


First Do No Harm

by LadyZephyr



Series: First Do No Harm [1]
Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: AU, Clones In Space, F/F, Space Opera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:58:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 48,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyZephyr/pseuds/LadyZephyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Even on DYAD's terms it was a difficult assignment.  Delphine Cormier is a physician of not only the subjects of DYAD's research experiments but of the station's general population.  Assigned to "babysit" a newcomer - an off-grid clone who's been permitted limited access of the station for good behaviour. She soon discovers how very human her subjects really are and finds herself quickly befriended by her subject. Cosima Niehaus is unlike anyone she's ever met. Unfortunately, the young woman is considered sub-human,  as one of DYAD's experiments and the focus of the research she's been engaged in for the last five years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Humanish

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note- I wanted to write a futuristic clones in space AU. So here it is. My very first AU fanfiction. Wish me luck!
> 
> The rating will probably make its way to M at some point - but you're in for ride first. 
> 
> Want more? Comment. Let me know what you think.  
> This Fic is unfortunately un-betaed. My apologies for any errors.

Dr. Cormier viewed her new subject first, before meeting her, through the shatter-resistant glass panels that made Huxley Station’s medical wing so impressive looking. 300 people living their lives in the rotating sections of the space station. At least half of which were DYAD medical or research staff. She was lucky enough to be both. There were no windows here, nor in the lab - but out in the main station, or in the residential section, she could look out on the colony and the stars. Sometimes she looked for constellations to see if she could find the ones she knew from back home.

Her new patient is sitting on the table, swinging her legs like a child looking entirely too relaxed. She doesn’t seem like the others: she wasn’t angry or tense or even terrified. She was freer, more childish.  Her hair was in some strange style. She couldn’t quite remember the name of it. And she was reading, seemingly unfazed by this turn of events. A pair of glasses sat beside her on the examination table. Dr. Cormier hadn’t seen a real book in ages. And there’s this clone, her new patient, reading one. This was going to be a very strange day.

Dr. Cormier grit her teeth as she swiped her card to enter the medical bay. Off-the-grid clones are always trouble. Always. Her supervisor and head of research, Aldous Leekie, prefers to watch these examinations from the safety of his office. Unless the clone has been sedated. She glances up at the camera, this is what she wanted. To practice medicine and conduct cutting-edge research. Though lately she was wondering if it was worth it. Last month they’d sent her one from some strange colony. That girl had been feral, animalistic, dangerous. She’d bitten her. She glanced down at her hand, the scar from the bite still reddish, but fading. She hadn’t seen that clone again after that. A small voice in the back of her head told her that she never would.

This girl seemed somehow different, perhaps it was the way she was holding herself. Dr. Cormier wasn’t afraid this time though. She ran through it again: examine, record, call security to escort the subject to the holding facility. She glanced at the guards standing outside of the examination room. Both completely stoic and unresponsive, until there was a problem.

“Hello.” She greeted approaching her new subject. She glances at the locked metallic cabinet on the other side of the room. Hopefully it will not be dangerous to remove her equipment with this one.

“You’re French.” The girl stated, “You Earth-born?” She tilts her head

She’s taken aback by the question, “Yes. Lived on the surface until I was fifteen.”

“You’ve been in cryo then...” The girl trails off. Whatever assumptions she’s making she’s respectful enough to make them inwardly.

 “Yes.” Dr. Cormier answers curtly, “I will need to take a blood sample from you.”

“Jeez, okay.” The girl rolled up her sleeve revealing tattoos. Tattoos? Where could you get tattoos around here? Where was this girl from? She opens the metal drawer with a wave of her hand - microchip activated. But the girl displays no sense of surprise even as she preps the needle. The girl holds out her arm and remains silent as she draws several vials of blood. This is going to be much easier than last time. She finds herself breathing more easily. She discards the used needle in the hazards bin.

“I will need to take some information down - your history, where you’ve lived.” She produces a small recording device from the pocket of her lab coat, it’s already active of course. That is policy. And Dr. Cormier has always played by the rules.  
 The girl eyes the device, and reaches for her glasses, “We moved around a lot. I don’t remember where I was born. You should be able to tracks us through my school files. They found me on Eos - I was working in a lab there. Science background, biology. Unfortunately I volunteered my own blood sample for a friend’s project.”

The girl looks down at her hand for a moment, observing the bite, but saying nothing.

“You didn’t know you were a clone?” This has happened before. More times than her higher ups would like to admit. Sometimes she found herself wondering if letting a few experiments slip through the cracks was part of the research. Some sort of control group. 

“No. I didn’t. My parents raised me as their daughter. I never knew the difference. I got through post-graduate education before anyone realized.” The girl falls silent for a moment, “What’s going to happen to them?”

“I don’t know.” She answers honestly, “You’ve been booked for a full-body scan. The guards will escort you.” She pulls a small roll of what looks like plastic from her pocket and unrolls it. The small screen displaying as she skims through the file with her fingers. She collects the vials of blood in her free hand - there will be time for that later.

“Don’t you need a name for the file?” The girl asks looking down at her.

“Your blood sample will match your tag number.” She follows the script given to her. She’s not supposed to ask names. Sometime she has. But they’re probably watching her. They’re always watching her. She does not wish to anger Dr. Leekie again.

The girl looks right through her, “Cosima Niehaus.” She extends her hand for a handshake.

Despite herself, she reaches to clasp her hand, “Delphine Cormier.”  
The hand in hers feels warm and entirely human. They always feel human. Not so different from her patients in the “normal” medical bay. The girl, Cosima, smiles at her for the first time. Probably smiles for the first time since she arrived. In some other universe, Delphine theorizes, they might have been friends.


	2. Chapter 2

“They aren’t human Delphine.” His hand firmly grips her shoulder. She’s already begun getting dressed. She has no intention of sleeping in Aldous’ quarters. She clenches her eyes shut at the gentle stroking of his fingers. 

“I know.” She responds, she stands and pulls her thermals back on first, followed by her uniform and lab coat. She doesn’t falter dressing, not anymore. She’s grown used to their arrangement, the resentment long since faded. 

“Then why were you shaking hands with 324b21?” Dr. Leekie lies reclined in his standard issue sheets. Not even bothering to make eye contact. He had been watching. 

“She introduced herself to me. I was being polite.” Delphine shrugs, looking back at her boss. 

“She’s a subject. Not a patient. Perhaps you are spending far too much time at the station clinic. You are an immunologist after all - you’d be better use to us in the lab full-time...”   
 “No. Please...” Not that. She wants to beg. She needs a break from straight research. The two days a week on the regular clinic rotation saves her sanity. Let her treat minor conditions, interact with people other than researchers. It’s a piece of a real life.

“I didn’t say I would. Either way. Your subject has the same ...condition as the others. Treat her.” He was completely unfazed. Sometimes she wondered why he strived to maintain this arrangement. He wasn’t enamoured with her. It often seemed just another way of keeping tabs on her. 

“Yes, of course.” She glances at the clock on her way out. She knew what he spoke of. A pre-programmed autoimmune disease that left the clones sterile, as well as dependent on stem-cell therapy for their entire lives. Useful to keep them under control.   
 She stopped by her own spartan quarters to shower before heading down to med lab once again. She prepped Cosima’s first injection, then made her way to the lift accompanied by a large, stoic guard. She feels him eyeing her but says nothing of it. She was going down to the grey sector where they kept the clones. Or samples of them anyways. Many were used as a workforce - various batches- some performing maintenance tasks around the station. Others were used for study. Cosima was from an earlier batch, Delphine hadn’t seen many of Cosima’s batch yet. She was rarely down here - they preferred to keep her in the research or medical labs. She could have sent a tech to do this. It made her nervous being down here. Too many whispers of things she’d rather not think about. Things she couldn’t think about if she wanted to keep her job.

She was led to a grey door with a tiny window. Her hand opens the door easily. Her high security clearance was one thing she was grateful for. Though, it had come at a price. 

It was like a jail cell: bed built into the wall, small toilet and a tiny sink in the corner. The rest of the small room was bare. Its only saving grace was the porthole window allowing the occupant to gaze out at the stars and colony below. Which is what Cosima Niehaus was doing, laying on her back staring, quite literally, off into space. 

“What colony is it?” She asked as soon as she saw Delphine.

“Leda 4.” The inquisitiveness surprised her, even here Cosima seemed fascinated by what was going on around her. Biology. Sciences. That is what Cosima was doing before she was brought here. They weren’t so very different. 

“What’s it like?” 

She shrugs in response, “Beautiful and green. I rarely get to go down. A few weeks out of the year.” It’s not the whole story but it’s enough for now she reasons. 

The response is incredulous, “That’s it? You’re spinning in orbit around what looks like a very nice and moderately populated planet and they let you out what, twice a year?” 

“DYAD is very demanding of its employees.” She responded diplomatically. 

“If I weren’t, you know - stuck. I’d be on that planet now. Lay out under the sky, feel the ground under my body.” She's gesturing wildly in the air; a hand-talker. It reminds her of home.

“You don’t like space?”

Cosima smiled again, “It’s cold. Sterile. And the food is shit. Well this is clone-jail so I think it’s supposed to-”    
“If you’re cold I can get you an extra blanket. Or new thermals? First, I do have to give you an injection.” Delphine brings up her purpose here. Why did she come herself? 

“What is it?” Cosima finally turns to look at her. 

“Stem cells. You are designed to require injections once every three months. You’ve probably begun showing symptoms already.” Delphine finds her voice faltering as she explains, producing the prepped syringe from her lab coat. 

Cosima adjusts herself for the injection, Delphine finds herself holding her breath as she completes the minor procedure. 

“That’s a design flaw.” Cosima states very seriously, “I mean what do they expect us to live normal lives with -”    
“They don’t,” She bows her head, speaking honestly now, “You’re special. Educated. Off the grid.” She gestures with her hands, hoping to get the point across. 

“What would have happened to me? If my parents hadn’t stolen me and run?” 

She knows the answer, but she bites her lip. Your batch has been terminated. The clones they are making now are more simplistic, less sentient, and more artificial. The words won’t come, instead she says, “You would have been a lab rat.” 

“How can they do that? I mean we’re their subjects but - we’re still human. Still sentient.”

Delphine reaches for Cosima’s hand, intending to comfort, “There are synthetic sequences in your DNA. You are not... completely human.” There is no kind way to tell her this. But she must know, must have realized from the way she is being treated. 

“So that makes me less human? Synthetic sequences in my DNA? What about designer embryos? There are millions of them being born. Probably more than unaltered humans. Are they less human?” Cosima’s voice was harsher now, rising. 

“You cannot reproduce. Clones cannot propagate themselves. You are designed to be infertile. DYAD didn’t want clones randomly reproducing. That was what tipped the balance; you are considered sub-human.”

“So I’m sub-human because I’m infertile?” Cosima’s voice is tinged with a barely controlled rage.

“That is the consensus of the governments and scientific community.” Delphine sighs, placing a hand over her head. She’s never been sure that she agrees with that. And Cosima seems so human. She doesn’t belong here. The rest of the clones here are... nothing like her. Designed to be docile, compliant. 

Cosima’s voice bursts out, “So are you! You’ve been through cryogenics what - at least once? Isn’t that a one in three chance rendering you infertile? Are you sub-human? Was my mother?” 

“No. Of course not! And neither are you Cosima. Not to me... but to Leekie, to DYAD-” She’s not sure how to get this across. Mind them. Play by their rules or they’ll have you killed. There’s no nice way to say it, and that guard is lurking just outside the cell door. 

“Leekie?” Cosima seemed intrigued once again. The anger dissipating, for now.

“He’s my direct supervisor.”   
 “I think I’ve heard of him. Scientific journals?”

“Probably. He publishes frequently.” Delphine has seen those articles, some of them lured her away from medicine and to DYAD in the first place. 

“Well I guess I’ll be in the journals now. Though not as I hoped.” Cosima tries to crack a joke.

Delphine looks down for a moment, considers, “Come with me.” She instructs, swiping her hand to open the cell door.


	3. Chapter 3

She doesn’t have the authority to transfer Cosima from grey sector, but she can authorize holding her in the lab for observation. The guard complains that this is a waste of time and leaving the clone in the cell is easier but he’s forced to comply. Delphine has tinted a large number of windows in the lab - making it more private.   
 Cosima sleeps soundly on one of the beds, tucked out of the way in the most discrete corner of med lab. Delphine sits awake, completing her paperwork and sorting through messages she’s been sent. She doesn’t sleep, not now; though in several hours she will really need to. She eyes the guard. His face impassive. She’s not sure she trusts him to watch Cosima alone. She’s heard some awful rumours of things going on in grey sector.

“So... did something go wrong with her injection?” Aldous’ voice interrupts her reflections.   
 “No. I am just keeping her for observation while I go over her test results.” She answers as honestly as she dares.

“Well... it could be interesting. The life of an off-the-grid clone.” Leekie pauses in his speech, waiting to have her full attention, “Why don’t we make a little experiment of it? She seems well-behaved enough.”

“What are you asking for?” She looks at him, wanting him to cut to the chase. She didn’t have the patience for his games right now, even though, she always finds herself playing into his hand.

“Why don’t you befriend her. Babysit her. No, no... Monitoring. Keep her with you, get to know her. Something interesting might come of it.”

“Something for your next paper?” She couldn’t believe she was being dragged into this on his side. She did medical tests, looked at blood samples and illnesses.   Leekie shakes his head and cups her cheek with his hand, “Ah Delphine... you could get credit on it. And, as it seems you don’t want to keep her with the others, she’s your responsibility. Understood?”

“Understood.” This was a good thing: permission to remove Cosima from grey sector, from that cell, from those...clones to whom she bears no resemblance.

“Of course you’ll have a guard.” 

“I don’t think I’ll be needing one.” She responded honestly, “I don’t think she’ll hurt me.”

“To be on the safe side, you’ll be followed - if at a distance. And for now? She returns to her cell at night.” 

It wasn’t up for discussion. “Understood.” 

He eyes her carefully, considering before deciding on a course of action. “Excellent. I’ll watch her. You go get some sleep.”

Delphine stands, saves her work and finds her way back to her quarters. She collapses into her bed unwilling to think anymore.  
 The computer wakes her automatically after eight hours. She longs to sleep longer - but the system will not allow it. Eight hours of work, eight hours of sleep and eight hours leisure time. That is what the system is designed for. She changes her clothes, pacing the small space of her quarters. There is no space for entertaining here; a tiny bathroom, her bed, a glass divider she could darken on demand for privacy, and a couch. The small kitchenette takes up one corner - Cosima was wrong about the food. It was possible to get fresh produce from the surface. Shuttles came up daily bringing supplies, personnel and travelers through their hub. Though she expected the clones were kept on packaged rations. 

She hesitates about preparing food - she’s left Cosima in the care of Dr. Leekie. Assumably he will have returned her to her cell down in grey sector. She changes her clothes and quickly rushes out back to her lab. The lift seems to take forever to take her from the residential sector to the blue sector- DYAD’s part of the station.   
When she arrives the dividing walls are clear glass again, Leekie and Cosima are standing about a metre apart having what looks like a rather intense conversation. Merde. The first word she hear’s is Cosima’s.

“Bullshit.” Cosima crosses her arms and is staring down Dr. Leekie.

No. No, no, no. Not good. Delphine quickly positions herself between them, she’s been awake less than fifteen minutes, and already she knows she’d slept too long. She’d never seen anyone stand up to Leekie in the five years she’d been with DYAD. It would be a lie to say that she was completely unimpressed. 

Aldous turns to address her, “I think you’re in for an interesting time, Dr. Cormier.”

“She’s cheeky. It’s kind of charming really.” Delphine tries, attempting to brush off whatever she’s walked into.  
 “She’s a smart-ass,” He shoots her a look, with a half smile, “Dr. Cormier, enjoy your day - I’ll be seeing you at 2200 hours.”

“Dr. Leekie.” She maintains formality, nodding as he leaves the lab. Probably for his own office or his private lab. 

“Well. He’s creepy. Brilliant. But kinda creepy.” Cosima comments to her calmly as Delphine watches her boss leave.

“I am just happy I caught you before he put you back in your cell.” She breathes a sigh of relief. He must have let Cosima sleep a long time. 

“Oh that was purposeful. I engaged him on a debate on the finer points of genetic engineering and transgenics.” Cosima smiles that same genuine smile.

She laughs, unable to help herself, then pauses, “Are you hungry? There are restaurants and markets on the non-DYAD parts of the station?”

Cosima perks up noticeably, “Real food?”

A meal of pancakes and fruit later Cosima eyes her contentedly across the table.   
 “Is space still awful?” She asks.

“No. Not when you can get real food. Think I could convince you to get me some of that chia seed pudding?” She eyes the closet food stand. They’re sitting at the open market. Surrounded by travelers, merchants and some military. There are scientists around, whoever happens to be on break but not many. No one knows Cosima is a clone here. It’s feeling more like a secret. Left unsaid in their glances and science-loaded conversation.

“Mmmm, tomorrow is looking good for that.” She glances around, some people are watching her. They’ve probably only ever seen her eating alone, or buy food in a rush eager to get back to her work. 

“Gluttony isn’t allowed then?” Cosima teases. 

“No, but you aren’t chipped so all this food is coming out of my food allowance.” She sweeps one hand across the table, but she’s still smiling. 

Cosima leans forward, elbows on the table, “They restrict your eating too?”   
“Somewhat.” She shrugs, “It’s an allotted amount of my pay.” 

“Bastards.” Cosima shakes her head, still smiling. 

“Yes. Bastards.” She nods her head in agreement laughing at her exceedingly endearing subject. 

“Least you’re not on rations. And thanks to you, neither am I.” 

“I’ll cook tonight, it’s more affordable.” Delphine muses.  
 “Ooh dinner... hey any chance we can get some wine?” Cosima asks playfully. 

“It’s possible.” Delphine thinks, wine was expensive - even the stuff from the surface. “But expensive.”

“Hmmm Dr. Creepy seems the type to have a bottle put away somewhere - think we could sneak in and steal it?”

She’s not sure whether to laugh or to cry. She certainly could get Cosima into his private office and steal a bottle of wine but... She’s not even sure if she’s joking. But this is the most fun she’s had in years.


	4. Chapter 4

She spends the afternoon in the research lab, with Cosima. The girl, for her part, seems fascinated by much of it. Especially the cryogenics section. She finds her reading though documents on the small tablet she’s lent her. Research papers, commercial advertisements. Everything. Her appetite for knowledge as voracious as her appetite for life. Occasional questions directed at her keep her busy as well as conducting her normal work. Though today the blood samples were being processed by a tech one level down. She holds back the more confidential files, having locked the device herself before handing it over. There are some things she’d rather Cosima not see. 

“So these are the freezers?” Cosima walks along the great wall of freezers.

“Yes.” She glances up from her work station. It’s quiet in the lab today, a few other doctors and techs have been in and out, but no one has stayed to ask questions about who Cosima is. They’ve probably labelled her as a new grad student and shrugged off her presence altogether. 

Cosima pauses, “Are they all, you know, clone embryos?” 

“Not all of them. Some are designer embryos for private clients, there are also samples - embryos, semen, and ova belonging to some of the staff.” 

“Really? Why? Are they going to clone you?”

“No. Nothing of mine,” Delphine laughs slightly before launching into an explanation, “All the male workers here have been sterilized. This is their insurance policy in case they ever leave or wish to have children.”   
 “So they’re controlling the birth rate, no unintended children. No interruptions in work.” Cosima reasons through it, “Only the males?”

“Yes. It’s easier, and sometimes possible to reverse.” Delphine nods, returning to her health test results from various subjects. There was nothing out of the ordinary until she looked at Cosima’s. “Cannabis?” She said aloud seeming puzzled.

Cosima fingers continue their excited movements, “Well I guess that test is mine.” She grins.

“How? Where did you get cannabis?” She’s shaking her head, laughing. Marijuana is not something she expected to show up in the toxicology screening. How would anyone even access it? It’s not possible near Leda 4, or any other major colony in the area. 

“It’s not that hard to find on Eos.” Cosima smiles, “They had me in cryo on my way here - so I guess it would show up even if the trip took a few months.”

“Well I guess I can leave the full-body cryo unit off the tour then.” Delphine did not enjoy that part of the lab. It was too... creepy. 

“I don’t really remember much of it.” She answers honestly. 

“They never do when you bring them out.” She mumbled back, forwarding the relevant results to their respected departments. She doesn’t even like performing the procedure never mind being put in or taken out herself. Once was more than enough for a lifetime.

Cosima pauses, “Sedation?”

“Yes. Otherwise the process would be too painful.” She puts down her work, “How about a real tour before dinner?”

The tour involved some of the labs, minus full-body cryo and Dr. Leekie’s private lab. As well as the more public areas of the station. 

“Violet eyes.” Cosima mused taking note of many people passing through the station.

“Yes. It’s a fairly common modification.” She didn’t work in that department and hadn’t thought much about it before. 

Cosima turns to face her, “What’s the most common? For private genetic engineering.” 

“For females or males?” Delphine knew the answers were different. There are many modifications, making the child more intelligent, selecting eye colour, ensuring a taller adult.

“Either? Both?” Cosima asked curiously.

“With males it varies. Typically with females it’s vanity modifications, body hair prevention.” She blushes a little at that. That’s ridiculously common. She has no genetic modifications herself. Perhaps that makes her different in some ways to most of the people here. 

“Really? This much science and possibility and all they want to do is give women neck down alopecia?” Cosima is incredulous. 

“I didn’t say it makes sense. Those are the designer embryos though - the clones are different.” She doesn’t say how, surely Cosima noticed how quiet it was in grey sector. How vacant they were.

“Well it’s completely eugenical and incredibly disturbing. The ethical questions are boundless. That was a huge part of my thesis work actually. Cloning, transgenics and how it’s affecting all of us. Why are we doing this? Really? Want to know what I really think?”

Delphine considers shifting her weight, “Yes. I do.” 

“Yeah. And the other clones, the newer clones? The only reason people think they’re less human is they are designed that way. To make you feel more comfortable that you’re designing an underclass that will never rebel, and that can be used for scientific study. It’s amazing science, Delphine. But it’s completely disgusting.” Cosima’s standing very close now, speaking quietly. Their faces only inches apart. 

They aren’t like Cosima. Not at all, and yet... she’s not wrong. “Follow me.” She takes Cosima by the hand, leading back to the lift, to Leekie’s office/entertaining space and to his wine rack. Really, what will he do to her at this point? She’s already used to other scientists and techs giving her looks, knowing about the open secret that was her arrangement with her boss. Fire her? Have her killed? Unlikely. He prefers keeping her under his thumb. 

Cosima grabs two bottles with a silly grin, and then they sneak them out covered in Delphine’s lab coat. She thinks of their guard briefly, but can’t bring herself to care.

The evening passes quickly, pleasantly. She cooks while Cosima reads. Novels. Research papers. She’s not even sure. For once her quarters are filled with life, laughter. Anything is fair game for discussion, research and ideas. Cosima is more than capable of keeping up with her, but respects her knowledge and expertise. She can’t remember the last time things felt so comfortable or easy. 

They eat, and drink the first bottle of wine with dinner, the second stowed away for another night. Cosima jumps up to help her clean, Delphine almost forgets that this is now part of her job. She would do this anyways. Though it worries her, what will become of Cosima?

“Why can’t I stay with you, you have a couch.” Cosima points at the couch to illustrate her point.

Delphine responds automatically, “Dr Leekie will not like it.”    
“Ok, so we piss off your boss. It’s not like he’s going to fire you over it.” Cosima cajoles slightly. She doesn’t blame her. Staying here would be far better for her. And maybe, for Delphine as well...

“It’s more complicated then that.” Delphine shrugs, placing a hand in the small of Cosima’s back and guiding her out the door. Cosima can’t stay here. It’s nearly 2200 now - and she has to go. She doesn’t want to have to make excuses or hope that Cosima sleeps like the dead. She really doesn’t want her to know about her secret. 

“Fine. But you’ll be back for me tomorrow morning?” 

“Early. Before I even eat. I promise.” Delphine watches Cosima’s eyes follow the guard, who is obviously terrible at keeping a conspicuous distance.

“Same guard following us as before.” Cosima whispers under her breath as they walk to the lift. 

“I know.” Delphine shakes her head, before stepping on to the lift with Cosima. The guard, correctly reading their action, does not follow, “Grey sector.” She speaks for the benefit of the automatic system. 

As the lift begins the slow descent to grey sector all she feels is guilt. Why should she have to let Cosima be locked up for the night? It’s absolutely ridiculous. And cruel... And the guard seems to have taken himself off-duty for the night. 

She finds herself taking Cosima’s hand in her own, intending to comfort her but when she meets her eyes she cannot go through with this.

“Stop the lift.” She’s shaking her head and looking at her endearing subject, her new friend. She can’t just leave her there. Whatever protective instincts she possesses have kicked in.

Cosima’s beaming at her, delighted at this turn of events, and as the lift reverses it’s path back to residential sector all she can do now is hope that Cosima sleeps like the dead. 

When they arrive back in her quarters, Cosima is eyeing her as she begins to rummage in her closet for her extra blankets, about to plunk them down on the couch with a smile. When she turns Cosima is right up against her, her breath catches. Oh. This is what this is. How could she not have seen it before? Cosima is close now reaching a hand up to her hair, gentle fingers brushing curls as she leans up and presses their lips together sweetly. She feels her body seemingly responding on autopilot before wrapping her hands around Cosima shoulders.   
 “I have to go.” She breaks the kiss. She can’t do this. Not now. Not here. She’s surprised, though now thinking back she wonders why. 

“Oh shit. Delphine, did I misread this?” Cosima looks concerned for a moment.

“No it’s okay. I have a meeting with Dr. Leekie. I’ll see you later. Stay here.” She instructs as she rushes out the door with her head spinning.


	5. Chapter 5

She arrives fifteen minutes late at Dr Leekie’s quarters. It’s several levels higher in the residential sector, where the more wealthy and influential inhabitants have their oversized quarters. Her head is still spinning, and it’s not only the wine. Though, she is somewhat tipsy. She doubts that Aldous will notice. 

“Delphine.” Leekie greets her at the door in his bathrobe.

“Aldous.” She nods stepping in after him. Twice in two days, this was unusual for him to call for her like this. Perhaps he’s putting himself back in cryo soon, another six months in an attempt to extend his lifespan. That would be a relief, six months free of this. 

“How are things with Cosima?”

She pauses, “I thought she was 324b21 to you.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Fine. She’s excellent company, engaging, intelligent.” She smiles genuinely thinking of Cosima. 

“Hmm good.” Aldous pauses, “Twenty-nine years ago I had a couple volunteers to carry a clone to term - only for them to say that the IVF was unsuccessful and disappear. I just want to see what became of my clone.”

“Cosima’s parents?” She knew her question would go unanswered. 

“Keep up the work. I want to know what she’s been up to. Where she’s been. And if we can use her.”

“Use her?” Delphine’s mind races, “What? Keep her like a pet? To show off to your business partners?” She understands now, perhaps too well.

“Now Delphine, jealousy is attractive on no one.” Leekie shakes his finger at her, like she’s some sort of misbehaving child.   
 She can picture it now, herself on one arm, Cosima on the other. Prancing them in front of military contracts and private businesses at functions. Leekie and his two pets. One, his reluctant mistress. The other, one of his subjects. 

Aldous is silent, he reaches for the fastenings of her uniform. It’s always the same, a strange routine she’s fallen into. Undressing, going through the motions - thinking about anything and everything else. Her work, test results, clones and how Cosima is waiting for her back in her quarters. Cosima. She speeds things along as much as she can, wanting this to be over. Wanting him off of her, out of her, as quickly as possible. 

Afterwards she begins to pull her clothes on before hesitating, “Is it alright if I shower here?” She doesn’t want to wake Cosima when she returns. Or come home smelling like this. It would ruin her game of pretending that she didn’t do this.

“Is there something wrong with your shower? You should call maintenance.” He’s unconcerned and certainly unwilling to let her stay to clean up. That had not been part of their arrangement in many years. Though, when she first arrived he would permit her to shower here, when she’d been his new toy.   
“No. It’s fine.” She puts her clothes back on quickly, throwing her messy hair back in a quick ponytail at the back of her head. She’d rather have Cosima safe and out of that cell even if it meant losing her respect. It’s a chance she’ll have to take. Her desire to escape eventually outweighed her desire to feel clean. 

Leekie pauses before snapping his fingers as he remembers what he was going to say, “Oh. You’re off clinic rotation.” 

Now her voice breaks, “Why?” 

He fixes those eyes on her, “You know why.” 

She leaves abruptly, making her way down the halls hoping desperately that Cosima has fallen asleep. It can’t have been much more than an hour though. If that... All the quarters look the same, sliding grey doors, except for the numbers above them. 

She enters her quarters silently, Cosima is sitting up on her couch waiting for her, having added blankets and a pillow on her own. Damn. She looks pleased to see her even, greeting her with another winning smile.  
 She hesitates for a moment before deciding what to say, “I’m just going to shower, okay? Then we’ll talk.” 

“I’m sorry about before Delphine. I think maybe I had a little too much wine.” Cosima gestures apologetically, approaching her.   
She shakes her head, “I’ve never... Don’t get so close.” Not now, she begs silently as Cosima moves towards her. She sees brown eyes widen behind glasses.

“Where have you been?” Cosima looks at her a moment, figuring it out, she’s too close. She must be able to smell her, the sex and the sweat. 

She’s not sure what to say, she watches the expression on Cosima’s face morph from one of hope and apology to something better resembling disgust. What must she think of her now? Sleeping her way to the top? Making deals with Leekie? Or just so bothered by Cosima’s kiss that she had to find a man to take to bed? She can’t stand it. 

She bursts into tears for the first time she can remember in years. And Cosima’s expression changes just as quickly to one of great concern. She finds herself gathered up into Cosima’s arms on her couch. She doesn’t deserve this. And it bothers her how much she wants this. How she shouldn’t really have these kind of feelings for Cosima anyways, it will get them both in so much trouble. 

“Hey, you don’t have to explain it to me.” Cosima attempts comfort. “I’m just your houseguest. Whatever you want to do is fine.” 

“When I first came here,” She manages through her weeping, “I admired him. Now... I think I hate him.” She’s never said that aloud before. Five years she’d been at DYAD, she’d come as a young doctor curious about everything DYAD did. First earning her PhD under his tutelage, then working at DYAD as his colleague and employee.

“Leekie.” Cosima’s figured it out, it doesn’t stop her from stroking her hair with her free hand. Her face is resting against Cosima’s shoulder, trying to hide her face from view as she attempts to stop her tears. 

She nods, other words, explanations and apologies come to mind but she can’t bring herself to speak about it out loud. She’s never talked about it before, to anyone. 

“Was this his idea? Leaving me with you?” She asks, suddenly serious.

“Not initially. I wanted you out of that cell. His interest is secondary, it only granted permission.” She assures Cosima. Who seems pleased by that much at least.  She stands to go shower. She can never stand to have his smell on her. 

“But according to him I’m supposed to be in my cell right now?”   
“Officially, yes you are still in your cell at night.” She nods, throwing her uniform off and in to the laundry. Of course he’ll know by the morning. They will notice Cosima is missing - and they will come looking for her. Her mind is too clouded to plan anything just now. 

“If this hurts you, then why do you do it?” Cosima grasps her hand. She hesitates unsure if they are talking about where she spent the last hour or why she removed Cosima from her cell.

“I don’t have much choice.” She walks into the small bathroom, clad in her thermals, and away from Cosima. She strips the thin clinging fabric from her body and leaves them on the floor. She steps out of her undergarments just as quickly.

She showers as quickly as she can, scrubbing her skin until she feels somewhat clean again. When the shower turns off there’s a towel and her pajamas waiting for her just outside the door. 

“It’s warmer here.” Cosima’s voice comes from the direction of her couch. 

“Yes. Residential sections are kept warmer than the rest of the station.” She answers back, dressing herself quickly. Cosima has turned her back, allowing her some privacy. She darkens the screens anyways with a swipe of her hands. 

Cosima has borrowed one of her nightgowns. It’s long on her, makes her look even more childlike than usual. She’s taken off her glasses too, leaving them on her small end table. 

“Yeah. The thermals got too warm, hope you don’t mind.” She indicates the nightgown with her fingers. 

“No. Not at all.” She smiles back at her, tomorrow they’d have to discuss this further. She’d have to tell her a little bit more, but she wants to let it sit for now. She’s not even sure where to begin. 

When she crawls into bed, Cosima follows, laying down beside her. It suddenly dawns on her that she’s the one being taken care of now. She says nothing as Cosima tucks herself in next to her. There’s plenty of room in this bed after all. Though, she had intended her guest to take the couch. 

Cosima looks at her again, eyes panning down her body, “I might just be somewhat drunk... but,” she takes a deep breath, “I still want you. But I don’t know if you’re even into women and this is clearly the worst timing ever...”

Delphine shakes her head even as she feels her body respond to those words, the passion etched on those features, “Go to sleep Cosima.” She presses a gentle hand to Cosima’s face. She’s never been with a woman, it hadn’t occurred to her in her youth, and since she’d arrived here she’d been with no one. Not for her own needs anyways. Cosima doesn’t need to know that now.   
It shouldn’t happen. Cosima is her subject, her friend and her responsibility. No one would ever respect her again if they heard she’d taken a clone to her bed. They’d lump her transgression in with bestiality. She could lose everything.

And yet, she lets her thumb stroke Cosima’s cheek, smooth and warm. Watches her eyes close lazily, but when she grazes too close to her mouth she finds her thumb unexpectedly taken into its warmth. She could try, she thinks briefly. But not tonight. 

Cosima’s looking at her impishly for a moment before running her tongue around the digit in her mouth, watching her face react. Testing her.   
 She bites her lip, holding back sounds and shakes her head no again. 

Her thumb is released with a whispered apology, “Sorry.” Cosima rolls over, facing the wall and assumably falls asleep.

Delphine lies awake a long time after, afraid of the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

She awakes to a buzz at the door. In sleep, her body had sought Cosima’s warmth. She blinks blearily, realizing she’s pressed tightly against Cosima’s back. She pries herself away and throws on a robe before making her way to the door. Cosima rolls again, with a small sound, determined not to get out of bed. She can feel her head pounding, and becomes very aware she’s somewhat hungover. 

The door buzzes again, she presses a button next to the door on the inside and it slides open. Dr. Leekie stands next to a guard in the corridor. 

“Your favourite subject is missing.” Leekie says without fanfare. He glances into her quarters, no doubt catching sight of her couch made up like a bed and the empty wine bottle on her counter. 

Delphine sighs, clasping her robe shut near her neck, “No she’s not.”

“Where is she Delphine?” He’s impatient, irritated. 

“She’s inside. Asleep.” She steps out into the corridor in her robe allowing the door to close behind her.   
 “Did I not specifically tell you that 324B21 was to be returned to her cell at night? Was she left unguarded all night? Who the hell knows where she is now? She could be in any public area of this station.” 

“I know exactly where she is,” Delphine hisses back, “She’s in my bed, asleep.” 

He fixes his eyes on her, “How can you be sure?” 

“She’s not chipped, she would have been unable to leave and come back without buzzing for me to open the door.” Delphine glances at the people walking by, mostly techs, nurses and doctors. DYAD staff. She’s quite aware of how this looks. 

“And you’re sure she’s still inside?” Leekie’s hushed tone is beginning to irritate her. If he’s going to punish her for this somehow she’d prefer he just get on with it.

“Yes. I just left her there.” Her voice is louder now. 

He stops for a moment a curious expression playing across his face, “I think you need to take some time for yourself Dr. Cormier. Two weeks leave on Leda 4. Starting immediately.” 

“What about Cosima?”

“I will look after Cosima personally. She’ll be in capable hands.” Leekie half-smiles at her. He nods at the guard, who overrides her door security and enters her quarters. 

“No. She’s my responsibility. I will be taking her with me.” She responds instantly, there is no choice. Standing her ground feels strange against him, she hasn’t defied him in years. She glances in nervously after the guard, trying to see what he is doing.

He shoots back with one word, “Why?”

She thinks quickly, stepping into the role of the obedient scientist that he often casts her in, “You told me to stay with her, learn everything about her past. Do you honestly think that she will open up to you?”

“Probably not.” Leekie leans in closer his tone hushed, “I’ll consider allowing you to take her, but she’s valuable property Delphine. I cannot have her straying too far. If I decide to allow it; you can stay in my condo in Syl. I’ll expect reports back with anything that comes up.”

“Or?” She knows the condo well, a large penthouse suite designed for entertaining in the largest city on Leda 4. She has no intention of staying there, but for now she says nothing. Let him assume that that is where she will be. 

“Or we will be renegotiating your position here at DYAD when we return. Impress me and you may even return to your two days of clinic rotation when this mess is over with.” Leekie glances into her quarters, the light still dimmed and the glass divider still darkened. The guard only glances into her room to assure that Cosima is still present before walking back to the door. Awaiting orders. 

“Over?” Her voice betrays her.

“Yes. Shall we escort the subject back to her cell?” 

 

She was unable to stop Cosima being awoken, forced to dress in thermals again quickly and escorted back to her cell. Cosima’s eyes were cold when she left early that morning, escorted on either side by Leekie and that damned guard, his hand biting into Cosima’s arm, hard enough to bruise.

She doesn’t wait, she packs quickly, throwing an small assortment of clothes and a medical kit in her old grey duffle before swinging it over her shoulder. She stops to purchase two return tickets to Leda 4 from the public interface in the corridor. The next shuttle departing in twenty minutes - it would have to be enough time. She stops briefly at the market, seeing two colourful long-sleeved dresses that were about Cosima’s size. She buys them too, ignoring the protests of the merchant that they will be too short on her. She shoves them in with her own luggage. She would let Cosima purchase more of whatever she needed on the surface. 

She finds the lift, her chip still works to get her into grey sector but finds the guards more disturbing than usual. They seem to understand why she is there and lead her, once again to Cosima’s cell. The one from this morning is no where to be seen- but if his colleagues’ behaviour is any hint he’s had time to share his gossip. Finding a clone in the bed of one of the DYAD doctors was news that would not stay private for long. 

The door opens, Aldous has not locked her out, at least not yet. That much she is grateful for. Though he probably didn’t expect her to leave so quickly.

“Delphine. I didn’t think I’d see you again.” Cosima sits up on her bed, once again clad only in grey thermals. Her voice conveys relief. 

She rummages in her bag producing one of the dresses, “Here, throw this on and come with me.”

“Where are we going?” Cosima smiles at the dress, pulling it over her head. It suited her, she’d chosen correctly.

“No time. Come with me before he changes his mind.”

They rush to the lift, a guard following as per usual, he does not enter the lift with them though. Instead she sees him turn towards the communications panel.

“Did they hurt you?” Delphine does not trust anyone here. No one can be trusted to keep Cosima safe. There is no choice. She checks Cosima over in the lift for signs of a struggle, seeing nothing evident. Though those thermals could be hiding bruises beneath the drab fabric. 

She shakes her head, “No, they leer a bit but no one’s hurt me.” 

She heads directly to the launching bay, people seated on benches as they are guided to the airlock to board various shuttles. Some leaving the system, or even the sector - part of her briefly wishes they could board one of those. She shakes her head, shutting down that train of thought completely.   
A woman stands near the nearest airlock checking tickets, but the line is nearly gone now, “Last call for the 645 shuttle to Leda 4.” 

“Where are we going?” Cosima whispers as Delphine pulls her to the airlock, extending her tablet to display her tickets.

“Ah you made it just in time.” The woman checks their tickets and then waves them through the airlock. Delphine knows the way, she pulls Cosima through the airlock and into the passenger seating area of the small shuttle. Several rows of seats with harnesses containing a rather diverse group of passengers. Cosima sticks out though, with her dreadlocks. An attendant guides them over to two empty seats and buckles them in securely. She takes their luggage and locks it away in one of the compartments. Everything here is calm, expected and regimented. The opposite of her frantically thudding heart and rapidly spinning mind. She hasn’t even bothered to take an acetaminophen for the hangover headache. There was no time.

“You said you wanted to see the planet.” Delphine whispers, grasping Cosima’s hand in her own.

There’s not long now, she hears the airlock disengage with a loud clunk and the pilot’s voice over the loudspeaker as the attendants buckle themselves into their seats. 

She breathes a sigh of relief, closing her eyes. The guard has probably alerted his superiors but it was too late to stop them now. She had it planned out now, they’ll take the train as soon as they reach Syl, they’d be able to eat then. It’s a short flight, there’s no rotating sections providing gravity on this shuttle though. She watches Cosima’s dreads wave slightly above her head. 

Cosima’s looking at her again, “I hope you have a plan.” She finally speaks. 

“Yes.” Delphine thinks now of the cottage, two hours outside of a small town called Merrick, hours from Syl. She hasn’t been there in months, but it’s the only place she feels remotely safe bringing Cosima. She strokes her hand absentmindedly, it will only be a two week reprieve - but it will have to be enough.


	7. Chapter 7

The train connection was smooth, though she found herself using one of the public interfaces - booking a rental vehicle for when they arrive. They sit in the dining car, both starving by the time they board the train in Syl. The transport hub had been busy, and distracting but she’d guided Cosima through it as quickly as possible to make a quick train connection. 

Cosima eats, though she’s darkened the windows, seemingly as hungover as Delphine. A tray of food sits in front of her: pastry, fruit and porridge. Cosima is ravenously devouring her meal. She’s starting to look warm from the thermals, they should probably both change. It’s nearly summer on this continent and they’re dressed for the station. Luckily this train is equipped with air conditioning. 

“You should eat Delphine.” She hasn’t said much since they left the station, but Delphine hasn’t volunteered any information either. She intends to make it difficult for Aldous this time. She’d called a taxi in Syl as she boarded the train - a false trail. She knows he’ll be tracking her.

“I’m making our travel arrangements.” She doesn’t make eye contact, her rental vehicle now secured for when they arrive in Merrick. They are still five hours away, even by train. If she does this properly it should take Aldous several days to locate them. Even so, it’s not looking good for her future at this moment. She pushes those thoughts back down, they don’t go well with a hangover. 

Cosima pushes her plate towards her, “You still need to eat.” 

“I know,” She reaches for a pastry and bites off the end of it. She stops to eat, they have a few hours anyways. Least the food is decent, for train food. 

“Where are we going?” Cosima asks between shoveling spoonfuls of porridge into her mouth.

“Somewhere safe.” She stops for a moment realizing that is not enough of an answer, “They told me to take two weeks of leave, starting immediately.” 

“So you stole me out from under Leekie’s nose?” She snorts with laughter.

“Not exactly, he was considering allowing me to bring you - I just didn’t wait long enough for him to make a decision.” Or reduce my high security clearance, she adds quietly to herself. She plays with her hands, she’s unsure of what to do with them just now. 

“So it’s not a real escape plan.” Cosima reasons through it, “It’s temporary at best.”

“No. It’s... a reprieve.” Delphine takes a moment to decide on a word.

Cosima pauses glancing down at her breakfast, “Still, you didn’t leave me behind. Thank you.” 

She turns back to the practical, “You should change out of those thermals when you finish eating. It’s nearly summer on this continent.”

“How long until they find us?” Cosima finishes eating just as she begins. Delphine hadn’t realized how hungry she was. 

“A few days, maybe a week. It depends.” There are no clear answers about that anymore. She’s not even sure if Leekie will send someone after them, or just let this play out - like one of his games.

“So what’s the point?”

“I don’t know. I just couldn’t leave you behind. Not with Leekie; you cannot trust him. Not for a minute. And it’s not just him, you may not know this but the guards - there are some terrible rumours Cosima.” 

Cosima interrupts her, “I already know.” At Delphine’s horrified look she continues, “No not me - they go for the easy targets.” 

“I’m sorry.” Delphine shakes her head, reaching a hand across the table for Cosima’s. She doesn’t care who sees them here. 

“It’s not your fault. No one cares enough to stop them. I mean you lump clone-fucking in with beastiality but everyone turns a blind eye if a guard wants to rape one.” 

“Where did you hear that?” Delphine needs to know the answer. Though she fully intends to bring this up with Leekie when she returns, assuming that she still has any standing at DYAD whenever she returns. 

“The guard who took me out of your room this morning.” Cosima drops her voice low, “He had some interesting things to say about you.”

“Oh.” She’s not sure what Cosima’s heard but it cannot possibly be any good. 

“I don’t care, you know.” Cosima shrugs, “I’m going to go back to our car and change.”

“Alright.” Delphine nods, returning her attention to her breakfast. Cosima turns and walks back through the train to their compartment. 

She follows as soon as she’s done breakfast. Everything in this train is grey, from the carpets to the narrow corridors to the doors to the compartments.  
Cosima sits alone in their compartment, bare legs crossed beneath the dress. Her head is tipped back against the seat in sleep. She knows, there’s nothing underneath the dress. They’ll have to stop in Merrick to pick up supplies anyways. She changes quickly into civvies, though she doubts Cosima will wake. 

She sits next to her, curling her own body to partially shield Cosima from view if anyone enters the compartment. She feels safest falling asleep with one arm around Cosima, no one will take her without Delphine waking.  
She wakes a few hours later, Cosima is awake if her breathing is any hint, they’re curled together on the bench seat. Her face in Cosima’s neck and an arm flung around her. She presses a sleepy kiss to Cosima’s cheek. 

“Ah now you wake up.” Cosima giggles, reminding her of where she is.    
“I’m not really awake yet.” Delphine admits. Travel takes so much out of her. She pulls herself up to a seated position. At least her hangover is faded. She glances at the clock, pleased with how long they slept. 

“You’re not missing much. Nice scenery. No one’s come in. Not since I’ve been conscious anyways.” 

“It’s not long now. We get off in Merrick.” 

“What’s in Merrick?” 

“You’ll see.” Delphine answers with a smile as she checks through her belongings. 

They find their way off the train easily, the train continues on to larger and more interesting cities. According to their tickets they are still on board. Delphine navigates the station easily, Cosima trailing slightly behind. 

The rental vehicle is small, and runs on ethanol - she puts her duffle in the small trunk and climbs into the driver’s seat, adjusting position for her long legs. She hasn’t driven in months - but these vehicles are fairly idiot-proof. 

“It’s so small.” Cosima comments as they drive through town, pulling up to a grocery store. The small downtown has a few cafés and various stores. There’s honestly not much here, but it’s popular with retirees and outdoorsy types. 

“Yes. It is.”

“Where are we going to stay? Is there even a hotel?”

“Hmm there might be one.” Delphine glances around the parking lot, “I’m going to get food, do you want to come with?”

The store was fortunately one of those crazy large ones that had a bit of everything, allowing Cosima to purchase a few items of clothing. A large amount of groceries and a large cooler purchased later and they’re back in the car - Cosima helps her load the cooler in the trunk, placing the duffle on top of it. She doesn’t change though, even being commando, she is just cautious to cross her legs as she sits. She starts the car again and looks over to see Cosima yawning. 

“It’s a bit of a drive. You can sleep if you need to.” Delphine reaches a hand from the steering wheel to give Cosima’s a gentle squeeze. 

 

Cosima is just waking as she pulls up to the cottage, “Wake up Cosima.” She calls, encouraging her to fully wake.

They climb out of the vehicle, Cosima approaches to get a better look at it. She takes it in, the large windows, the wooden construction, the simplicity of it. Her little house in the middle of nowhere. She enjoys watching the look on Cosima’s face, surprise followed by pure delight. 

Cosima finally speaks, “Who does this belong to?”

She finds herself unable to stop smiling, “It’s mine. I purchased it from a former colleague about two years ago.” She remembers it well, it was offered to her and she decided to take the advice to buy some planet side property. Aldous still refers to it as “that shack”.

Cosima helps her lug the cooler to the front door, where she enters the key-code easily and the door swings free. Cosima wanders around the great room while she packs the food away in the fridge. She looks over her kitchen, it doesn’t seem any worse for wear, perhaps in need of a good clean.  
 “So it’s all one room?” Cosima looks from the cozy living area with it’s fireplace to the eat-in kitchen. A loft hangs out just above the kitchen area, the bedroom is upstairs, open to the rest of the great room from above. One large bed on a low platform dominates the small space. The closets along the sides are open, already containing a fair amount of Delphine’s clothes. 

“There’s a bathroom past the kitchen at the back,” She pauses, “And a small bedroom.” She finds the tap and lets it run several minutes until the water runs clean. She makes a mental note to let the water run in the washroom as well. 

“You have this and you never get down here?” Cosima’s incredulous now, she seems to love this house as much as Delphine does. 

“Almost never.” She admits. She glances at the produce she’s purchased. It’s enough for the week, or it should be without having to drive the two hours back to town. She begins cooking, a quick veggie curry and some rice. Nothing overly complex.

Cosima’s gone off to shower. When she returns she rests on the couch, exhausted from their trip. She’s tired too, but the desire to eat something wins out. She wipes down her counters and checks her cupboards assessing things. Anything to help keep herself awake. 

“Delphine?” She can just see Cosima’s face now, popping up over the brown fabric of her couch.

“Yes.” She looks up from her cooking, it’s nearly done now. 

Cosima blurts it out, “I want to know everything.” There it is, a list of unspoken questions she’ll inevitably have to answer.

“That would take you many lifetimes of study,” Delphine jokes back uncomfortable with exactly what Cosima is asking. She directs her attention to the rice, taking it off the heat and turning off the stove. 

“No. I mean about you. And DYAD. And Leekie.” Cosima sits up on the couch.

She sighs, preparing two plates of food and bringing them over to the dining table, “Sit down and eat something.” 

Cosima comes to the table, taking her fork in her hand she begins to eat for a few moments. Delphine watches the smile spread across her face as she tastes the food, “If you can’t tell me everything at least tell me more about you? Or where you learned to cook.” 

“I learned to cook as a child, it was mandatory at my house. Everyone had to learn to cook.” Delphine smiles at the mental images this brings to mind. She turns her attention to her own plate and begins to eat. 

“Ok. That’s a start.” Cosima nods and pauses to eat herself, “Well I know you left earth when you were fifteen.”

“Yes. I was sent away to school.” This is easy, she can tell her this much. 

“At fifteen? Scary. So your family are they still on earth?” 

“My parents, yes, they are very old now though. It’s awkward. I spent about fifteen years in cryo and --” Delphine hesitates, “It’s strange to see them looking so much older than I remember. We don’t talk often.”

“Fifteen years later you wake up all alone in space.” Cosima looks at her again, almost tenderly, “Must have be lonely.”

“For a time, but I adjusted,” Delphine smiles, “I finished school and became a doctor. I was interested in immunology and that let me to DYAD, I’ve been there ever since. I earned my PhD as an employee. ”  
 “How long ago was that?”

“Been at DYAD five years, my PhD was finished two years ago.” She’s proud of that at least. She’d worked hard for that, regardless of what some of her coworkers would imply.

Cosima’s not done asking questions though, “And the... thing with Leekie?” 

Delphine swallows, taking a long drink of water, “Almost five years.” She answers quietly, willing herself not to cry again. She knows it’s not fair to pretend that it’s not happening, not to someone who’s growing ever closer to her. Regardless, there are some things too difficult to share. 

“You never talk about it, do you? Were you coerced? Does he have something on you?” Cosima’s tilted her head again, reaching a hand across the table intending comfort. 

She’s not blushing but incredibly flustered when she finally says, “It was my choice, at first.” A stupid decision, but it had been hers to make. They sit and eat in silence for several moments. 

Cosima seems to take it in stride, “Ok. That was five years ago. And now?” 

She decides on honesty, “I’ve tried to end it twice.” Leekie knows far too much about her and has far too much power over DYAD as a whole. It’s not time to tell her everything. Not yet. 

She sees something shift on Cosima’s face, wondering for a moment if she’ll dig deeper, try to uncover everything she hides. She wonders for a moment if she’ll let her.

“I’m sorry.” Cosima apologizes and returns her attention to her food. 

“Me too.” She finishes her meal in relative silence. After they finish she takes Cosima’s plate away to the dishwasher with her own, “Go sleep upstairs. I’ll take the other bedroom.”

“You sure?” Cosima glances up the wooden stairs to the loft bedroom.

“Yes.” She’s not sure why she finds herself hovering near the stairs after finishing cleanup. She doesn’t want to leave Cosima alone. She doesn’t want to be without her either, she admits to herself. 

She showers again, scrubbing more enthusiastically at her skin than she’ll want to admit to later. She hesitates at the door of the smaller bedroom, she glances in. It’s as she left it, a small bed and closet. Perfectly serviceable and yet she finds herself climbing the stairs to the loft. 

She notes Cosima sleeping soundly, curled on her side. She changes into pajamas and crawls in beside her and is immediately taken over by exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, it looks like chapters 8 and 9 might get a bit sexy. If you are otherwise enjoying this story and do not want sexy bits in it please let me know... it's not too late for me to stick to my T rating...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't want to read the sexy bit - when they start kissing - best leave when you get uncomfortable.
> 
> T'es un trésor = Tu es un trésor : you're a treasure.

The sun is up long before she is, content to nestle in her bed beside Cosima. She has no intention of getting out of bed until she absolutely must. She’s pressed against her now, front to back, full on spooning her. She can feel every inhale of breath, every movement Cosima makes. Though it becomes quickly obvious once Cosima is awake. 

“You know, if you keep letting me sleep with you, it’s going to give me ideas.” Cosima remarks somewhat casually given the situation.

“Morning.” She mutters sleepily in response shifting back giving Cosima more space.

“I think I’m going to have to tell you that you’re a stealth-cuddler.” Cosima banters affectionately, “You start the night on your own side, but as soon as you’re out you’re pressed tight against me.” She rolls over to face her, practically beaming back.

She laughs, unable to help herself, “I’m sorry.” 

“I’m not.” Cosima sits up, one hand going to tangle in her hair. Delphine feels her breath catch as those same fingers stroke her hair. 

“Cosima.” She breathes, but does not pull away. She’s not even sure what it is, a warning or an invitation. Surely Cosima must be able to sense how drawn she feels to her. 

“Hey. It’s ok. Let’s go get ourselves some breakfast.” Cosima shrugs it off. Sitting up and scooting to the end of the bed. Cosima speaks without looking back at her, “I just want to know. Is it because I’m a clone? Or because I’m a woman?” 

She hesitates before responding, “It’s more complicated then that.” Half the DYAD staff probably already believes that she’s slept with Cosima. Her reputation is likely unsalvageable, unless somehow the rumours have been contained.Telling Cosima that she doesn’t really like sex doesn’t seem like a good idea either. She crawls after her, wrapping her in her arms from behind. She forgets how small she is, she doesn’t seem small when she’s waving her arms in enthusiastic gestures or passionately engaging her on a subject. 

“Have you ever been with a woman?” Cosima changes her tact as she slips from her arms and begins her way down the stairs.

“No. Have you ever been with a man?” She counters back, feeling the question is just as justified. She follows her downstairs. 

Cosima snorts slightly under her breath, “There’s not much I haven’t tried. Yes I’ve been with men. Yes I’ve been with women.” She stops for a moment considering, “Really a lot more into women.” 

She considers this response as Cosima digs in her fridge and cupboards for some sort of a breakfast.

“Are you going to make me breakfast?” 

“Yes. I am.” Cosima grins back. She’s not sure if this is another angle at a gentle seduction or simply Cosima being Cosima. But either way, she doesn’t want to stop it. 

The day passes leisurely, neither one wanting to upset the delicate balance between them. It’s hours before either of them dress. Delphine spends a good part of the day reading on her couch in the sun, feeling it’s warmth through the windows. She’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be planet-side. Cosima’s fallen asleep on the couch beside her, a tablet with some unfamiliar novel displayed still active on her lap. Cosima sleeps a lot, more than expected. It makes her wonder how advanced the autoimmune disease had been before her first treatment. Had she been showing symptoms? How could someone as bright as Cosima not have noticed them? She hadn’t noticed any in the short time they’d spent together. Though if necessary - she could treat her again here. She skims her tablet, finding that the results of Cosima’s full-body scan were not forwarded to her. They should have been. She sighs and places the tablet on the table. There’s nothing that can be done about that now. That will have to wait, assuming she still has a job when she returns. 

Cosima stirs beside her, “Hey.” She greets her with a sleepy smirk.

“You sleep a lot. Are you alright?” Her fingers edge closer towards Cosima’s shoulder, finally making contact with slightly tanned skin. Her own pale hand stands out in contrast.

Cosima shakes her head, “I’m just tired.” She’s smiling at her as she stretches and sits up on the couch. 

She runs her fingers along her shoulder, “Are you hungry, I could make us some dinner.”

Cosima looks at her intently for a moment, “Yeah. Just Delphine - there’s something here. Isn’t there?” 

“Yes.” She answers simply. Is there anything else that be said? Explain the almost magnetic draw Cosima has on her? 

“It’s like you want to. You keep touching me and then... just nothing.” Cosima sighs, “But it’s ok. We can just be friends, if that’s what you want. You’ve already done so much for me.” 

“It’s not enough.” Delphine shakes her head, she cannot free Cosima from DYAD any more than she can extract herself from their clutches. 

“What’s not?”

“You’re exceptional Cosima, you don’t deserve this.” She pauses at the island in her kitchen thinking about what she could make for dinner. There are things she can do for Cosima, make these days or weeks as pleasant as possible. Feed her. Take her to see Merrick and the surrounding area. 

“An exceptional clone?” Cosima offers, some kind of compromise that she should not be making.  
 “An exceptional person.” Delphine responds, opening the fridge and rummaging for various ingredients. She doesn’t have to look over her shoulder to know that Cosima is smiling. 

After dinner she gathers up a large blanket and looks over at Cosima, “Come with me.”

She jumps to her feet like an overexcited child and contentedly follows her out the back door. The night is slightly cool and the sky beginning to fill with stars. It’s breathtaking at night. There’s no city lights here to blot out the stars. Surrounded by trees on all sides Delphine leads Cosima to a small clearing laying out the blanket. Cosima immediately plunks herself down happily patting the spot next to her her. Delphine kneels down beside her.

“This is amazing.” Cosima smiles, “I can almost forget why we’re here.”   
“So can I.” She lays out beside Cosima, she can see the station and a few other colonies from here. Three full moons decorate the horizon. 

“It’s really a beautiful planet for one so close to the inner colonies. Is it a lot like Earth?” Cosima stretches out contentedly on the blanket. 

“Somewhat. Best thing about not being on Earth? No mosquitos.” Delphine sighs, enjoying this. Leda 4 has very few insect species - none of which possess any interest in human beings. The plant species are of course, different, but if she closes her eyes it almost feels the same. 

“It is beautiful.” Cosima admires the stars, her hand inching toward’s Delphine’s own. 

“Cosima?” 

“What?” Cosima turns to look at her, splayed out happily on the blanket.

“Think we can see the same constellations from Earth?” She asks. She’s always looking, even knowing deep down that she cannot find them here.

“They’d look different, too different. We could like make up some new ones.” Cosima leans in closer, too close really. She can’t bring herself to stop her.

“Like what?” She rolls to her side to face Cosima.

Cosima smirks, “Well that one there near the station - that looks kind of like an octopus.” She mimics tentacles with her fingers and points at the cluster of stars.

She giggles, “Une pieurvre? It’s fitting for DYAD.” Too fitting, she knows all too well.

“Mmm French, You should speak it more often. It’s nice.” Cosima turns to face her.

“Few would understand me.” Delphine explains.

“Still, its your first language. I’ve even never heard you use it before. It’s not fair.”

She takes a deep breath, “T’es un trésor, Cosima.” Her fingers find dreadlocks to play with. A hand going to cup her face.

“Careful.” Cosima warns her, “You’ll give me ideas.” But she’s smiling, like she too knows that this is inevitable. They are inevitable. 

“Bon.” She answers. It’s Delphine who leans in, fits her lips against Cosima’s. But this kiss is not like the first, more urgent. She’s forgotten what warmth feels like and she wants it all, immediately. 

She’s hovering over Cosima now, who pulls her down hungrily. There’s no hesitance in either of them now. Her tongue dances out to taste Cosima’s own; who groans into their kiss in response. The sound shudders through Delphine’s body, she feels the heat of arousal settle low in her belly. She laughs into their kiss, it’s been too long. 

It surprises her when she feels strong legs wrap around her waist and drag her down further. She can feel Cosima’s warmth through the thin fabric of their pants. Cosima’s ankles cross somewhere over her ass, pulling her closer. 

“Am I too heavy?” She breathes out, concerned as Cosima pulls her weight more fully on top of her.

“No. You feel amazing. Trust me.” Cosima whispers in her ear before reclaiming her lips. She feels Cosima’s hips roll beneath her as hands slip under her tank top.

“Oh.” She breathes. She cannot deny that it is different than what she’s used to - but it’s getting to her in all the right ways. Cosima’s hands are moving up towards her shoulders, pulling her tank by the hem and pulling it off over her head leaving her bare from the waist up. Her shirt lands somewhere on the grass above Cosima’s head.

“You okay?” Cosima pulls back briefly, checking in. Taking the opportunity to remove her glasses and lay them to the side of the blanket. 

“Yes.” She claims Cosima’s lips again, she lets her hands ride up just slightly under Cosima’s shirt. She strokes the skin she finds there, it’s soft and perfectly human. There’s nothing artificial about Cosima now. She hums in her throat as her lips dip to Cosima’s neck, laying kisses against her gently pulsing throat. She’s wrapped around Delphine, grinding herself upwards. Even through pants she finds herself increasing distracted by the heat radiating off of Cosima, and the responding ache that has begun between her legs. 

She’s rolled to her back somewhat unexpectedly, the world becomes Cosima’s touch and the stars above her head. She’s staring at the stars, the galaxies, thinking of the billions of lives being lived. A hot mouth engulfs a nipple causing her to arch up in response. Her eyes shut, hands flexing on Cosima’s back under her rucked up shirt. She finds herself disengaging by habit alone. Cosima’s hands and mouth are as eager as they are tender on her body. She’s making sounds she’s long forgotten she could make. Moans and whimpering from nothing but kissing and rubbing up against each other like horny adolescents. 

“You still with me?” A hand catches her chin, hazel eyes flying open to meet Cosima’s brown ones, “I don’t want you wandering off here...”

“Yes...” She nods slightly letting a hand stroke lazily down Cosima’s spine, sweat making the thin fabric of the shirt stick slightly to her skin.

Cosima holds her still for a moment, “I want you. But you have to be here with me.” 

“I’m here.” She smiles, meeting her lips. Their kisses grow more urgent, a counterpoint to the insistent throbbing she feels between her legs. Throbbing, the thought makes her laugh again, it’s been so long. 

She presses into Cosima, drawing her down, she can feel Cosima’s hips rolling into her own. A hand finds its way to her ass hauling her in closer, tighter. A thigh nudges her own apart, she pushes down into it, seeking friction. 

“I don’t want to share you.” Cosima murmurs into her skin between kisses that leave her gasping for breath.  
 “Cosima.” The name is drawn from her lips, a moan, a plea. Cosima’s mouth pressed to her sternum, brown eyes never leaving her own. The disadvantage now that she can no longer reach Cosima’s mouth with her own, she contents herself with burying her hands under her shirt, touching skin, needing skin. 

Strong hands find her hips as Cosima slowly, firmly, rocks into her, it shouldn’t be enough. And yet, she’s on the edge - close enough to go over. Her hips take over, moving until her climax overtakes her and she stills, clutching desperately at Cosima’s back with trembling hands. As her body relaxes she finds herself laughing, tears in her eyes. Why had she been afraid of this?

“Already?” Cosima’s voice conveys surprise, “I was trying to tease you.” 

“Oui. Sorry.” Delphine smiles, she’s not really sorry at all, “You feel good.” It’s not much of an explanation but Cosima doesn’t seem to mind. She cups her face in her hands, feeling the softness of her skin, her lips, the roughness of a dread beneath her hands. Partially artificial or not, Cosima couldn’t be more human. 

“Oh I’m not done with you yet.” She whispers. She props her head up with a hand, still mostly on top of her. 

“No?” Her voice is hopeful, wanting more. If they only have a few days, why not spend it like this? Tangled up in the most amazing person she’s ever met. 

Cosima grins, “No, I want us to get undressed and then I’m going to take you again.” Cosima sits up enough to remove her own shirt, and leans back in. She presses their breasts together, a new sensation that has her mind spinning again. 

“Then we fall asleep in a heap?” Delphine jokes, still catching her breath as Cosima reaches for the fly of her pants, she unzips them, laying a kiss under her navel making her intentions quite clear. She squirms from nervousness and desire. It’s been so very long since someone touched her like that. 

Cosima meets her eyes almost impishly, “No... then we go inside. And I take you on your bed. The couch. The floor. All over this cabin of yours. So whenever you come back here, all you see anywhere you look is me taking you.” She’s certain these words are mostly to arouse her, and yet Cosima looks completely sincere. 

“Tu vas me tuer.” She moans in response as her pants and underwear are slipped from her body in one fluid motion. Cosima pulling the fabric off her legs before stopping looking down at her. She’s completely exposed to her, under the light of three moons and a star-filled sky. 

Cosima’s staring at her, all of her, “It’s true then. You’re not modified at all, are you?” Arousal plays across her face as she takes it all in. Mole-dotted skin, freckles, small imperfections and the tuft of curly hair between her thighs. Moles were rare too - she had noticed that in her line of work. 

“Non. Conceived in passion not a lab,” Delphine smiles, for some reason she’s glad of that right now. On her back in the woods, there’s no one to laugh, no one to see her besides Cosima. 

“Beautiful.” She murmurs, slipping down Delphine’s body. She hovers there, staring between her thighs long enough makes her squirm. Cosima nuzzles in playfully making Delphine laugh nervously as she paused to guide Delphine’s bare legs over her shoulders. The intensity and desire is blatant on Cosima’s face, it’s enough to ease her nerves. 

“Yes?” Cosima asks, looking up at her. She nods in response, not trusting her words just now. 

She strokes her fingers across Cosima’s temple, who sighs happily in response, before leaning forward and making contact. She can’t help herself from crying out, she’s still so sensitive. Cosima hums into her, laying gentle kisses against her hot trembling flesh, working her sweetly with lips and tongue. Their eyes lock, and she cannot look away even for a second. There’s no rush here, no half-heartedness, simply desire. 

“Cosima.” She sighs, tangling her fingers in dreads, touching the remaining soft hairs at the back of her neck. Every tiny movement feels magnified, perfect but so intense. Cosima’s making noises into her that make her shake. 

Her hips jerk slightly of their own accord, she tries desperately to hold them still, afraid she’s going to hurt Cosima.

Finally Cosima grabs her hips and physically encourages her to move, to clamp her thighs around her head, follow her instincts. She knows she’s crying now, every rasping breath emerging from her mouth a half-moan. 

She finds herself gasping and clutching at the back of Cosima’s head as her orgasm comes over her, surging up and tensing, it seems to go on forever. Finally, Delphine collapses back on the blanket, breathing heavy. 

She pulls Cosima up to her, gliding her fingers over her arousal covered mouth before kissing her soundly. She reaches for the closure of Cosima’s pants, hands help guide her trembling fingers. The garment finally removed so they’re skin on skin. Cosima pressing into her, holding her. She looks at her, curves and fading tan, hard nipples and small firm breasts, it's all so beautiful. 

“How was that?” Cosima breathes into her ear, drawing her attention back to herself. 

“Oh.” She responds laughing as her hands find the curves of Cosima’s body, marveling at the way they feel against her hands. This all feels right. All feels human. It all feels like... love.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda sexy again. Hope no one minds...

She wakes once again pressed into Cosima, her arm possessively around her back as they slept. This time facing each other and unabashedly naked. They’d stumbled their way back up to the loft bed in the night. It was far more comfortable than sleeping on the ground outside. She props herself up to look at her new lover, lying exposed on the bed. The sun’s been up a while, and through the large windows she can see the forest. If this cottage was anywhere else they’d be exposed to the world right now.

Cosima had been too tired to follow through on her promise last night, but she doesn’t doubt that they’ll manage it in the next day or so. She presses an affectionate kiss to her forehead. She strokes Cosima’s face, there has to be something she can do for her. More than sex and this reprieve.

“Morning.” Cosima stretches and tilts her head back to smile at her, she leans forward to meet her lips. She’s distracted once again. Cosima is so soft under her hands, under her body, it’s completely captivating.

Their kisses are slow, leisurely. Her hand slides down Cosima’s back, pulling her in closer. She can feel Cosima’s heart speeding up as she slides over her. She tastes like sleep... and sex. Her tongue flickers out, sliding into Cosima’s mouth. She cannot stop herself from wanting to tangle her tongue with Cosima’s.

Her tongue is sucked gently, welcomed and desired. It sends an rush of desire shivering down her body. Cosima’s been nothing but giving and generous with her, devoting her energies to pleasing her before taking her up to bed to sleep. The kiss goes on, until Cosima breaks away, leaving open mouthed kisses towards her ear before gently taking her ear lobe between her teeth. She groans openly, feeling Cosima smile into her throat. She wants to know everything. The sounds Cosima makes when she comes. What she tastes like. What she feels like wrapped around her fingers. The thoughts cause a weak throb between her own legs.

“I want to touch you,” She murmurs as she slides a hand down the firm muscles of Cosima’s belly. She feels them quiver as her hand draws closer to the apex of her thighs. “Please?”  Her feverish wanting of Cosima might be sated then, if she gives back, if she pleasures her. 

“I didn’t want to take from you last night,” Cosima says catching her hand, “I think you’ve had enough of that.” Cosima pulls herself upwards just enough to kiss her sweetly.

Her hand is trapped by Cosima’s, pressed against the tangle of hairs above her sex, “And now?” She’s hovering over her now, bodies pressed together.

“Yes.” Cosima guides her hand down, pressing it firmly against her, guiding it’s gentle motions. 

She gasps at the feel of her, hot and slick under her palm, under her fingers. She doesn’t really know what to do, but Cosima moves in to her clumsy movements, guiding her. It seems to be enough at any rate.

She wants to be closer, she leans in to kiss her, moving with her, moaning with her. Cosima’s hand releases hers as her arms move to enfold her closer, so she follows her hips listening to her sounds and sharp intakes of breath. She loses herself in this, in Cosima. Even if it’s not perfect, if she’s not doing it quite right, it’s enough. Every sound emerging from Cosima tells her that much.

She feels messy kisses being placed around her jawline, a free hand claiming her ass. as Cosima begins to move more frantically against her, wanting more. Her fingers slip inside without resistance, Cosima groans low in her throat and arches, pushing her hips up to meet her. She knows somewhere in the back of her mind that it won’t be long now, it won’t take much to push Cosima over the edge.

“Cosima.” She husks into her ear, her voice low and steady, “Ma belle Cosima.”

Her words have the desired effect, Cosima grabs her hard, tensing up and crying out loudly, wordlessly as she shatters under her. Cosima’s lips find hers again in a breathless fumbling kiss. She leans to the side, resting her head on Cosima’s chest, feeling her heart beat frantically against her ribs. She bites her lip, je t'aime, she holds the words back. 

They both lie still for a long while breathing heavy. She can feel Cosima’s hands on her, stroking at her skin lovingly. She cannot meet her eyes right now, not with what she has to do. Her world is falling to shreds and all she wants to do is bury herself in Cosima and stay in this bed until some DYAD lackey shows up to drag her back to reality.

Lying on the loft bed with her eyes shut it hits her. It’s risky, certainly, but there’s a chance. A chance of getting Cosima out of the sector and away from DYAD. It’s career suicide, at the very least, but she has to try.

“Breakfast?” She offers, hopping out of the bed. She doesn’t bother getting dressed, there’s in the middle of nowhere.

“That’d be great.” Cosima stretches, sitting up, “I am going to follow through on my promise to have my way with you all over this cottage. But I’m getting kind of hungry.” Cosima smiles and tilts her head, she must know the effect she has on her. Delphine sighs and begins the descent downstairs. She doesn’t let herself think love. Thinking love will only lead to disaster.

She is most of the way down the stairs when she hears Cosima cough hoarsely, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just years of pot-smoking coming back to haunt me” Cosima waves her off and she finds her way into the kitchen, “I’m just going to take a quick shower.”

She washes her hands before preparing a quick porridge and cutting some fresh fruit into it. She serves breakfast into two bowls and carries them over to the small kitchen table. She reconsiders, and dashes back up the stairs, throwing a light sundress over her body. She runs her fingers through her hair, before sitting down and waiting for Cosima. A plan forming in her mind.

“Hey.” Cosima emerges from the bathroom in a towel, she sits down and begins to eat, “Thanks, it looks good.” Cosima’s let her towel fall open, there’s not much sense in hiding what she’s already seen. And touched she reasons silently, Cosima smiles when she notices her looking.  
 “Least I can do.” She smiles back, reaching across the table to play with Cosima’s fingers while they eat. She has it bad, she knows that much.

“This is probably going to sound kinda lame but meeting you makes this all so worth it.” Cosima’s shaking her head and laughing.

No. Delphine knows that strongly, meeting her was not worth Cosima’s freedom. She smiles at her and doesn’t stop playing with her fingers, but she cannot hide the sad expression that’s spread over her face. They finish eating in silence.

“Ok. New rule.” Cosima declares as she cleans up the kitchen, “We don’t talk about DYAD shit while we’re here. Let’s just enjoy this. Enjoy each other.” She’s practically begging Delphine with her eyes.

“Ok.” Delphine nods, she leans in for a quick kiss before Cosima vanishes up to the loft. It would be beautiful, she muses, to pretend that they have forever.

While Cosima gets dressed she finds a spare tablet around the living room and she commences her plan. She grabs a spare bag from the smaller bedroom and packs a few things. She has it casually around her body when Cosima returns from upstairs, clad in a red sundress, her dreads pulled back in a ponytail.

“I think we need some more supplies.” Delphine surveys the fridge and food supplies. There is enough food, but she has to get Cosima into town somehow. She has to try. At least give Cosima the option and opportunity of escape.

“Yeah. Oh can we get ice cream?” Cosima looks hopeful.  
 “Of course. As long as you don’t expect to find real dairy here I don’t think I’ve had real dairy since I was a little girl.” Delphine laughs, before remembering that Cosima’s probably never had real dairy... luckily she lets it pass.

“Do you ever think about the first colonists? Oh we’re going to space, umm cryo is really going to suck guys. Sorry. Oh and by the way - you’re all going to be vegan.” Cosima giggles as she grabs the cooler and hauls it out to the car. It looks rather large against her slight frame.

“Sometimes.” Delphine smiles following after her, “Though that was before I was born.”   
“And you’re old.” Cosima smirks, sticking out her tongue as she loads the cooler into the small trunk.   Delphine slips into the driver’s seat and waits for Cosima to slide into the car beside her, “I am not that old.” She buckles herself in. She’d forgotten how small this vehicle was, 2 seats and barely enough room for them and their stuff. She should get extra fuel for it as well while they’re in town.

“How old are you?” Cosima shoots over once the drive into Merrick has begun, “I mean with the cryo years added in? Or not. I can add.” Cosima shrugs with more intricate gestures playing out in her fingers.

“I didn’t age. Biologically speaking, I’m about thirty-two.” Delphine glances around before making the turn from the long driveway to the main road. It was the easiest drive ever, two hours on this road until they hit Merrick.

“So, fifteen years in cryo. Forty-seven.” Cosima responds with a tilt of her head and a strange nod.

Delphine winces at the number, “Chronologically, yes. If I’d stayed on Earth I would have been.” That would have been a completely different life. She might have been just a doctor, married, had children... A life without DYAD, she has trouble picturing it. She shakes her head.

“I hope asking this is okay, but how old is Dr. Creepy?” Cosima glances over, watching her expressions shift in response.

Delphine snorts, “If I am old, then he is ancient. He’s been in cryo many times.”

“Like 80s old? 90s? Older?”

“Older probably.” Delphine shrugs, “I’m not permitted access to his file.” She’s always suspected he was among the original colonists to the sector.

“Right. So want to hear more about my dissertation which I’ll likely never finish now?”

“Tell me anything.” She wants to know as much as she can about Cosima before this drive is over. Before Cosima disappears from her life forever.

 

The drive is filled with stories of Cosima’s childhood, involving various colonies and her parents. As well as a few more colourful anecdotes from her university days. When they arrive she parks near the train station. She looks over and digs into her bag. There’s an injection in a cooling tube there - she’ll give that to her as well as a pair of her own ice-blue thermals.

“Here.” Delphine presses a small tablet into her hands.

“What is this?” Cosima’s eyebrows rise, she looks confused.

“Don’t come back with me - take another shuttle- one that stops at the station then continues out of the system. There are tickets here for you- take them, bounce around the core and change ships often. Don’t let them put you in cryo, board waking ships, or cargo vessels. Trade this in for a new one - however and whenever you can. Find ships bound for the outer colonies. Disappear.” Delphine whispers the words. She will face the consequences on her own. Cosima will be free. Or at least have a fighting chance of getting out.

“What about my injections?” Cosima asks as if it hasn’t quite sunk in yet.

“I can get you enough to last a year, maybe.” Delphine tells her apologetically as she passes over her bag into Cosima’s hands. She wishes she could do more. But staying here won’t necessarily extend Cosima’s life. She might be able to find someone who can culture more cells for her, for a fee. “Go, now.” She opens her own door stepping out of the car, waiting for Cosima.

“What about you?” Cosima asks concerned, popping out of her seat and standing close.

“I’ll stay here until my two weeks are up, or until they find me.” Delphine shrugs. There’s not much that can be done about that. Even her plan for Cosima is risky, but if they travel together there is a far greater chance of being caught.

“You’re really doing this,” Cosima shakes her head, “You’re just going to put me on a train and let me go.”

“Yes.” Delphine nods, her hand going to Cosima’s, she gives it a squeeze, for luck she tells herself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. angst and sexy bits ahead.

“No. No way. I can’t just leave you.” Cosima’s gesturing wildly, shaking her head.  

Delphine’s desperate now, “Listen to me, I cannot protect you. Your clone batch was terminated years ago. They could kill you. Experiment on you. Or worse.”

Cosima tipped her head, adjusting her glasses, “What will happen to you?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just, kiss me goodbye and go.” Delphine adds softly.

“No. Not leaving you. It’s not happening.” Cosima answers firmly, “Together or not at all.”

“Traveling with me would guarantee you get caught. I’m chipped, remember? The second I get on a shuttle they’ll know.” Delphine’s shaking her head now. Not once did she even consider that Cosima would refuse to leave. Maybe, she’s fallen for her too.

“Then I stay. I mean you go back there without me and they’ll probably kill you. Fire you at the very least.” Cosima punctuates the sentence with sweeping gestures, she puts the tablet back on the passenger seat and closes the door.

“It’s possible.” Delphine admits, “Still, if you’re going to go. Go now.” Cosima sighs, looking around awkwardly, there’s no one else around to hear them.

“Not. Happening.” She says clearly, “I’m not leaving you in a giant life-destroying mess and taking off.” She pulls her into a hug, “I’m not going anywhere without you.”

“That isn’t the intelligent decision.” Her words are muffled into Cosima’s head.

Cosima’s hands rub her back, “I know. I don’t care. If you go back with me - there might be some salvaging of your career. We might both live. If I take off and you go back without me; you’re doomed. And not just to questionably consensual sexual liaisons with your creepy boss.”

“And if we’re still doomed?” She asks, a half-laugh in her voice from the word and the ludicrous situation she’s found herself in.  
 “Then we’ll be doomed together.” Cosima responds decisively, “I just found you. If I go...”

“We’d never find each other again.” Delphine answered honestly. There were hundreds of colonies, she would never see Cosima again if she were to go. Unless things went horribly wrong. She presses a kiss to Cosima’s forehead. There’s no one around, Merrick is a sleepy town at the best of times. Though, she wouldn’t really care if there were.

Cosima claims her lips, tugging her head down as an older couple passes by across the street holding hands. There’s no reaction from them, they simply continue on their way to one of the restaurants or boutiques that they were browsing. For all they know - Cosima is just her partner, and they’re just spending a week at their cottage in the middle of nowhere. Here, no one cares. A same-sex couple is a bit more unusual, but nothing they hadn’t seen before in all likelihood.

“Come on, I’ll show you around Merrick.” She slides her arm around Cosima’s waist, who smiles. The bag remains locked in the car.

“What are you going to tell people who ask about me?” Cosima glances over, leaning into her hand as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“I’m going to tell them you’re my partner.” Delphine shrugs, “They don’t really know me around here - I’m only here a few times a year.”

“Do you have anyone in your life who’d notice?” Cosima asks, pausing to glance into the window of a store that was full of natural bath and body products.

Delphine hesitates, “No.” DYAD had been her life more or less. She adored her work, mostly. She had coworkers, colleagues but very few friends.

“Poor you.” Cosima leans in and plants a kiss on her cheek.

She could get used to this, she tells herself. It would be far too easy to fall into this, but maybe it’s alright to pretend. Just for a little while.

They find their way through various shops, they buy very little. They pick up a large container of extra fuel for the vehicle - Delphine dashes back to the car to stick it in the trunk of the tiny two-seater. When she returns Cosima is lining her eyes with one of her new purchases. Using her reflection in a glass window of an antiques shop. It suits her somehow, like this is how Cosima is wherever she’s from.

“You look nice.” She comments, sliding her hand back into Cosima’s.

“Thanks. It’s nice to look like me again, you know?” Cosima grins. “Ooh. Let’s like pick up lunch to go and go picnic somewhere!” Cosima suggests, pulling her into one of the cafés downtown. There are few patrons, mostly of retirement age, sitting around drinking coffee and eating sandwiches.

“Hello,” the owner greets them. An older women with long grey hair tied up on her head, “What can I get for you?’

“Food to go, for a picnic?” Cosima asks politely looking in the glass case near the front at various salads and sandwiches. She’s pointing at what she wants, her other hand tightly laced with Delphine’s.

“Newlyweds?” She smiles knowingly, “I’ll give you a nice deal on it, how about it?” She preps a large paper bag with utensils and napkins. Why correct this assumption? It’s a good enough cover story, Delphine reasons.

“Yes. That would be lovely, thank you.” Delphine answers without thinking, she watching Cosima’s eyes meet her own stunned.

“Merrick is a nice quiet spot for a honeymoon, isn’t it girls?” The woman smiles, loading their food into containers and a large brown paper bag, “Anything else I can get for you? Dessert?”

“Yes, thank you. And it’s been perfect.” Cosima nods, playing along. Delphine pays for the food, using the tablet, and they leave giggling slightly.

“Sorry. I just thought-” 

  
Cosima cuts her off with a kiss, making a brief show of it, “Yeah. No worries. Happy to play along.” She half-skips back to the car before they take off for their picnic. They drive about twenty minutes out of town before stopping near a small lake off the main path to eat their lunch. There was a small rocky beach and a collection of picnic tables. It was most certainly a spot made for tourists. The overcast day, however, saw that they were alone.

“How does this planet manage to be so close to Huxley Station and feel so... perfect?” Cosima asks, after their food has been devoured and they sit on the grass.

“I don’t know. The planet was here first.” Delphine shrugs, taking a long swig from a water bottle. She wasn’t blind to it’s beauty, certainly, but seeing it through Cosima’s eyes made it more so.

“The water is so clear you can see right to the bottom. It’s filled a marvelous diversity of life, including bioluminescent fish. The leaves on some of the trees are all orange and purple and gold. When the sun sets it’s beautiful. Freakishly amazingly beautiful.” Cosima shakes her head, “And I get to spent it next to you. You, who according to local gossip, are my wife.” Cosima continues, “And while I have no memory of marrying you - I don’t seem to have a problem with that.” Cosima pauses to clean up their food containers.

Delphine laughs, “It got us a good deal on lunch.” It’s enough of an explanation. She glances up at the clouds, growing darker. She means to warn Cosima to get back to the car, but is quickly distracted by her lovely face.

Cosima leans back teasing, “Still, you’ve gone from ‘never been with a woman’ to ‘fake-married’ to one within twenty-four hours. How does it feel Dr. Cormier?”

She stifles a laugh against her hand, she lays back for a moment, just looking at her, “Feels good.”

Cosima glances over at her mischievously, “Would you let me take you here? Out where anyone could see us?” Cosima’s voice goes low, her eyes drifting down Delphine’s sundress. She feels herself flushing and also aroused by Cosima’s words.

She answers with a kiss, her lips mercilessly attacking Cosima’s, pulling her down on top of her, “Prends-moi.” She mumbles between kisses. If Cosima’s determined to stay and doom herself she doesn’t intend to waste a minute of this.

She’s rolling her hips pointlessly up into Cosima, but for the moment she can’t bring herself to care. She’s only known her for six days - not even a week - but she knows she cannot easily go back to life without her. Not when it feels like this.

She feels the rain, first a light misting and then a cold torrential downpour. It’s impossible to ignore, Cosima may be taking the brunt of it but it’s far too cold to continue.

“Shit.” Cosima breaks away and laughs into her shoulder, clambering to her feet and offering a hand to help Delphine up. She nearly slips on the muddy ground getting to her feet.

“Come on.” She grabs Cosima by the hand and they run back to the small parking area climbing into the car. When the doors slam shut on either side of the vehicles they look at each other breathlessly.

“It’s a shame there’s no backseat.” Cosima comments glancing back, “I guess we’ll have to take the long drive back to your cabin to warm up.” Delphine feels her face flush slightly with the implication of Cosima’s words.

The drive is cold, and they’re both soaked through. Cosima keeps her entertained with stupid jokes and anecdotes. She finds herself laughing even as she’s shivering in the driver’s seat.  
 They finally arrive back at the cabin, “It’s not too late, you know.” Delphine finds her eyes drifting towards the small pre-packed bag, “I could drive you back, if you want me to.”

“We’ve been through this. No.” Cosima leads her from the car, getting soaked again in the process, until they’re shivering on the deck as Delphine taps the key code. They enter, throwing off clothes until they’re naked. Soaked clothes litter the floor while Cosima leaves her glasses on the kitchen table. Leaving wet footprints on the laminate flooring as they make their way back to the bathroom. She makes a mental note to clean up later.  
 “You can take the first shower,” Delphine instructs grabbing a towel to wrap around herself. She leans against her washing machine waiting, beginning to towel off her hair.

“Uh, I kinda thought you were coming in with me.” Cosima turns on the water, her expression making it clear what she expects.

“It’s too small.” Delphine shakes her head, glancing at her small corner shower stall.

“We’ll fit,” Cosima assures her, stepping into the small shower stall and waiting expectantly until Delphine tosses off her towel and joins her. It’s a tight squeeze, but they both fit.

She finds herself resting in Cosima’s embrace under the hot steady stream of water. There’s not much room - but there’s just enough for the two of them to squeeze in together. She sighs audibly, drawing Cosima closer to herself. Her hands slip down Cosima‘s body, she finds herself admiring her. How slippery her skin is under her hands, how she pushes herself in to mould her body against Delphine’s own. How was she ever going to want anything else after this? They’re both rapidly warmed by the water and each other. It’s a shame, she thinks, that the shower is so small.

“You still could go.” She murmurs, “Anytime.” She lays kisses against her neck. She watches water droplets bead on Cosima’s skin. Cosima’s hands pause in their achingly slow journey up her ass. It feels electric, desire pooling at the apex of her thighs.

Cosima looks over at her again, considering her response, “I’m not leaving. I don’t want to leave you. And I don’t think I’ll live without treatment.” She shakes her head, wet dreadlocks hitting her skin rhythmically.

“What do you mean?” Delphine finds herself gripping her new lover more tightly to her.

“I mean I’m sick. And I knew it when I came here.” Cosima admits.

Her head spins, she pulls back to look at her, “No. You would have noticed. You’d have seen the symptoms and gotten checked out.” Unless that is what brought Cosima to DYAD in the first place, that is possible Delphine notes to herself.   
Cosima swallows, “Let’s go talk out of the shower.” She switches off the water and swings the shower door open haphazardly, before grabbing a large white towel and tossing a second back at her.

She wraps herself in the towel, they make their way to the couch and sit down. She doesn’t care about the wet footprints on the floor, or the fact her windows are not currently tinted and anyone could see in. Would the cabin have looked empty enough? Would they guess?

Though glancing outside she notices a second set of muddy tire tracks larger than those made by their rental vehicle, “Someone was here.” She points through the window.

“Looks like they left before we got back though. So that’s good.” Cosima glances out noting that those tracks extend further up the drive than the car.

“We may have gotten very lucky being out when we were.” Delphine shakes these thoughts off, “What do you mean you knew you were sick?”

Cosima eyes her cautiously considering, “At first I just though, damn I’m smoking too much. Which honestly, very possible,” She pauses looking sheepish, “So I cut back on the pot-smoking, got a vapourizer - but it was still happening, I was still coughing up blood. I gave a blood sample to my friend to research what the hell was happening -- that’s when they found me and brought me in.”

“Why not see a doctor?” Delphine is incredulous, shaking her head. Any physician would have sent her in for tests, and probably eventually sent her to DYAD...

“My parents weren’t big on doctors- for obvious reasons. Besides I was in a science lab on Eos with a bunch of grad student geeks. I might as well get something out of it.” Cosima shrugs.

“So when you came to DYAD...” Delphine’s trying to piece things together though she’s unsure if she has all the information.

“Well, I knew I was sick obviously. And DYAD’s got brilliant medical research. And luckily for me, they also have you.” Cosima’s fingers are playing with her own again.

She smiles unable to help herself, “I can give you another stem cell injection in a few days. It should help.” She strokes Cosima’s face. She wants that full-body scan, but it will have to wait. There is no way she’s setting foot back on that station until her two weeks are up. Least not voluntarily.

“I can think of something else that might help.” Cosima slides closer, dropping her towel open. Her body is still wet, but she doesn’t care. She finds herself giggling as Cosima reaches for her own tossing it open and sliding close so they’re skin on skin. Cosima leans in all the way only to lay a quick kiss on her nose.

“This is not going to help with autoimmune disorders,” She shoots Cosima a look, but waits. Anything you want, she thinks, whenever you want.

Delphine meets her lips, not forcefully, but tenderly. She doesn’t taste blood, not now - but perhaps she will before this is all over. Her hands skim Cosima’s skin, up from her hips to her breasts. The feel of hard nipples against her hands is addictive. She skims her palms over Cosima’s breasts again, moaning as she goes.

Cosima shifts forward, on top of her settling between her legs, “Talk to me. Tell me something. Anything.” She pleads hands going to Delphine’s waist, her thighs.

“In French?” Delphine breathes leaning in for another kiss. They’re both dripping wet, she can feel that much.

“Yeah.” Cosima’s breathes ghosting her lips along her cheek.

“C’est le coup de foudre, toi et moi.” She whispers into Cosima’s ear. There are benefits, she reflects, to having a lover who does not understand her first language. Loving Cosima this much this quickly doesn’t seem possible. And yet...

“What does that mean?” Cosima’s lips move down her neck as she gently pushes Delphine back on the couch, moving her breasts out of range of Delphine’s wandering hands.

She hesitates a moment before responding, “On va faire l’amour toute la nuit et toute la journée.” She’s fairly certain Cosima does not truly understand what she has said, but she moans in response anyways, burying her face in Delphine’s chest.

“You’re so cute.” Cosima murmurs into her skin, lips entrapping a pert pink nipple between them. She presses herself up into Cosima’s mouth in response, she’s aching for her.

Delphine groans as she feels Cosima’s fingers inch their way up her thigh slowly, too slowly. She tries to tempt Cosima’s lips back to her own, without success. She’ll meet her eyes, but her mouth won’t budge. She must be able to feel her frustration, or at least her copious arousal.

“Cosima...” She begs writhing in an attempt to speed things up. But Cosima’s fingers are sliding up her thigh at a frustratingly glacial pace.

“Mmm?” Cosima hums her response, between long suckling kisses placed against her flesh. She’s kissing hard enough to leave marks on her, but she cannot bring herself to care.

“I want you inside me.” No sooner has she said it than Cosima’s fingers slide into her without preamble. She groans in response, moving in counterpoint to Cosima’s steady movements. They writhe together on the couch, communication in steady moans and gasping breaths. In the slide of Cosima’s body against her own, damp and now slick with sweat and arousal. The rain continues to pour outside, pounding against the windows as Cosima takes her, slow and steady on the couch.

She’s lost in this now, her hand reaching up to cup Cosima’s face, whatever she can reach of it, “Mon amour.” She feels Cosima smile into her skin, she understands that much. She hadn’t meant to say that, she bites her lip against further words rushing out in the heat of passion.

“You’re mine, not his.” Cosima moans into her chest, her movements becoming harder, more desperate. She can see a large dark hickey blooming on the side of her breast. Cosima’s claiming her, she realizes through the haze of arousal.

“La tienne.” She agrees, her voice little more than a needy whimper, finally pulling Cosima to her mouth to swallow her cries as she shudders out her climax.

They lay together on the couch for long moments, feeling her heart beating wildly against her ribs as she comes down from her high.

“So good.” Cosima smiles contentedly down at her, “I’m sorry about what I said. It just sorta came out.”

“It’s alright.” She strokes Cosima’s face, “It happens.” Maybe they’re both holding back, afraid of what happens after.

 “What does ‘coup de foudre’ mean?” Cosima props herself up on her arm, still hovering over Delphine.

She smiles nervously, “Literally a bolt of lightning.”

“So when you say we’re a ‘coup de foudre’, we’re like lightning?” Cosima’s face is bemused. She pushes herself up off of the couch and gets to her feet. Offering her hand to Delphine. They leave the towels there and wet clothing on the floor.

“Sort of. It’s an expression - doesn’t really exist in English. It’s like the French version of love at first sight.” She says this all really quickly, get the words out and over with as soon as possible. She takes Cosima’s hand and gets to her feet, Cosima’s leading her up to the loft and its comfy bed. Her steps are a little shaky, but she follows regardless.

“So kinda like us, right?” Cosima says without glancing back at her.

“Yes.” Delphine agrees, “Very much like us.”


	11. Chapter 11

When they arrive back at the station eleven days later, they are quickly separated by guards. They’d barely disembarked before they were set in on by a swarm of large guards. She was correct, they’d been waiting for her shuttle, flagged by the fact it was her chip purchasing the tickets. The steady stream of passengers spreads out, she can hear whispering but it doesn’t really matter. Not now.

Delphine is escorted away from the docking area by two guards. She glances back at Cosima, stuck with a guard of her own. They will have to let this play out.

“Where are you taking me?” She asks clearly. Neither guard seems to have any intention of responding to her. She knows the station well enough to be aware that it appears she is be escorted back to her quarters.  
 When the lift doesn’t stop it becomes apparent she is being taken directly to Dr. Leekie.  
The guards pause at the door, waiting for her to buzz for entry, she hesitates causing one of the guards to do so for her.

“Step inside Dr. Cormier.” The taller guard instructs her. She steps into Leekie’s quarters. They’re empty. She glances in further, the door’s shut behind her. There’s no doubt that they are waiting outside. She finally settles on sitting at the table. Is he with Cosima now? Are they simply making her wait to allow her time to stew? Or to make her nervous?

She drums her fingers on the edge of the table. He of course keeps her waiting. Her mind wanders back to Cosima. Where is she now? Would she ever see her again? She’s genuinely concerned for Cosima, what would they do to her? As much as she loved her, she was still her patient. Cosima coughed up blood, slept far too much and should be tested and treated immediately. She suspects they’ll require a more aggressive treatment.

When Dr. Leekie finally enters, still clad in his lab coat and uniform, that is where her mind is.

She launches in without hesitation, “324b21 is showing advanced symptoms: fatigue, coughing up blood. I believe her autoimmune disease has spread beyond what I’ve seen before. I will need access to her full-body scan so we can devise a new treatment plan.” It comes out in a rush and feels silly in hindsight, she’s probably in terrible trouble and is acting as if everything is normal. As if she’s still the good pet. Her hand goes unconsciously to her breast. Under her thermals and civvies there’s another mark left by Cosima, as soon as the first hickey began to fade, she’d made a point to leave another, and then another.

“Interesting way to begin this conversation Delphine. You stole one of our subjects, took her off the station and on the run. You weren’t at the condo, or your shack in the middle of nowhere."

“I couldn’t. Your wife was at the condo.” She’s not sure if this is true, she’d only met Mrs. Leekie once or twice and knew that she preferred their larger home in the suburbs to the condo. It’s the first excuse to come to mind.

“How would you know that if you never set foot in it?” Aldous gives her a look, “It just happens, however, that you are right. So where were you?”

“My house.” Delphine answers honestly.

“We sent someone to that shack of yours, they informed me it was empty - looked like you’d stayed there one night and then took off.” Leekie reaches for his own pocket, producing an active recording device.

“They were wrong. We were out getting supplies in Merrick.” Delphine cannot see the advantage of lying now.

Leekie hesitates, “You’ll be brought in front of the Ethics Review Board. Tomorrow.” He sits down across from her, a brief illusion of equality.

“For kidnapping a subject?” Delphine hesitates before adding, “Or sleeping with her?”

Leekie shakes his head smiling, “Both, of course.”

“What about her health?”

“324b21’s? She was already dying when she arrived. I’ve seen her scan- don’t forget. It would drain substantial resources to treat her effectively.” Leekie says this all very calmly. He pulls a small tablet from his pocket, laying it on the table. It’s a lie, treating Cosima would cost them very little of their billions.

“You’re going to have her killed.” Delphine breathes out, she closes her eyes, she doesn’t want to cry. Not here, not in front of him.

“I am not going to have her killed. I don’t have to do anything. She’s dying quite well on her own. Unless we choose to intervene for the health of a clone who belongs to a terminated batch.” His fingers swipe across the screen, bringing up a small holographic image of Cosima’s full body scan.

“It’s spread to her lungs.” Delphine sniffs slightly, the hologram highlights the diseased parts of Cosima’s body. Uterus filled with growths, underdeveloped ovaries, she wonders if it causes Cosima pain. Could she do something about it?

“Yes. Polyps on the lungs, the autoimmune disease spreading around her body unchecked. It’s interesting actually, I’ve never seen it this advanced before. It may be worthwhile allowing the disease to take it’s natural course. For scientific study.” Aldous leans back on his heels, a hand going to his chin as he makes a show of reflecting on the options.

Delphine interrupts, “Or we could treat her. Even grow her new lungs. I know we’ve kept frozen embryonic tissue from her clone batch. It would take a couple months, but if we begin immediately there should be enough time.”

“And why would I do that?” Leekie turns off the hologram, standing close to her.

“I will pay for Cosima’s treatment.” Her savings account is substantial enough that she can afford to do that, at least in part.

“No. You won’t. Cosima is DYAD’s property and responsibility. If we choose to extend her life then it’s DYAD that will absorb the costs.” Extend, he makes it sound as if Cosima is already old, and perhaps to DYAD she is.

“Then what? What do you want?” She’s sick of this game, let him make his demands and have in with it.  

“I’m sure there are things you can do for me in return.” Leekie stands to look down at her intently. For a moment she’s in disbelief that he’s probably going to let her off the hook.

Delphine shakes her head, she knows him too well, “I’m still menstruating, will be for another couple of days.” He won’t touch her when she’s bleeding, five years has taught her that much. Cosima doesn’t care, the thought brings a smile to her face. She’s brought back to the present by a voice interrupting her reminiscing.

“Well,” Leekie pauses, “I’m actually looking for a different kind of favour.”

Delphine shakes her head, slipping off her chair on to her knees, “That’s it?” This is getting ridiculous she tells herself.

“Ah there’s actually something else,” Dr Leekie approaches her smiling, “You’re fertile, you still have your cycles - why not let us use your ova. You’re not doing anything with them.”

“For what?” Delphine exclaims looking up at him annoyed.

“New project, we’re designing telepaths for a private contractor. The embryos would have multiple genetic parents, we’re just asking for you to provide ova and some genetic material. Mostly we’re using the very intuitive and intelligent. And you’re unaltered- an advantage for this project.”

“No.” She answers without thinking shaking her head.

“Why? You don’t have to carry the subjects to term.” Leekie pauses, his hand reaching to cup her face, “Unless of course you want to have some embryos made for your own use. Maybe this is just... a denied maternal instinct getting out of hand?”

“I will not have your child.” She answers, she’s told him this before, the first time shortly after she first arrived here - to which he reassured her that he was sterilized like the rest of the male workers. He’d always had the habit of calling for her during ovulation, it used to make her nervous. There had been no exception to the rule made for him, even if he was the scientific director of DYAD. Five years of sharing his bed had proven that much, he had always refused barriers and she had never conceived.

He sighs, “I never said it had to be mine. Just think about it.”

She directs her attention back to her greatest concern, “What about Cosima? What will happen to her?” She’s practically begging now.

“You want to remain her physician? You want to keep her? Consider my offer. I can have a reproductive endocrinologist take a look at you later today, we can have the embryos made in a couple of weeks.”

“Alright.” She agrees nodding, whatever it takes.

A few hours later she finds herself in Dr. Li’s office being probed and scanned herself. The same guards accompany her, standing on either side of the door. The glass dividers tinted for her privacy. She did not enjoy these exams, and not only because she was mostly naked.

“No previous pregnancies?” Dr. Li smiles at her, all violet eyes and cheery beside manner as she palpates for her uterus before reaching for a hand held scanning device.

“No. None.” She answers, eyes tightly shut lying back on the table, feet in stirrups.

“And you’ve been through cryo but still have regular menstrual cycles?” Dr. Li asks, using a hand scanner to probe the area.

“Yes. I was fifteen at the time, young enough or lucky enough that my body adjusted afterwards. Least that’s what they told me.” Her eyes open, she stares at the boring grey ceiling.

Dr. Li continues either unable to read the tone in her voice or not caring, “It shouldn’t be a problem then everything looks normal, we’ll start you on injectables in a few days, we want multiple follicles maturing and then the ova will be extracted when you reach ovulation. You’ll be monitored closely, of course. I will carry out the procedure myself. Although you can do your injections yourself, I’ll show you how to do the first one here.”

“Alright.” She nods consent, as if she had any other choice.

“And Dr. Leekie was telling me you wanted an embryo or two made for your own use? Would you like to look at a list of genetic modifications we can make?”

“Leave it unaltered.” She answers, sitting up and crossing her legs in a likely pointless show of modesty.

“You sure you want to leave that much up to chance? You have a lot of moles Dr. Cormier - and vanity modifications are not that expensive. I’ll have the list sent to you for you to look over. Just let me know what you want. and I’ll order it.” Dr. Li eyes her shaking her head in disbelief. She removes her gloves and immediately moves to the sink to wash her hands.

 

Delphine dresses and is escorted back to quarters. Cosima is right, it is sterile and cold here. She showers and collapses into her empty bed in her thermals. Where is Cosima? What have they done with her? Exhaustion eventually takes her over and she sleeps.

Aldous is the one to wake her in the morning, standing ominously in her quarters, having let himself in.

“Aldous?” She asks sleepily, rising from her bed and reaching for her uniform and labcoat. She dresses quickly, not caring if he’s watching her.

“Your hearing is in twenty minutes. I will accompany you.” He waits by the door.

“Alright.” Delphine

“Lie.” He advises her.

“I took Cosima off the station and to my house planetside. There’s not a way to hide that.” Delphine shakes her head moving towards the door of her quarters.

Aldous catches her shoulder firmly, “No. You never slept with her. Understood?”

She’s escorted to the lift and then to blue sector, presumably they’ll be meeting in one of the committee rooms. Guards flanking them on either side until they arrive at the grey sliding door of the largest meeting room in DYAD.  
 She’s escorted in to a plain metal chair facing a table full of her peers and colleagues. She recognizes several doctors as well as a collection of DYAD board members, recognizable by their expensive civilian clothes.

The chairman is old, and picking at his teeth absentmindedly as she sits down and observes the recording devices turned on.

“Dr. Delphine Cormier. You have stolen a subject from DYAD’s grey sector and took her to Leda 4 for a period of thirteen days before returning her to the station.”

“Yes.” Delphine answers. She faces their stares head on, what else can she do. Though she doesn’t see how she can get out of this one. Why would they believe her?

“You also engaged in sexual relations with your subject who I am informed is a human clone.” The chairperson states this as if his dentures are coming loose.

“May I interrupt?” Dr. Leekie places his own recording device on the table.

“Certainly Dr. Leekie.” A professional looking woman at the back nods her head in assent.

“324b21 is a sentient subject, from an earlier batch - recently brought back into DYAD. She has made her own testimony which I have recorded here.”   
The chairman interjects, “The clone is not a human - has no place giving testimony for this hearing. Summarize it for us, leave the evidence with us to look at later.”

“The subject has stated that Dr. Cormier never touched her sexually. In addition, Dr. Cormier has never engaged in homoerotic sexual activity, and to the best of my knowledge, it does not interest her.”

Delphine bites her lip. “324b21 is sentient, I just wanted to help her.” Delphine is well aware she’s a terrible liar, hopefully she will not have to say more.

“Your concern is misplaced.” The severe looking woman from the back of the room responds, “She was a subject of research that you were conducting. You obviously got too close, even if beastiality was not occurring, it is terribly inappropriate behaviour.”

“Do you have anything else to say for yourself?” Leekie glances at her but she only shakes her head in response.

“Dr. Cormier - your medical license is to be suspended for a period of two months at which time this committee will reconvene to assess your progress. You are removed from any medical tasks beginning immediately. You removed permanently from the Gemini Project, however you may continue to work in research in another part of DYAD. You will have no access to grey sector or the clones in the future. Is this understood?”

“Yes.” Delphine nods, throat burning slightly. She will live, for now, but what will happen to Cosima?

“You are free to go, Aldous have her escorted back to quarters while we go over the evidence.” The woman speaks again.

“Yes, of course, Dr. Cormier.” He addresses her formally, seeing her from the room back to the lift.

“Why did you lie for me?” She whispers once they are far enough away that the committee could not possibly overhear them.

“We all make mistakes Dr. Cormier, I suggest you take the next two months to think about what you really want from your career. I can make room for you on the telepath project, or perhaps the transgenic experiments. All embryonic subjects - of course.”

Delphine closes her eyes as she steps on to the lift, “What have you done to Cosima?” She has to know, she cannot just pretend this has never happened. The doors slide shut between them.


	12. Chapter 12

No one will tell her anything, it seems. It has been a week since her review, and since the last time she saw Cosima. She fixes her lab coat absentmindedly on route to the research lab. 

She’s fallen back into her old routine, other than her visits for injectable fertility drugs, after it was decided that they did not trust her enough to perform her own injections. She rarely visited the cinemas or other recreational zones, but found herself increasingly drawn there needing the distraction of the excited energy of other station inhabitants. 

“Dr. Cormier.” She’s greeted by her new tech who’s seemingly lost in genetic test results. She knows what they’re from - the telepath project - the other five parents of the prospective subjects. Although, there is likely a sample of her DNA in there as well.

“Are the results looking normal?” She checks in before turning to her own work, the planned alterations to the genome - she’s agreed to look them over. 

“I think so,” He answers, “I think they’re all unaltered humans though which is strange.” The young man makes a face expecting a reaction from her. 

“Necessary. We don’t want any modifications being passed down unless they are made by the genetic engineers for the project.” Delphine brushes off the tech’s concerns.

“But they’ll be all-”

“They are going to be telepaths not models.” Delphine says through gritted teeth picking up her work and moving to another work station. The prototypes wouldn’t be given extra modifications, especially if they left her in charge. Gestational parents have already been selected, these children would be experiments but also human - each would be unique. It will be captivating work, creating embryos with 4 or 5 genetic parents. It would be a more interesting experiment if she knew that they would not be hers. At least in part. She tried not to think about these telepaths as children, if she focused on them solely as embryos that would be easier. 

“Delphine.” Dr. Leekie waves her over from across the room. 

She walks over quickly, “Yes?”

“Follow me.” Leekie leads on, it takes her several minutes of trailing behind him in the halls to realize that they are headed to the full body cryo unit. The doors open, the entry room isn’t so terrible, there are large windows showing the inside of the freezer where various individuals rest in cryogenic storage. The oblong stainless steel coffins show little of their contents, a largish window for the face of each occupant isn’t much use when they are frosted over. They are all labelled and monitored, though at present the lab is empty. She hates it here, she crosses her arms, though in her thermals she’s rarely cold. 

“Are you having me put into cryo?” Delphine is shaking her head, no that doesn’t make sense. She can see the doors to the waking rooms - where thawing would take place. They’re all empty now. 

“I simply wanted to talk privately, it’s not busy here this time of day.” 

“And?” Delphine moves across the room putting physical distance between them. 

“How are your follicles progressing?” Leekie asks absentmindedly as he glances at the work terminals, observing something she cannot make out from this angle. 

“Dr. Li tells me that it looks like there will be ten or eleven, but they are days away from releasing ova.” She has reached a new level of awkwardness at work, that much is certain. Fertility drugs have side effects and she has not been enjoying the sensation of being bloated and nauseous. 

Leekie’s glancing down at the tablet, likely confirming what she just told him from other sources, “Good. Good. Six of those will go to the telepath project, the remaining few you may do what you like with.” 

“I’ve selected a donor from the gene bank. My embryos will be put in frozen storage.” She informs him. That decision has been made and she will be observing closely to ensure that no one interferes or uses the wrong sample. 

“Fine. It’s odd really... the death rate in cryo is so low and yet I still manage to do the viability checks myself.” Leekie shakes his head with a small laugh. 

“Are you putting yourself back in?” Delphine can’t deny her curiosity there.

“I was going to - your little rebellious phase has set my timeline back - I’ll be putting myself back in after your next hearing. Impress me - and I will leave you in charge of telepath project, should help to rebuild your reputation.”

Delphine’s interest is peaked, “How long this time?”

“Six months. I would enjoy skipping most of your pregnancy if you don’t mind. We will of course provide you with a generous paid maternity leave.” Leekie scans through a few more files, “All still viable. Guess it’s a lucky day, I won’t have to send any of our popsicles to the incinerator. Medical transfers coming in tomorrow though. It will be a busy day for us then.” 

“Hmmm.” Delphine has nothing to add to this conversation. Aldous has long been aware of her dislike of cryo, “Why are we really here?” 

“324b21 was put into cryo after being debriefed upon her arrival.” He states this as though he is telling her what he had for lunch. 

“This isn’t fair. I took Cosima off the station. She doesn’t need to be punished.” Sterile, cold cryo - Cosima would hate that, it made her more of an object than ever. 

“I am not sure what to do with her honestly.” Leekie shrugs. 

“You mean hold her over my head like some kind of threat.” Or bribe, Delphine adds silently to herself.

“She’s alive.” Leekie points out, “And likely to stay that way for the time being.”  
 It’s not a lie, in cryo Cosima is still technically alive. Even her disease is frozen in it’s course of destroying her body from the inside out. Is there anything she can do? Delphine runs through options and scenarios before being distracted again.

“Anyways, there is going to be a gala on the station in few weeks, around the time of your hearing. You are to accompany me -- the room will be heated more than usual so select appropriate attire in advance. Excellent work so far Dr. Cormier - the telepath project was a good choice for you.”

“It is a little difficult for me to be uninvested as you’re determined to use my ova.” 

“It will look good to the committee, I assure you. Very devoted to your work. I expect to see more of the same.” Leekie nods before stepping out - on his way to monitor some other DYAD initiative. 

She glances through the viewing window, wondering which tube contains Cosima, when it hits her. She pulls her tablet from her pocket and begins a message to Dr. Li. Perhaps there is something she can do after all. 

A few days later she endures the egg retrieval, whatever anesthetic they’d given her was unable to prevent the sensation that she’d been hit by a small moving vehicle in the midsection when she comes to. Her feet are still up in stirrups, and other than a medical gown she’s entirely naked. “How did it go?” She finds herself asking, trying to quell the nausea she feels. She smells vomit and wonders if they’d had this conversation before. Her memory is likely effected by the drugs as well.

“Don’t you remember? I just told you. 9 ova extracted, it went very well. ” Dr. Li commented, “You may continue to feel some discomfort for several days though the bloating should be relieved somewhat. Some of my patients inform me it feels like they’ve been boxing.”

“Sounds about right.” Delphine answers groggily. More like a punching bag really. 

“I’ve already had six transferred to Dr. Leekie for the telepath project, the remaining three are sitting in a petrie dish being fertilized as we speak. I’ll have them frozen for you, we can do a frozen embryo transfer when you’re ready. Unless you change your mind on my recommended alterations. But Dr. Leekie informs me of a gala and your hearing, so it can wait until that’s done.” Dr. Li says this all very fast.

“Is it possible-”

“To get more painkillers? Absolutely. Just wait for the last one I gave you to kick in.” Dr Li turns to examine the petrie dish. “Hmm for a defrosted old sample it seems to be doing just fine. Though I suspect that’s what you had to choose from? Older samples just sitting in our gene bank?”

“Yes.” Delphine answers simply, “Though I did have a few options.” She does not feel like having this conversation now, not while her head is so cloudy. She fully intends on examining her embryos later to ensure they are exactly as they should be, and her plans not overruled by someone else while she’s recovering. “Did you give me morphine?” She recognizes that sensation, even though it’s been years. 

“Yes.” 

“Merde...” She shuts her eyes her head spinning, it could be days before she has the capacity to work again. She begins to suspect she’s also been sedated. The world is feeling very hazy and her eyes shut against her best efforts to remain awake. 

Delphine dreams of hands stroking her face, and hazel eyes behind glasses. She reaches up to cup Cosima’s smiling face in her hands, any contact, any little touch would be enough.

When the meds wear off she becomes aware that she’s been transported back to her quarters, though is unaware how said transfer took place. They hadn’t bothered to dress her, had simply wrapped her in a large thermal blanket and placed her, burrito-style, on to her bed. 

“Allo?” Words come in French first now, and will until her head feels clear again. 

There’s no response, no lights left active, no dark shadow hovering near her bed. She’s very much alone now. The feeling of taking a few too many hits to her stomach has faded somewhat, but there appears to be painkillers left on her beside table. No doubt milder than the morphine they’d given her earlier. She swallows one tablet quickly, tipping her head back to take the pill without water. She pushes herself up, knowing it will get easier and she has to see, she has to get a good look at herself to see what they’ve done. 

She stands to go shower, throwing off the blanket - the lights activate on their own. Her legs are steady enough as she enters the shower stall and activates the spray. She examines herself best she can- she doesn’t trust them for a minute. But it seems they’d done nothing surgical, nothing aside from the egg retrieval she’d agreed to. 

She closes her eyes remembering the dream, remembering Cosima with her hands ghosting down her body, the look on her face when she touched her, her own helpless longing. She can picture Cosima so clearly, damp dreads and smiling but when she opens her eyes she’s alone again.


	13. Chapter 13

The ballroom had been heated far beyond regulation, although she’s grateful as her black dress is showing off more flesh than usual. She glances around at the various corporate representatives, foreign dignitaries and scientists that had filled the room. She’s sat through various speeches and presentations, the well-catered dinner and now cocktails. Half the attendees are trying to convince the other half to invest in their research or purchase their services. Alcohol consumption seems to speed this process up considerably. 

She takes a long drink of her own wine, there’s not much to say - she’d participated in several conversations of her latest project but Leekie was heading it up. Aldous, of course, was at the centre of everything. He waved her over - the doctor he was speaking to was familiar to her, but she could not remember the man’s name.

“Ah, Dr. Cormier, Alan and I were just discussing your work on the telepath project. Well and my scheduled cryogenics tomorrow.”

“Delphine,” The man, Alan, greets her politely. Shaking her hand, “I was informed that you were suspended, it seems I was mistaken.” She cannot remember where the man is from, she’s met so many scientists and doctors over the years. She’s fairly certain he hails from another branch of DYAD, in the core colonies. 

“No no... Well no longer, the hearing was yesterday and her medical license was restored.” Leekie waves it off, “But you need to see our early results from the telepath project.” 

Alan is eyeing her curiously, the hearing had done little to stop the rumours, “Oh?”

“It’s quite promising, all six embryos have been implanted or sent to be implanted - now we wait to see.” Delphine glosses over the project, the various modifications done in an attempt to create telepaths. She leaves out, of course, that each would carry a piece of her own DNA. Effectively blurring the lines between scientist and subject, being compensated financially for her ‘donation’ did little to correct that. A few only carried the mitochondrial DNA from the use of her ova, but the others... 

“Will they be fertile? Your telepaths?” Alan looks from Leekie to Delphine.

“I assume so, We weren’t going to modify them with the autoimmune issues of other projects. The clients were very specific on what they required. If the subjects show the ideal signs in early childhood we will be making more in about three years.” Leekie nods, pleased with the project, “It could revolutionize law, business negotiations, everything.” 

“Not a long wait.” Alan comments, “Though perfect timing for you, as Aldous tells me you’ll be taking parental leave sometime next year.”

“She’s been scheduled in for tomorrow with Dr. Li.” Aldous comments, nonchalantly. It’s not a request. Dr. Li is somewhere around this party as well, likely recruiting new clients for herself. Advertising their more commercial enterprise of genetic engineering with her own modified features and her thorough presentation. 

Delphine smiles and nods, the frozen embryo transfer had not yet been done. They’d scheduled her and she’d cancelled once already. The five day blastocysts remained frozen. Although she’s not happy with the artificial hormones she’s been taking, she plays along. She’s unsure how to answer for a moment, “Assuming it takes.” 

She wasn’t sure how much longer she could resist the pressure to have the transfer done. The way Aldous is looking at her clearly communicates his annoyance, she half-expects him to insist on observing the transfer before allowing himself to be put into cryo tomorrow morning. 

“Ah yes, I remember when my wife had hers done - we had a three month wait. But you have to have it done, you know? Otherwise who knows what you’ll end up with. We wanted our son’s modifications adjusted several times before we were satisfied. It was worth it, he’s exactly the child we planned. I can’t imagine how the lower classes handle random reproduction.” Alan shudders for emphasis, “Have you done the work yourself then? Or one of the genetic engineers here?” He looks from Aldous to Delphine, making assumptions from whatever he’s heard about them. 

Leekie brushes off the subject, “Oh they’re Delphine’s, not mine. Anyways, have I introduced you to Dr. Aznov? He’s heading up our latest transgenic project.” Leekie guides the man off elsewhere, keen to make the introductions before he’s put back in cryo tomorrow. She takes no joy in it, not this time. There’s too much to be done. 

She leaves the party early, taking a thick thermal shawl to keep herself warm. She heads to the full-body cryo unit. She hates it. She hates the sounds the patients make when they’re taken out of cryo. She hates the way the frost blocks their faces from view when she enters the room where they are stored. And she hates that Cosima is among them, has been for over two months. No one had bothered to remove her clearance for accessing cryo storage- it was relevant to her new duties and Aldous knew full well that she hated it. It’s quiet now, no thawing during formal events. 

She enters the code to access the freezer room. It’s not truly a freezer, the tubes themselves are sufficient for keeping patients frozen. Though without her thermals it is substantially colder, she finds Cosima easily - she’d managed to match dates and times with ID numbers and extrapolate from there. She wasn’t stored under 324b21, but under Z-243. He’d hidden her in plain sight, and not very well at that. Almost as if he was taunting her with Cosima. That she could know exactly where she is, and be unable to do anything about it. 

Morning will bring her transfer and the beginning of six months in cryo for Aldous. It’s perfect, she reasons, to begin now. She accesses the information terminal, scanning through the inventory of viable individuals held in cryo. There are varied amounts of information on each patient, some have been in cryo for a very long time. 

She finds the electronic forms easily. Some for transfer off the station, others for change in status. She begins filling out the form- Z-243, status: deceased, transfer to: incinerator. She enters Leekie’s passcode, not her own. Aldous really should have made an effort to conceal his codes more effectively. When she finishes, she looks over the forms once more before submitting it. Cryo tube Z-243 is scheduled for the incinerator, due to the small viability failure rate in cryogenic preservation. 

“Soon, mon amour.” She whispers to an empty room, “Je te promets.” Delphine quickly finished the forms and heads back to her quarters. She’s aware she should sleep but her mind continues to race through scenarios, various results of the actions she’s taken. There’s no way to tell at this point, whether or not she sleeps. 

Delphine tosses and turns half the night but in the morning she reports to Dr. Li for her frozen embryo transfer. She’s well aware that Dr. Leekie is informed as soon as the procedure is completed, before she’s even released. It was nothing like the extraction, uncomfortable but not awful. She was conscious the entire time and even able to certify that the embryos being implanted were exactly what they were supposed to be, to Dr. Li’s annoyance and frustration. 

“Two embryos successfully transferred. Now we wait and see.” Dr Li said with false cheer. She’d never gotten over the refusal of genetic alterations to the embryos. She seemed to take it as a personal slight. 

“Two? I agreed to have one transferred. Not two.” Delphine begins to sit up, an unwise initial reaction. She gets stuck for a moment but pulls her legs from the stirrups and hops down off the table. She’s cramping slightly but nothing that will stop her from continuing on with her day.

“The chances of them both taking are small, Dr. Cormier. And I was instructed to transfer two to increase chances of success. The third is still in storage for you - if we need it.”

She doesn’t have to ask who decided this would be the course of action. After dressing, she runs to the cryo lab and barges into the freezing room to find Aldous getting undressed to be put in, the metallic tube already laid out for him. The sight of the transparent purplish freezing gel makes her nauseous, for a moment she’d forgotten why she avoided this.

Dr. Simms, the elderly anesthesiologist, looks at her in vague surprise as he preps the sedative solution. He’s not used to seeing her much, although occasionally he has sedated subjects for her in the past. 

“Yes Delphine? I’m a little busy right now. Aren’t you supposed to be off today?” Leekie climbs in to the cryo tub, gel moulding to his body - a port for the sedative had already been inserted into his arm which he holds out to Dr. Simms.  
 “Is there a problem Dr. Cormier?” Dr Simms jumps in, “I am going to sedate Aldous shortly, whatever you have to say I suggest you spit it out.”

“Why two? I agreed to one transfer. I went along with it - I took the fertility drugs Dr. Li wanted me to...” She doesn’t bother explaining, he’ll know what she’s saying. She cannot go into this, she wanted them frozen; in storage. 

Leekie responds tiredly inserting his own nasal tubes, “Increased chances of success. Besides, it’s not like you’re keeping them frozen forever.. Motherhood should keep you busy and give you a more appropriate target for all that love of yours.” He waves his free hand dismissively before sinking further into the cryo gel. 

Delphine says nothing, Dr Sims connects the port to the sedative tube, “Anything else Dr. Cormier.”

“No.” Delphine shakes her head.

“When I wake up in about six months, I hope to find you pregnant and productively working in research. Until then.” Leekie closes his eyes. She’ll never understand how anyone can be so calm being put into cryo. She leaves before the process becomes painful - she can hear something from one of the thawing rooms - from the sounds of it a very angry man being taken out of cryo. Delphine cannot stand it any longer, she leaves the full body cryo unit as quickly as she can.

With Leekie out of the way, it is time to act before his replacement - whoever it ends up being - begins keeping tabs on her. The smaller lab is busy today, various scientists and techs working on samples.

Delphine skims the database to locate her remaining embryo - with the goal of transferring it to a portable tank. She cannot say that that she is truly surprised when she’s in the process of gloving up to move her embryo to the compatible tank that she discovers records of other ova removed from her body. There’s no notes as to what they were used for, only that there were ten more taken from her than they’d told her. She covers her face with her hands for a moment, letting it sink in. Did they extract them to sell? Human ova were a valuable enough commodity, or was this something more sinister? Either way - there’s no telling what happened to them and she does not have time to investigate. She cannot allow herself to be distracted by this. She finishes her task and returns to her quarters, samples in tow.

She has some more leave coming up, she books passage on a large passenger vessel, a waking vessel, headed for the core planets. Multiple stops and a multitude of people. She’s in the middle of packing her belongings before she’s disturbed again. The door buzzes, no one comes here. Aldous is in cryo... she runs through other possibilities on route to her door. 

“Dr. Simms?” She’s surprised to find him at her quarters, she was fairly certain he usually did not notice that she existed. She’s careful to stand to block the view into her quarters, hiding the small cryo transport tank and her half-packed luggage. 

“I heard your... friend died. I’m sorry. I thought you should know.” Dr. Simms presses something into her hands. 

He had always been a strange man, Delphine blinks at him in shock, “What?” 

“I was the one who put her under, you know.” He shuffles his feet outside her door, “Even then she was cracking jokes.” 

“That’s Cosima.” Delphine shakes her head. She can picture it so clearly.

“She was, in my belief, completely sentient.” Dr. Simms doesn’t follow this up with any conversation, simply shrugs and walks away. What else is there to say?

She glances down to find herself holding a pair of glasses, Cosima’s glasses from her personal effects. She bites her lip, clutching the glasses in her fingers.

She approaches the communications panel in her quarters, she enters the contact information for the vessel, “Oneid Waking Vessels, How may I help you?” 

“Hello, I will be traveling on your vessel departing this evening - but I have some unusual cargo.” Delphine begins uncertain of how this exchange will go. 

“Nothing is unusual with DYAD.” The young woman answers back, Delphine cannot help noticing that her eyes are an inhuman gold. 

“Medical transfer, patient in cryo - going to the DYAD facility on Ai for experimental surgery. I will be accompanying the patient. I want to be sure that it’s scheduled to be brought on board.”

“Can you send me the forms?” The young woman pauses checking through, “Seems Dr. Aldous Leekie has already cleared the tube for transport. I have a record of that tube already in our cargo bay. Is there anything else?”   
“Excellent. I do have other medical samples- I will be bringing them on board myself,” Delphine answers, “Thank you very much.” She should have time to swing by the other lab after packing. See what she can discover what was done from the files before heading out. 

“You’re very welcome Dr. Cormier. And thank you for choosing to travel with Oneid Waking Vessels.” The com cuts out, her quarters are as dreary as ever. She won’t miss this place. 

She rolls Cosima’s glasses up in a spare pair of thermals and tucks them into her luggage. She takes her time packing, she doesn’t want to miss anything she will need. Either way, there will be no coming back from this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never intended this story to get this long. Really sorry... gahh it's long.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me - if anyone is still reading this. By the way? I really enjoy comments and feedback.


	14. Chapter 14

The ship is called the Star’s Lady. It’s luxury, rotating sections providing gravity, private suites of varying sizes, and enough trivial amusements to keep the travelers amused on their four week journey across the central core, where colonies are most closely spaced together. She’s seen six films, two concerts and attended several theatric performances in an attempt to amuse and distract herself over the last couple of weeks. The passengers are largely wealthy - traveling this way is far more expensive than traveling in cryogenic storage bays on sleeper ships. 

Delphine sits at a restaurant alone, a few young men have tried to pick her up in the last couple of weeks, but nothing of interest had come of it. Some of them she considers very handsome, but of course they’ve been genetically engineered. Perhaps even by DYAD. In her thermals and warmer civilian clothes they cannot tell that she isn’t. If they knew they’d probably run screaming, she finds herself laughing into her soda. She’s been counting the days since they departed Huxley station, plotting her next move. It would not be long now until they arrived at Ai Station. Changing the designation of Cosima’s cryo tube had almost been too easy, it made her nervous, it seems that no one realized that it had been her, not Aldous who cleared the tube for transport. And of course, believing Aldous had had Cosima’s tube incinerated would stop others from seeking it out, though few had the security clearance to do so. 

Is it wrong what’s she has chosen to do? She’s not even sure. Delphine has long been aware that samples from the ‘parents’ of the clones were sometimes available and no one had stopped her from selecting a clone’s ‘father’, as her sperm donor. Even Aldous hadn’t noticed - too preoccupied with other projects to care which sample she used.

Dr. Li had not, of course, made the connection. She simply mixed the gametes and froze the resulting blastocysts, though she had made comments on how Delphine should really consider genetic modification before it was too late. She’d managed to pull the third embryo still frozen but was unable to test any of them against Cosima before having to make the decision to implant. The third embryo was below decks now, frozen alongside the patient she was determined to treat with it. Please let it be compatible. Let them all be compatible... She’s slightly late, but her stress levels are certainly high enough to account for that on their own. She’d spent most of the journey in a state of panic.

She thinks of the cryo tube stowed safely below deck, this ship would be a poor choice to thaw Cosima on, she’ll have to wait. But she’s running out of time... the cells would start to differentiate, assuming it took. She has a few of the clone stem cell injections, but wonders if they’ll be enough to hold off the disease a bit longer. Long enough, perhaps, to engineer stem cells into something useful. 

Her hand drops to her belly, if the IVF was successful she was carrying a possible match for her Cosima. A partial-match anyways, if she was lucky. A plethora of compatible stem cells either to be used immediately if she could secure a termination in time or cord blood if she carried to term. Though, Delphine wasn’t sure Cosima could last that long... She hadn’t altered the embryos, though she finds herself wondering would the child resemble Cosima if she had it? Them? She finds herself smiling at the thought before pushing it to the back of her mind. 

Biologically the child would be Cosima’s half-sibling, would she have to tell Cosima where she got the cells? She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that Cosima would not approve of creating a prospective new life, or taking one, to preserve her own. She shakes her head to clear her thoughts, she faces the large window in front of her. Other passengers seem uninterested for now, chatting with their families or travel companions. 

She glanced around semi-nervously, there was no way of accessing the cryo tube until they docked - it was in her custody and they would release it to her once she disembarked. Though she must prevent it from actually entering another DYAD facility. At least Ai’s facility was only on the surface, certainly they couldn’t load up a cryo tube they had no documentation regarding. 

Many ships went through the station orbiting Ai, certainly she could make them find there way onto a more appropriate vessel. A voice comes over the loudspeaker, announcing in several languages that they will be docking at Ai’s station in just over an hour. She returns to her room to gather her belongings, the large hub the perfect place to get lost. The planet below was one of the most urbanized and industrial that she’d ever seen. 

Ai Station is as unlike Huxley as it can be. It’s nearly twice the size for one thing, the metallic rotating sections the only similarity. Where Huxley is grey, drab and uniform, Ai is bursting with life despite it’s large military presence. Vendors hawk their wares nearly everywhere. It’s a transport hub mainly, few live aboard the station permanently, though renting a room is cheap enough if she decides she needs a layover. The people around her are varied in appearance and in status. It’s the perfect place to get lost. 

Her bags are around her - the cryo tube sits briefly in a large, paid for, storage locker, if the dockworker found her request unusual he did his best to hide it. There’s a well-stocked spacious clinic on the upper section of the station but she heads directly for the dingy one on the lower level, luggage in tow.

A bored nurse sits on the table filing his nails as the receptionist sorts through the complaints of the waiting patients. She doesn’t look too wealthy, she hopes. She glances at families, parents holding crying babies and maintenance staff with small lacerations. There are a handful of other nurses - she sees them taking patients from the waiting area back to cubicles.  
 “Name?” The receptionist waves her over to sign her in. 

“Delphine.” She gives her first name only along with a look that tells them it is the only name they will get from her.

“Why do you need to see the doctor?” The receptionist glances at her, looking for some obvious sign of injury or disease. 

Delphine holds out her hand, “I have a chip, I need it removed and destroyed.”

“I can go off break for that,” the nurse hops off the table, “We may have a buyer for it, if we can wipe it clean - you interested in selling?”

Delphine nods her head and follows the nurse to the small cubicle, he sits her down and scans for the chip - finding it easily.

“Oh that’s an easy one - I can get it out quick - but if you want me to numb your hand I’ll have to get the doctor, just to approve use of the numbing agent. It’ll be an hours wait, at least, we have more pressing cases.” The nurse said prodding her hand and reaching for a scalpel anticipating her answer, he holds her arm down with his free hand.

“Just cut it out quickly.” Delphine watches the scalpel cut shallowly across her hand revealing the small metallic chip in a tiny silicone membrane. She feels it of course, but manages to hold still. 

“Woah.” The nurse plucks it out with tweezers, “Where are you from?” He examines the chip, he can tell, no doubt - that she is from some organization with funding he can only dream of for his public health clinic. He places it to the side of her hand staring down at his new treasure.

“Doesn’t matter. I won’t be going back.” Delphine answers as the nurse begins to suture her hand. Real stitches, she’s used them herself several times, depending on the procedure. Though she wonders what she was expecting going here. 

“You need to transfer funds off this thing? I know a guy - but I want a cut.” The nurse eyes her more carefully trying to assess whatever situation brought her here. 

“Yes. If it can be done immediately.” Delphine glances around lowering her voice, “How long would it take to have a pregnancy test done?”

The nurse’s eyes widen, he was not expecting that question, “At least two hours - we’ll have to collect blood and then the doctor does the test... And as I said before - more pressing cases. I mean we could scan you - but once again - limited resources. ” The nurse shoots her a sheepish smile. 

“No time. I can live without knowing.” She decides, “Can you download the funds to this.” She produces a tablet from her pocket - purchased on route of course.

“Yeah. I can do that now.” The nurse grins, “Care to donate to our humble clinic?” He asks as he finishes suturing her hand. It’s only two stitches and should heal up relatively quickly. 

Delphine nods in agreement, “Take a quarter of whatever is on there.”

“Lady, what kind of trouble are you in?” The nurse eyes her with a sense of wonderment playing across his face - but he does as he’s told and lets her go when he’s finished. Her bags have been left mercifully untouched, though she suspects that has more to do with the receptionist watching them like a hawk. 

 

She gets back to the docking area - viewing the various ships for travel. The sleeper ships are ruled out, luxury liners would be too easily traced. She eyes the small list of cargo vessels - and heads towards the workers preparing the cargo to be loaded on one. It’s mostly cargo here, and few passengers who have decided to brave the cheaper option out of the core... They almost always have cold storage on these vessels, that’s not the issue. But which ship to board? A few people mill around between the ships, seemingly trying to make the same decision as her. 

“Headed for the outer colonies?” A large man with greying dark hair and a reddish beard surprises her by turning around as she approaches. He’s surveying his cargo manifest, surrounded by large pile of boxes and metallic crates. 

“Yes.” Delphine looks up surprised. No doubt he’s taken stock of the large duffle bag around her body and her suitcase trailing behind her. 

“Which one? We’re going out past Alida, Echo 3, Ilia and then on along that way - making plenty of stops too.” 

Delphine considers, “Haven’t decided yet.” It’s an honest response at any rate. 

“You know it’s a long trip, months,” He emphasizes, “But then, you might be like some I get in - hate the cryo, or want kids too much to risk it. Can’t afford those waking cruises? Me neither! You travel with us? You get your own room - shared kitchen facilities and washrooms. Nothing fancy. You’ll be living on rations like us once the good food runs out - though we restock at every stop. Plenty of storage for whatever you’re carrying. We may ask you to pitch in a bit, moving crates, keeping the place clean. I charge a monthly rate, you pay me for every month you stay on board. Fair?”

“I have some, delicate cargo, in storage locker M2-31.” Delphine looks at him, “I need to ensure that it is brought on board. I will also need access to it during the voyage.”

“I’m Sam,” The man introduces himself, “I’ll send one of the boys to get it- maybe two of them?”

“Two and a hover cart.” Delphine answers, she knows how heavy cryo tubes can be,

“Just the matter of payment then - anything else I should know?’

Delphine shakes her head, “I have some ... medical samples that need cold storage.” She doesn’t want to explain anymore, not about Cosima, the injections, her last frozen embryo - she just wants to get on with this before she is followed. It would be very easy to have a DYAD lackey up from the surface - the sooner the better.  
 “We got cold storage. With a freezer. Warm storage is really more of a problem in space.” Sam nods his head at her, “I’ll fetch your special cargo personally and Odie here will talk to you about payment.”

Delphine produces the small tablet, she pays for the first three months - a reasonable rate- considering she will be awake the entire trip. Odie is a younger man, and the way he’s eyeing her makes her feel increasingly uncomfortable. He doesn’t talk much though, simply stands around scowling at the boxes until his boss returns.  
 When Sam returns with the tube on the hover cart his only words to her are, “This is going to cost you extra. Popsicle or not - this guy is an extra passenger,” He pauses to address Odie, “Load this in cargo 1 - she said she wants access to it in flight. She has stuff for the freezer too - make sure that gets in quickly.”

“Fine.” Delphine will pay triple if they’ll only load Cosima on board. She’s waved on board with her cargo and led through various cargo holds to the living areas of the ship. It’s old, she can tell that much from looking at it - but seems solid enough. 

She meets the crew - smallish, only seven people. She’s the only passenger at the moment, though judging from their comments they’ve had many others. She quickly learns that Tasha and Val are the pilots, both pleasant enough - if exceedingly competitive with one another . Odie is the mechanic, along with whatever other tasks need to be done, Yulia - Sam’s wife and navigator is also on board, she also serves as medic though Delphine doubts the woman has had any medical training in her life. She’s not entirely sure what the other two men do - both spend most of their time wandering the ship. She doesn’t even catch their names, though it becomes apparent that they are responsible for a variety of tasks including loading and unloading of cargo. 

She feels the clamps unlock from the station - the jerk of the ship isn’t something that can be missed. She might actually get away with this. Yulia shows her to her room before excusing herself to take care of some business in the control room. There are six rooms that are seemingly set aside for passengers. It’s a small distance away from the crew quarters, so she’ll have plenty of privacy. At least for now. 

The room is small, a double bed and storage space for her belongings, Val’s offered her the tour - and she accepts. Leaving her suitcases here - she’s been assured no one will tamper with her things in cargo one; she’s certainly paying enough to ensure that remains the case.

Val yammers on as she shows her around, “We don’t have much: a gym, small entertainment room - we can watch vids and stuff. Then the common area and kitchen; you best stick to those parts of the station. Don’t go wandering into the control room or engine rooms - you’ll just get in the way...”

“Alright.” Delphine nods, glancing around. It soon becomes apparent that Val is a talker, and that she’s not truly paying attention to what the other woman is saying. 

“Course, Tasha’s his daughter so Sam’s bound to say that she’s his favourite pilot. Kid’s a hotshot though.” Val chuckles pointing in the vague direction of what she assumes is the cockpit. 

“Pardon?” Delphine has definitely missed something.

“Oh don’t worry. It’s a long trip. I’m sure you’ll get to know all of us a little too well.” Val giggles, “It’s an interesting trip though. Meet lots of people, see lots of things. Anyways, I should get some sleep - always has to be a pilot on, right?”

“Of course.” Delphine settles herself in at the table, she picks at some food knowing she should get some sleep herself. A complication to her plan hits her. Cosima is in cryo, and although the tubes have all the equipment necessary to thaw their occupants, minus the sedation, there is no one here to thaw Cosima but Delphine herself. She won’t do it now, she should wait until they are at least several weeks out, but eventually it will fall to her...

Memories of strange hands pulling her from purple cryo gel fill her mind. Delphine clearly recalls the overwhelming stinging, burning pain of it before the doctors had realized their mistake and found that they had not connected the port in her arm to their sedation solution properly. Of course it had taken them until they realized that their young patient was screaming, or trying to, more than normal. She remembers puking on the floor as one of the doctors pulled back her hair - they’d laid her on a slanted table and let her thaw, naked, exposed and alone in space for the first time in her life. They’d examined her, it was part of the procedure, but it had seemed much more frightening at the time. Almost as if they had forgotten that they were thawing a child. They’d commented on her as if she wasn’t there, unaltered girl from the Earth, adolescent. The memories blurred somewhat after that as the sedation finally kicked in. She’d woken up hours later completely disoriented, unexpectedly dressed in thermals and very much alone. 

She buries her face in her hands on the table. There’s no time or equipment to determine if there is currently a mass of cells in her uterus differentiating away from the stem cells she wanted, never mind terminate. She’s running out of time.


	15. Chapter 15

Several weeks pass - they stop off at several other smaller space stations - including one Delphine remembers from before she joined DYAD, but she remains on board the cargo vessel. She pays Val to pick her up supplies - mostly fresh produce; and hides in her quarters until loading and unloading has been completed. 

Other passengers have joined their crew: a single man looking rather worse for wear and a haggard looking woman with two small children who make excited noises running up and down the common areas of the station. The whir of the engine is a slight hum on most of the ship, it has gone from making her somewhat nervous to practically white noise. She hasn’t seen this much of normal unaltered humans in some time. Slightly asymmetrical features, body hair, moles, birthmarks and and mostly brown eyes. Delphine finds that she is surprised to see children who actually resemble their parents. Things she hasn’t seen since medical school, and mostly long before that. 

Her menses have not arrived, which make her assume the IVF worked, though she cannot be certain. Delphine refuses to count the weeks, or pay overly close attention to her body, she does not want to be certain. She tells herself that she does not really feel any different. Not nauseous, not sick, though the whirring of the engine drove her crazy in the beginning. Every time they dock at a station she has to stop herself from panicking. She says in her quarters until she feels the ship unclamp itself from the dock then rushes to check her precious cargo. Which is always conveniently stowed out of sight when their cargo is loaded or inspected. She’s certainly paying them enough to do so.

As of yet, she’s heard nothing of anyone attempting to follow her. Should she wait? Not wait? She doesn’t particularly like the idea of thawing Cosima if and when she’s noticeably pregnant... But is it too soon? She selfishly longs for Cosima’s company, to see her again, and she may be easier to hide when she’s wandering around. It’s less suspicious to have a passenger than a cryo tube in a cargo ship. Though she will require a warmer room to thaw her in, she has no intention of thawing Cosima in the middle of cargo bay 1.

Delphine hesitates at the entrance to the kitchen, she hears voices talking. It’s not the first time, on small ships the passengers are the most exciting to the crew she supposes. They obviously don’t have enough to do between stops.

“That woman is all kinds of suspicious. Her clothes? That cryo tube Dad won’t let me near?” Tasha shakes her head, she’s sitting on a counter eating fresh fruit like there’s no tomorrow. It may be the last fresh fruit they have in a while so she’s not exactly wrong either. It’s a month until the next colony - assuming ideal travel conditions. 

Odie laughs, it’s an odd sound coming from his throat, “She’s hot... got money to burn too. You think she’s one of those crazy-altered rich kids on escape? Dealing or something?”

Tasha shakes her head, “Not altered - can’t be that rich. Communal bathroom, remember? She’s too old to be a kid. You’re blind and horny. And we’re not perfectly legal ourselves. Not all the time anyways. I don’t care what she’s carrying.” Tasha’s dark hair falls in her face as she sucks the juice of some fruit from her fingers. Odie faces her snacking distractedly on a ration pack. 

Delphine takes this opportunity to enter the kitchen, she’d been intending to eat quickly and then get back to the novel she was reading in her room, alone. 

“Delphine. Odie here wants to know where you’re from.” Tasha hops off the counter. She’s little more than a teenager and it’s more obvious than ever now. 

“Ah, but then I’d have to kill you.” Delphine says rather seriously. Odie simply stares at her, while Tasha laughs it off reaching for another fruit. 

A small scream has her running back into the corridor, breaking whatever tension had arisen in the room. Least if someone is hurt she can finally feel useful. 

It’s one of the little boys - he’s smashed his head into a metal door frame. No doubt he will require stitches. He’s begun to wail unintelligibly. She can see blood gushing from the side of his head. Delphine runs for her medical bag without thinking and rushes back.

His older brother is crying profusely, “I didn’t mean to do it. I promise it was an accident.” Their mother has shown up and is assessing the damage, having pulled her smaller son onto her lap. 

“Let me see,” Delphine places the bag down next to the child and his mother , “I’m a physician.”

The child’s mother eyes her skeptically, but turns her son in her arms. Delphine hadn’t gotten a good look at the child before. He has dark eyes and olive skin, like his mom and brother, but his features remind her of a genetic disorder she once saw in medical textbooks. She’d nearly forgotten those existed in her over-privileged bubble at Huxley Station. Her brow furrows slightly for a moment. The small boy continues to cry.   
 “Trisomy 21. Down’s Syndrome.” The woman states as though she’s used to these kind of unasked questions, “Can you stitch him up? I can hold him still if you need me to.”

“What’s his name?” Delphine asks, reaching in her bag - she has dissolving sutures and it doesn’t seem to be a large cut. She rummages for a basic numbing agent. She’ll have to clean the cut to see how large it actually is, it doesn’t look as bad from up close.

“Hank.” His mother strokes his hair back, “I’m Paloma, and that’s Jack over there.” She points at her older son, who’s calmed somewhat and is watching her bag with great interest.

“Ok Hank, I’m a doctor and I’m going to stitch up your head - just let me numb it first.” Delphine holds up the spray-on numbing agent. She reaches for sterile gauze with her free hand, using it to mop up the area, the cut was small. 

The little boy nods, eyes red from crying, “Okay.” His mother seems pleased if a little surprised by the revelation of her fellow passenger. She applies the numbing agent carefully, this doesn’t look like a difficult job. She digs in her bag again, she’ll have to do this the old fashioned way. But it will work. 

As she sutures the cut, Yulia shows up glancing at Delphine’s bag and equipment and waits there watching her, “So, you’re a doctor.” 

“Yes. I am.” Delphine nods, having finished suturing the child’s cut. “Should heal up fine. Try not to get it wet for a few days.” It was only four stitches at the end - not as horrible as it had looked. 

“I think we can manage that, guys?” Paloma addresses her sons, “Can’t wait until we get to the farm... you can run all you like out there.” She sighs shaking her head. 

Yulia finally speaks, “You know, we’re going have to put you to work now Delphine. Mostly stitches and little things. But I haven’t had a physical in years. Neither has Sam... I’m sure the rest of the crew could do with you having a look at them too. Assuming you have the equipment.” Yulia shrugs, “Might help lower the cost of your trip if you help us out a little.”

“Alright.” Delphine agrees smiling. She can do that. “Although I might ask a favour in return.”

“Does your favour have anything to do with your friend in storage?” Yulia reads the situation correctly. 

“Yes. I want to thaw the cryo tube, but I’ll need a warmer space than the cargo bay - and my room is too small. I also need some sort of sedative or painkiller. I don’t have anything strong enough.” She won’t allow Cosima to be thawed without sedation, or at least painkillers. Even if that means waiting months. 

“Try the small storage area - next to the engine so it’ll be warmer. There’s nothing there really, some spare parts sometimes.” Yulia suggests, “Thaw your.... whatever he is in there?”

She. Cosima is a she. Delphine thinks it, but doesn’t bother correcting her. With Yulia’s help and the hover cart they move the tube to a warmer small room just off the engine. There’s a door with a heavy latch and enough space here to thaw Cosima, though she’ll have to lay her out on the floor after the tube’s thawed enough. They gently guide the tube down horizontally, the frosted window facing them. The whir of the engine is a loud hum here - but she’ll adjust to the sound. 

“I’m going to need blankets, and some kind of sedative or stronger painkiller.” Delphine requests. This isn’t perfect, but it will have to do.   
 Yulia nods, “I’ll bring them for you, just make sure you close the door. Odie’s a good enough mechanic but you don’t want him bothering you during the thawing. I don’t know much about thawing, so you’re going to be on your own.”

“It’s alright. I’ve done this before.” Delphine nods, she looks down at the tube - she reaches for the panel and enters the unlocking code - Leekie’s again of course. She enters the sequence for thawing. It will be an hour before the lid will open, hours before she can touch Cosima again. 

The blankets and painkillers arrive. “I call it ‘knock-out juice’, but it’s a painkiller not really a sedative.” Yulia leaves and shuts the door behind her. 

It doesn’t lock, unfortunately, but hopefully she’ll be left alone. She ends up sitting on her hands for the hour it takes the cryo tube to begin the thawing process - after that she can remove the lid as it comes apart from the rest of the tube and hook the port up to the sedative. She can see Cosima’s face now through the glass window. Pale, colour distorted by the gel, but still that same face. 

She glances down - it’s not especially strong - but it seems Yulia managed to raid some medical supplies from one of the crates in cargo one. It’s a painkiller, not a sedative but it should do - she’ll have to inject the port by hand several times during the process. She repeats the steps to herself, thaw, open, sedate, wait. She readies the syringe and lays it to the side. She lays out the thermal blankets on the floor, several layers of them, creating a nest to continue the thawing once she’s managed to get Cosima out of the tube. 

It’s the longest hour of Delphine’s life. She tries timing it, reading, preparing the syringe of sedative that she will be injecting the port with when she can reach it. She pulls her spare tablet from her bag and reads, medical journals, anything to keep her mind of the thawing, to keep herself from pacing the floor.

Finally, the lid lifts free, practically on it’s own, she searches for the end of the nasal tubes- which she pulls free of the tube and leaves hanging over the side. Ensuring that Cosima will be able to breathe as soon as she begins drawing breath again. She lifts the lid off completely - it’s no longer necessary. It’s odd, she’s sweating and Cosima is so cold...   
 Delphine can see her perfectly now, still, pale, naked and mostly frozen. But alive. Her eyes and throat begin to burn. The nausea that always settles in when she sets eyes on cryo gel arrives, but it doesn’t seem as important right now. She’s crying tears of... relief? She catches sight of the port; in Cosima’s left arm. She’ll have to reach in for it.   
She bites her lip and slides her hand through the freezing cold gel to reach Cosima’s, pulling it close to the surface. It’s still cold enough to make her fingers feel like they are burning. She removes the plug from the port and deftly injects it with painkillers. She wishes she had a sedative, she doesn’t want Cosima to have to remember this, but there’s no way around it. She plugs the port again and lets Cosima’s hand drift slowly back down into the gel. She doesn’t want to pull her out too early, it would be a shock to Cosima’s system. Thawing must be very, very slow. Delphine pauses to sit on her now freezing hand and wait for it to feel warm again before preparing a second syringe and lays it on the ground next to the blanket nest. She lies down herself to wait, wait for the timer in the tube to illuminate it, to alert her that she can remove her patient. She tries reading again but her mind refuses to concentrate, she can see the words blurring slightly. 

It’s too warm this close to the engine. Whatever curiosity she had about why anyone who worked regularly in the engine room neglected to wear thermals was quickly eradicated. She’s left Cosima’s glasses in her room, as well as spare thermals. She strips off her sweater and pants leaving them on the floor. Her boots join them, along with her socks. She settles back down to stare at Cosima before realizing she’s still sweating profusely.   
 The thermals, are however, what keep her warm. She’s not sure she likes the idea of stripping to her underwear in a room that does not lock in close proximity to a man who leers at her whenever they’re in the same room. But desire for comfort wins out, as an added bonus- she can put Cosima in them before they return to her rented room. She can do without thermals, at least for the short walk back to the passenger hold. She glances back at the door - still closed. Delphine reaches for the panel to dim the lights, she doesn’t want Cosima to feel blinded when she finally pulls her out. 

She must have fallen asleep, for when she wakes up the tube behind Cosima is finally illuminated, and when Delphine props herself up she can see Cosima beginning to move, slow, uncoordinated jerky movements. She reaches her hands into the gel, it’s cool but not as painfully cold as earlier. She’s never had to do this alone before and is unsure of how to best extract Cosima single handedly. 

Delphine takes a moment to assess, before opting to sit and straddle the tube, leaning in to reach for Cosima that way. She manages on her second attempt to get her hands under Cosima’s arms and pull her up to a seated position. 

Cosima coughs and takes a loud rasping breathes as soon as she surfaces. Delphine holds her to her mostly bare body with one hand and extracts the nasal tubes with the other - there will be no more use for them now that Cosima has surfaced. She hears those awful noises over the steady hum of the engine, like Cosima’s trying to scream. They always try to scream, it makes her want to cry. She waits it out, biting her lip. 

She feels Cosima shudder, her chilled face pressed against her own warm belly. She ensures her grip on Cosima is secure; she does not want her slipping back under now. She can feel her breath, shaky at first, but gradually coming more and more evenly. She quiets somewhat in Delphine’s arms. She doesn’t care if Cosima’s coughed blood on her, she doesn’t bother checking. She can always clean up later. 

“Cosima you need to try to stand up.” Delphine whispers gently, “Lève-toi.” 

She hears something that sounds like a moan, but nothing coherent, so she waits. Waits until she hears words. She can feel Cosima responding, trying to move her stiff legs. Cosima’s feet are slipping on the bottom of the cryo tube, this is not going to be easy. She helps guide her up as best as she can.

“So warm” The words are mumbled and sound strange, but Cosima’s legs are shakily pushing her up and Delphine stands with her, they are briefly face to face, she cannot resist smiling at Cosima, even looking as disoriented as she does right now.   
 Cosima’s legs give out and quake under her. She sags against Delphine, clinging on as best she can with unsteady limbs that have not been used in months. She manages to guide Cosima down on the nest of blanket, perhaps a little more roughly than she would have liked. She hears more garbled speech from Cosima but cannot make most of it out. She leans over Cosima’s naked form, still shivering slightly, on the blankets. 

She reaches for the port when a cool hand finds her own, grasping it, tensing and relaxing as Cosima relearns how. Or perhaps she’s simply exercising it, ensuring her joints are still working. 

“No.” Garbled as her speech seems, that word is unmistakable. 

“No?” Delphine hesitates, her free hand stroking Cosima’s face. “But for the pain.”

Cosima shakes her head and speaks more, or tries to, it’s largely incomprehensible. Cosima’s not screaming anymore, but certainly she must be uncomfortable, at least. Delphine must give her more pain medication before the last of the previous injection wears off. 

She leans down to kiss Cosima’s cool forehead, “Don’t try to talk, just let me give you something for the pain.” 

“Don’t wanna be numb,” is the only thing Delphine can make out from the sentence that follows, at least she thinks that is what Cosima is trying to say. Cosima’s wet cool arms close around her, drawing her close. She’s warming her with her own body now, Cosima feels icy cold against her own sweaty warm skin but she cannot bring herself to move away. She kisses her cool lips lightly several times before pulling away to just look at her, alive, in her arms, free. The realization sends an excited rush through her body. 

“Je t’aime... I love you.” She whispers, making sure that she is understood. She pauses from being a doctor for a moment, laying extra kisses on Cosima’s forehead, her cheeks, whatever she can reach. This must be what bliss feels like, Delphine thinks, though she has work to do and cannot be distracted from it any longer. 

She’s getting desperate now, “Mon amour, I don’t want you hurting. It’s pain-killers, not sedation. And if you fall asleep, I’ll still be right here.” She attempts to reason with her.

Delphine has a better grip on the port than Cosima does on her hand, but she doesn’t want to struggle with her; she might accidentally pull the port out of Cosima’s arm if she tries. She intends to do that later, numbing the area first before removing it as gently as she can. She lets go of the port and Cosima appears to relax slightly. Cosima is moaning a bit - but not screaming. 

Delphine reaches for the syringe to the side of them and clasps it in her fingers. She could always inject Cosima elsewhere... it would have the same effect. As long as she finds another vein to inject intravenously, she’s contemplating this when Cosima speaks again.

“No...sleeping. Wanna feel you.” Cosima’s speech is getting clearer, more words are recognizable. Or Delphine is becoming more capable at figuring out what’s she’s trying to say. One hand has found the fabric of her underwear, the only barrier between them, and seems to be trying to get them off. Luckily, Cosima’s hands are not as strong and dextrous as usual and she’s having trouble removing the garment. Her limbs are all trembling and spasming, a normal part of the process, but it disturbs Delphine anyways.

The ridiculousness of the situation hits her. Delphine begins giggling, unable to help herself, “Not now. Later, I promise. As many times as you want.” Once you’re fully thawed out and able to become aroused, she adds silently to herself.

“No.” Cosima spits out, her mouth having trouble forming words. More incoherent rambling follows. With her numb tongue and the hum of the engine understanding everything Cosima was attempting to say was difficult. Perhaps it was something else she was trying to say.

“I’ll take it off if you let me inject you, just half...” Delphine holds up the syringe. She takes Cosima’s silence as agreement - just half of the painkiller. She should really have a full dose, but at least it is a start. She injects the port, before recapping the syringe and setting it back to the side.

Cosima relaxes noticeably within minutes, Delphine practically cries in relief before stripping naked as promised. She doesn’t bother to glance back at the door and returns to cuddle Cosima on the floor. Cosima stops moaning and struggling as much, her eyes slowly drift closed. Whether she’s asleep or simply exhausted remains to be seen.

Delphine presses a kiss to her cheek, “Fais dodo.” She whispers as if Cosima were a child. She injects the remaining painkiller and takes the time to remove the port from Cosima’s arm while she’s out - as gently as she can. She reaches for her med-kit to finish the job. It has left a puncture mark, but no permanent damage. It should heal up well. 

If Cosima requires more painkillers she can inject her with them elsewhere now that’s she’s out of the tube. Though this may be enough. She glances back at the metallic coffin - she should be able to sell it. Or at least the gel or salvage it for parts. 

She cuddles close to Cosima, stroking her hair, her face, running her fingers along the lines of her tattoos. Admiring the nautilus shell in all it’s intricacy, the simplicity of the dandelion. She enjoys that she’s warming Cosima with her own body, though the warmth from being so close to the engine likely helps as well.  She doesn’t bother counting the hours now, she knows Cosima’s body is slowly recovering from cryo and she will stir when the painkillers wear off. Cosima seems to drift in and out of consciousness, she makes little noises and cuddles closer to Delphine before dropping off again. She hears Cosima mumbling at her, but it is clear that she is not lucid. And so Delphine waits. 

It is at least two hours before Cosima truly stirs in her arms, her hands wandering more steadily along her body as her eyes flicker open again. 

“You’re here.” Cosima sighs as if she cannot believe it. Her speech is already clearer. 

“I’m here.” She reassures her as they lie tangled in the blanket nest. Cosima’s skin warm to touch now.


	16. Chapter 16

“Where are we?” Cosima finally asks as Delphine’s steady hands dress her in thermals and wrap a blanket around her shoulders. Despite the thawing being complete - it will take several days for Cosima to feel normal again. 

“Cargo vessel. Somewhere out past Echo 4.” Delphine answers, “Any residual numbness? Tingling? Pain?” She guides Cosima’s joints in slow steady movements. They’re both coated slightly in cryo gel, but it is nothing a shower won’t fix. 

“No.” Cosima smiles, “You took good care of me.”

Delphine tugs her own clothes back on and grabs a thermal blanket to wrap around herself on her way back to her room. “Come here, we can’t stay here forever.” She leaves the tube, everything else she’d cleaned up. 

“So we are... close to the engine?” Cosima’s trying to figure out their new situation, her blinks her eyes several times as she’s thinking about it. 

“Yes, they let me use this room to thaw you.” Delphine grabs her med-kit with one hand and wraps the other around Cosima’s waist, knowing that her lover would still be unsteady on her feet for some time.

She guides Cosima back through the ship to the passenger area, it seems the passengers are asleep. She can hear movement from the crew section beyond the shared washrooms, but it doesn’t seem very important right now. 

“It’s an older vessel - independent cargo movers I guess. Are we embarking on our life of crime now?” Cosima jokes, mumbling into her shoulder as she helps guide her steps. She opens the door with one hand and guides Cosima inside with the other. Cosima will need to shower to get all the gel residue off, but that can wait a few minutes anyways. Or until she hears less commotion in the washroom.

The room is small enough that she releases Cosima to stumble her own way to the bed while Delphine packs away her med-kit properly. She does watch Cosima moving, her limbs seem to be recovering well, though she makes a mental note to massage them later. 

“Yes. It’s older but they kind of approached me as a prospective passenger and I decided to take it. It was faster than interviewing all the captains.” Delphine shrugs. It may not have been the right decision, but it had gotten her away from Ai very quickly.

“How did you get away from Huxley Station?” Cosima’s looking at her like she cannot quite believe this new reality. Cosima begins to relax, putting the blanket on the floor and flopping back on the bed in thermals. 

Delphine starts with the most recent, “Leekie put himself into cryo. But the night before he did, I switched the designation on your cryo tube. I made it look like he had you incinerated. I transferred your real tube off the station - and I followed it. The tube was shipped like it was a medical transfer but it was in my custody according to the forms, so they let me take it when we docked at Ai.” She smiles at this, she adjusts her belongings again - she’s digging for those dresses she purchased for Cosima on Huxley Station - should be easy enough to wear those over thermals. Tomorrow she’ll go to cold storage and get one of the clone stem cell injections for Cosima, it should at least work to slow the progress of the disease. 

“Ai? Amazing you didn’t get lost. That place is nuts.” Cosima shakes her head, “It’s huge. And kind of crazy.”   
“Yes. Perfect though, so many ships go through Ai, and I had my chip removed,” Delphine lifts up her hand to display the new-ish scar on her palm, “That is the last place they can trace me to.” Delphine finds the dresses and produces them

“But before that, your hearing... how are you even still a doctor? How long was I in cryo for?” Cosima’s mind must be spinning, for her it would feel like hours since they last saw each other. She almost envied that. 

“You were in cryo for almost four months. Two of those on Huxley Station.” Delphine sits down besides Cosima.

“But your hearing... I mean Leekie interrogated me before he put me in to cryo.” Cosima pauses, “I lied for you. I think he knew the truth though.” 

“I know.” Delphine lies down beside her, “Why?”

“Because I love you.” Cosima admits after a small silence. “And I had to try. Wasn’t sure it would work.” 

“It worked. Leekie wanted something from me. So it worked.” Delphine responds offering a hand to Cosima, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

She escorts Cosima to the shared washroom. It’s a line of metallic sinks, a section of doors leading to toilets and a collection of benches and shower stalls. Cubbies for belongings line the far wall. She strips down, shoving her clothes into a cubby with Cosima’s. Cosima sits on the bench and undresses herself, it takes longer, but Delphine lets her do it. There’s a pile of beige towels on a shelf, and a laundry basket for used towels next to the bench. It’s utilitarian, but perfectly serviceable, as long as one has no excessive need for modesty. 

“Come here.” She turns on the water and beckons to Cosima to join her, finding her way on unsteady legs. The shaded glass door slides shut behind them, it is translucent, but the steam quickly obscures them completely. It is, at the very least, bigger than the shower at her cabin. 

“I feel so floppy.” Cosima laughs in to her shoulder once they’re under the spray. The soap dispenser gets a work out as she washes the residual gel from Cosima’s hair, soaping the dreads and rinsing them out. The soap here, of course, is scentless and leaves no trace on their bodies. The lighting is good at least, she can finally see a small blood smear against her own skin. 

“They’re hard to wash.” Delphine apologizes, distressed by this, what if she’s not washing them properly? She moves on to help wash the rest of Cosima. The gel comes off easily, as it’s designed to. 

“It’s fine, they’re old enough, few years, they won’t come undone.” Cosima gently reassures her, shaking off her silly concern, her own hands going to aid the process. Cosima wipes the blood from Delphine’s abdomen, they clean each other off.

She washes her, unable to stop images that come to mind. Of reaching down and taking her up against the slippery tile wall. Images of having Cosima right here where anyone could walk in. She doesn’t act on them though, that is not the way she wants people to meet Cosima. Though when Cosima pulls her down into a kiss she doesn’t resist, doesn’t do anything except wrap her arms around her and haul her in impossibly closer. Not really thinking, she has Cosima pinned against the wall in seconds, her lips mercilessly, needily attacking Cosima’s. She tastes the faint tang of blood, but doesn’t care. 

“Woah. You’re like desperate.” Cosima gasps breaking the kiss, she doesn’t move to escape though. Even she can tell that they are no longer alone, there’s at least one other person in here. The mood broken, for now. 

Delphine laughs under her breath, “Four months.” They’re nose to nose now, but she doesn’t want to pull away, not for an instant. 

“Yeah right. For me it feels more like... eh 12 hours? Less than a day anyways.” Cosima tilts her head and seems to be playing out the calculation with her fingers. 

A voice calls out an interruption, “Hi Delphine, guess you thawed your friend then? Hi there. Do you want me to pass you some towels?” She glances through the door, dark skin and wild hair. Of course.

Delphine hesitates, “Thank you Val.” She released Cosima and turns off the water, opening the door and using her own body to partially shield Cosima from view.

“Hi. I’m Cosima.” Cosima leans out from behind Delphine and waves before she even has the chance to hand her the towel.

Val smiles back, “Val. Guess you were the special cargo the boss told me about. By the way, Sam wants a word with you - but it can wait until tomorrow morning. And sex in the showers is against the ship’s rules. We actually don’t have many rules, but that’s one. Think it dates back to when all of Sam and Yulia’s kids were still on board. So where are you from Cosima?”

Delphine interrupts, “I think that Cosima and I need to get some sleep. Why don’t you come by tomorrow to show her around?” Why not, Delphine figures, keeping Cosima to herself will only seem more suspicious and won’t prevent some sort of disaster befalling them.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’ve got to get to bed anyways, we pilot in shifts after all.” Val nods. She and Cosima slip from the washroom quickly and back to her rented room. In the corridor she can hear a man muttering to himself. Paloma and her sons seem to be fast asleep. 

Cosima stops in the middle of the room and casts off her thermals before slipping into the bed, “Come on.” She tries to position herself in a sexy fashion but it just makes Delphine laugh. 

“But the thermals, you’ll get cold.” It’s warm enough with the blankets, Delphine supposes, if Cosima hadn’t just come out of cryo. 

“Not if you’re in here with me.” Cosima smirks, tilting her head and patting the blanket. She giggles and strips off her clothes willingly, it’s eager and makes her head spin. Hands finding flesh, her lips on Cosima’s, messily kissing. She pauses to make certain the blankets are pulled up around Cosima’s shoulders, that all the heat they are generating is held in. 

“Are you warm enough?” She breaks the kiss to check on Cosima.

“Mmmm. Fine.” Cosima hums, lips going to Delphine’s neck. She’ll probably mark her up again, but Delphine doesn’t mind. Not when she can feel Cosima’s smooth skin pressing up, shifting over her own like that. She can feel hard nipples brushing up against her skin, hear Cosima’s sweet murmurings. She’ll gladly brave a hundred dirty looks in the morning to have this right now. 

“Cosima.” She groans the name in her throat, tipping her head back offering herself to Cosima. However you want, she thinks.

“Tell me you’ll stay with me.” The words are muffled into her skin, between sharp nips with teeth and soothing tongue. Cosima’s not as steady as she usually is, but it’s enough. More than enough. 

“Je resterai avec toi.” Delphine answers distractedly, hands roaming over Cosima’s body, she wants to feel everything. She sighs at the urgent longing filling her own body, wants Cosima to catch it, want her back just as frantically. She presses closer, grasps at Cosima’s skin more vigorously, clutches her tighter. 

Cosima moans at her words, taking her nipple roughly into her mouth, Delphine cannot stop herself from crying out in... pain? Merde.

“Oh wow, you’re sensitive,” Cosima releases her breast in surprise, “Can I still...y’know?”

“Yes,” Delphine nods, blushing. That is definitely new.

“I’ll be gentle.” She lays delicate kisses against a rosy nipple instead, steadily working her way down. Any touch is intense, but there’s no longer pain, she’s moaning into this, writhing against Cosima. But it’s too damn slow.

“Viens... Come back up here.” Delphine pulls Cosima back up to her lips.

“Why?” Cosima looks at her, before throwing herself into the kiss, sweet and slow this time. She breathes her in. 

“J’ai besoin de toi.... I want you,” She murmurs her response, slipping her hand down between them, palming a breast and playing with a nipple. She doesn’t stop kissing Cosima, touching Cosima, rocking her hips into Cosima. Her hand slips between Cosima’s legs, finding copious slick arousal, the feeling has her smiling into the next kiss.

“Guess this means I’m fully thawed...” Cosima giggles between kisses, pushing her hips into Delphine’s hand.  
For a moment, she’s content to follow Cosima’s lead but, Delphine swears that she can smell her, it changes her plan. She wants to be on top, wants to taste her again. But this wouldn’t be like last time, this time she wouldn’t stop until Cosima trembles after coming in her mouth. Delphine moans at the thought. 

She rolls Cosima over to her back and hurriedly slips down her body, hastily kissing as she goes. Delphine knows that if she takes her time, tries to kiss her body thoroughly, that Cosima will misinterpret that as reluctance and yank her back up. She doesn’t want that to happen again.

Cosima lets her though, groaning and tipping her head back when she realizes what Delphine intends to do. She brushes damp curls out of the way and leans in, her tongue making a first tentative stroke. Cosima’s hips jerk in response and she smiles, her mouth finally making proper contact. Her hands grip jerking hips, pulling her in closer. Delphine doesn’t care that her legs are on the cold floor, or that’s she’s half-hanging off the bed. Cosima’s thrown off the blanket, but she feels warm to touch - this shouldn’t take long anyways. 

Cosima’s hand gently slides into her hair, lightly touching, stroking, “Woah.” Cosima breathes, “You look so enthralled.”

She doesn’t break contact to answer, simply slides her tongue into Cosima, eyes fluttering shut in response. Delphine’s certain she could become addicted to Cosima’s taste: intoxicating, sweet, perfect. She’s well aware of the throb between her own legs, arousal stoked by pleasuring Cosima. 

Delphine moves over her, experimenting with different touches of lips and tongue, addicted to her taste, the exciting little noises she’s making. Cosima is swollen and silky-wet under her mouth, in her mouth. A little faster, a little more pressure - she plays at this, seeing what works, guided by Cosima’s little sounds.  
 Cosima suddenly grabs her hard, tensing completely, forcing her closer. She hears strangled cries, when she opens her eyes she sees that Cosima’s bitten her own free wrist to muffle her cries. She moves up Cosima’s body quickly, she’s cold again. 

“I’m sorry.” Delphine yanks the blankets back up around them, cuddling Cosima close to her own body. She moves to wipe her wet face off on a blanket, but Cosima stops her.

“No. No need.” Cosima pulls her back into a wanton kiss. Sliding cool arms around Delphine’s skin.

“But you’re so cold again.” 

“Totally worth it.” Cosima’s panting and smiling. “So so worth it.” Cosima’s hand is sleepily making it’s way down her body, but her eyes are closing, face betraying her fatigue. 

“It’s ok...” Delphine croons, “If you’re tired, just sleep.” Her lips meet Cosima’s cheek, her forehead. Cosima’s eyes close, she cuddles close, burning yet satisfied. 

After Cosima drifts off, she finally counts the weeks. Six and a half weeks since her frozen embryo transfer, nearly nine since her last period.  
Delphine is not a stupid woman, she knows what this means. How on earth will she explain this to Cosima? She has no clue where to begin. She labels her symptoms, mood-swings, fatigue - internally cataloguing them. 

“Je m’excuse.” She whispers, fingers stroking Cosima’s face, she fits her body as close as she can and finally falls asleep.

A soft knock on the door disturbs her, she pulls on the closest pair of thermals and makes her way to the door. She’s not really tired anymore, she must have gotten enough sleep. 

“Delphine?” 

“Hello Sam.” Delphine sticks her head out the door cautiously. 

“Ah, I’ve got to take a shuttle to the surface tomorrow. No stations out past Echo 3 - so we have to take the shuttles down. Anyways, I want you to stand by, doc, we have a testy customer on Ilia.” Sam makes a small hand gesture that reminds her vaguely of a gun. It makes her stomach drop. 

“Don’t get shot.” Delphine advises him, “I am not a trauma surgeon.”

“Noted.” Sam nods, “I have to go load up a hover cart and get packed. Keep your schedule open.”

“Alright.” Delphine agrees, “Did Yulia tell you?”

“You thawed your girl? Yeah she mentioned it. So did Odie and Val. Gossip travels very fast on this ship. I’m raising your rate for travel, we’ll talk later.” And with that Sam lumbers his way out of the corridor and back to work. 

She fumbles her way back into her room, searching for Cosima’s glasses in her luggage. She leaves them on the night table before stepping into the corridor. Delphine sits outside the door, head in her hands. What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank ourfauxpas from tumblr for reading through this story to help me go back and correct small errors. (Unfortunately I'm both writing and going back and editing at the same time...)


	17. Chapter 17

Delphine returns to the room to tug on civvies as Cosima stirs slightly, she lays out thermals and a dress for her on the end of the bed. She glances at the sleeping Cosima, sticking a hand under the blankets to check that she was still warm.

Satisfied that Cosima is warm enough, Delphine goes to wash her face, splash some water on it. She showers again, alone, examining herself. Looking for changes, differences - they seem very slight to Delphine. But will Cosima notice? How long does she have before it becomes obvious? She towels off and dresses, in thermals, she carries her civvies under her arm back to her room. Whatever happens next she doesn’t want Cosima to wake up alone. She crawls back in beside a naked Cosima in thermals.

“Cosima.” She kisses her forehead, Cosima stirs again, smiling sleepily back at her. She begins to gently massage the muscles of Cosima’s arms. They feel normal, even strong, she smiles at this as Cosima continues to wake.

“Mmm?” Cosima hums at her, stretching, then arms pulling her in. “Clothes?”

“Yes.” Delphine answers, “I’ve been awake a while.” This takes a few minutes to sink in as Cosima cuddles closer.

“No... oh shit.” Cosima’s definitely awake now, “You didn’t... I didn’t... shit. Sorry.”

“What?” Delphine’s brow furrows, “What are you talking about?” Their escape? Getting dressed without her? Sex? Delphine honestly has no idea.

“You didn’t come.” Cosima clarifies, tugging the thermal shirt off over her head, “I fell asleep instead.”

“No I didn’t ... but aren’t you hungry? We could go eat.” Delphine suggests. When did Cosima last eat anyways? She knows people are awake now, she doesn’t trust the soundproofing, or herself. She’s supposed to keep her schedule open for who knows how long.

‘No... take them off again.” Cosima’s hands have gone to the bottom, pulling them down, she’s stronger today. Delphine kicks off her remaining clothes onto the floor. The thermals and dress she laid out for Cosima temporarily forgotten.

Cosima hauls her in against bare skin. “It doesn’t matter.” Delphine kisses Cosima lightly, ensuring the blankets are covering them this time. Delphine lays on her side facing her, she has no right to feel this happy right now but does not want to ruin this.

“Don’t you want this? Don’t you want me to fuck you? How do you say it again?” Cosima’s voice is low, laying possessive kisses against her neck, pressing back up against her bare skin.

She half-laughs, “Baise-moi.” She knows Cosima’s heard those words from her before. Fucking doesn’t quite seem like the right description just now. The dreads are loose and she plays with one as she just takes this in, amused and delighted with Cosima.

“Say it like you mean it?” Cosima’s laughing as she asks for it, she pulls her in for a hard kiss, obviously having woken up aroused.

“Non... je t’aime trop.” She whispers against Cosima’s lips, she kisses her sweetly instead. She cannot imagine Cosima staying with her if she knew, not as her lover anyways. Hopefully she’d stay close enough to permit Delphine to treat her. She can picture that, seeing Cosima every few days, for checks on progress and medical treatment. Imagine the awkwardness of the exams and planning new treatments together. She should be able to keep her alive, she’s an immunologist, she knows the condition well and the treatments.

No matter how hard she tries she cannot picture Cosima’s hands running over a swollen belly, cannot picture her holding an infant in her arms. But right now she wills herself to pretend, pretend that this is their baby, that Cosima would love them both. The way Cosima is kissing her, letting her set the pace, makes it so easy to pretend. Just for a little while, she promises herself silently.

“Is that what you need to hear?” Cosima changes her tact, giving her a crooked smile and kisses her again soundly, hands pulling Delphine more fully under her own naked body. Those same hands grazing overly responsive breasts, making her moan. “That I love you?”

She nods, blushing slightly.

“I love you.” Cosima repeatedly murmurs into her lips, her skin, “I love you.”

Embarrassed that this is what is getting her going, Delphine tries to hide her face, pressing her cheek to Cosima’s and closing her eyes.

When Cosima begins to move down her body she stops her, “No, stay up here with me. Keep kissing me.” They are demands, but she says them softly. She needs to stay warm, skin on skin, this is enough.  
 “Alright,” Cosima nods adjusting position, “Do you want it like this?” Cosima’s hovering on top of her, keeping her body as close as she can to Delphine’s.

“Yes.” She claims Cosima’s lips again. She moves against her until she feels Cosima’s hand slip between her legs. She can feel Cosima’s skin against her own, warm, almost burning as she shifts over her.

“Oh... you’re soaked... So wet.” Cosima smiles, fingertips brushing gently, taking her time, “So I should just be a total sap in bed then?”

“Sometimes,” Delphine answers honestly. “Je t’aime.” She reaches to stroke Cosima’s cheek, cup it in her hand as her hips twitch at the touch Cosima’s teasing fingers.

“I know...” Cosima mumbles between kissing, “Making love, you say it in French a lot.” Cosima’s fingers are moving more steadily, she has decent control of them now, that’s for sure.

“Faire l’amour.” Delphine nods, “Too old fashioned,” she comments as Cosima finally thrusts into her, bracing her hand on her thigh as she moves firmly over her, inside her. Cosima’s slick and hot against her thigh, she’s not the only romantic here.  
 Cosima eyes her seriously, “No... it’s charming. Sexy even. Totally hot.” She stops for a moment looking at her, making sure that she’s listening Delphine supposes.

“Good.” She kisses back, Cosima’s cheeks, her forehead, she holds her close and rises her hips to meet her, following the steady rhythm Cosima has started.

Cosima’s looking at her intensely again, “Tell me you want me to make love to you.” She doesn’t stop moving, doesn’t stop thrusting or stroking at her with her thumb.

“Je veux que tu...” Delphine starts but her voice falters in a cry, she can feel pressure building towards climax more quickly than expected. Another side effect of her altered biology?

Cosima doesn’t let her finish, her lips descend as she rocks into her harder, deeper. Can she not resist? Or is it a tactic to disguise the noise they are making?

The kissing manages to muffle her sounds as one orgasm and then another crash over her. She keens and shakes before Cosima collapses on her breathing heavy, giddy and rather pleased with herself.

“You okay, Delphine?” She props her head up on her hand to get a good look.

“Yes.” She takes deep breathes, willing her breathing to slow, hoping that no one has overheard them, “You’re wonderful.” She cups Cosima’s cheek in her hand. “Mon amour, ma belle Cosima...” She whispers endearments into her ear. She could have taken university courses on the science of desire but it could have never explained to her the unexpected rightness she feels with Cosima.  
She’s slightly sweaty again and has probably used up more water than she should have already with her showering, though part of her enjoys the idea of smelling vaguely of Cosima and sex all day.

“Good, because I have nothing else to give you. No money. No human rights, no ability to own property or marry or vote... Or a hundred other things...” Cosima seems to be heading off on a tangent but she lets her.

“I don’t care.” Delphine whispers. You are enough she thinks, this is enough. She refuses to think of Cosima leaving her, she can put that off, just a little longer.

“I can’t give you your job back either. Or that house... you’ve given up so much.” Cosima’s shaking her head almost in disbelief.

“I don’t care.” Delphine repeats, kissing Cosima’s forehead. She’s traded everything for this, she realized some time ago that it was permanent. A free and alive Cosima, whether or not she stays, it will be worth it she tells herself.

“Your cushy life is over. Sorry.” Cosima apologize, releasing her to go dress, which she begins to do picking her clothing up off the floor.

“It was my choice.” Delphine reassures her, she continues dressing before climbing back on the bed beside Cosima.

“How long do I have?” Cosima asks, suddenly serious as she stands and pulls on her thermals, “Before it gets really bad? The autoimmune disorder.”

“Six months? A year? I can stop the disease from spreading - I have stem cell injections for you. But the damage to your lungs-”

Cosima interrupts, “Is irreparable. I guessed as much.” Cosima brushes the hair back from her face.

“I’m sorry.” Delphine apologizes, wrapping her arms around her. Is it time then, to bring Cosima in on her plan? Give her some hope?  
 “So ... with the injections giving me some semblance of an immune system - how long will I last?” Cosima stands and finishes dressing herself, throwing on a brightly patterned dress over the thermals and tugging on slippers.

“Long enough. Come with me.” Delphine offers her hand to Cosima and leads her from the room, down through the ship to the cargo bay. Cosima glances off in all directions, but she saves the tour, there will be time later.

They reach the frozen storage area, she opens the door to display a small collection of crates on one side and what is presumably frozen food for the crew and passengers on the other.

She approaches her small crate, pointing it out to Cosima, “We have some ability to treat you and something ... better than stem cells.” Least for some things, though she suspects Cosima will be dependent on stem cell injections for the rest of her life. She can live like that.

“What is it?” Cosima looks at the cryo containers and large crate sitting in cold storage. All marked with the same code marking them as Delphine’s. “Medical equipment?”

“Your new lungs, or it will be if when you need them. And a few other things I took from DYAD.” Delphine points at the various containers. It’s enough of an explanation for now, she’s not a genetic engineer, but they should be able to find someone to help them. Even the most backwater colonies have at least once decent city hospital, she hopes.

“So... stem cells? Clone?” Cosima looks impressed, “I guess I’m getting new lungs then. Full disclosure? I am probably going to dork out when we grow them.” Excitement plays in Cosima’s voice. She smiles back at her, unable to help herself.    
Delphine launches into an explanation as she digs for a stem cell injection, “I can manage your condition and keep it from spreading. I should be able to keep culturing cells, I have the equipment.” Delphine’s hand closes around the correct tube, she pulls it out, holding it in her hand to thaw. There are several others, enough, she thinks if she can continue culturing them indefinitely.

“Shall I bend over?” Cosima jokes.

“No, I’m going to use this to culture more cells in the med-bay fridge. We are going to need to keep culturing these cells for you.” Delphine explains, as she readies her equipment to do so. She doesn’t even touch the embryo, or it’s tank, she leaves it untouched. That one will have to wait.

“So,” Cosima asks, “How’d you get your hands on clone embryonic tissue if you’re not allowed near us anymore?” Her head is tilted and eyes bright, that damn inquisitiveness. Of course Cosima wants answers. The only question is how much does Cosima need to know? Would she let her use it if she knew the whole truth? She can’t risk it.

“It’s not clone,” Delphine answers distractedly. “But it should be compatible. Least I hope...” She’s desperately hoping it, the other embryos are lost to this now.

“What do you mean hope?” 

  
“It’s related to you closely enough that it should be a partial match - enough for new lungs if not stem cells.” Delphine smiles, “And we have enough clone stem cell injections to keep you going. I should be able to culture the cells in the med-lab here.” Delphine was already aware that treating Cosima, hopefully curing her, would be her full-time job now. Delphine’s brow furrows as she runs through possibilities.

“Good to know... related how?” Cosima’s incessant curiosity was going to get her in trouble.

“Related enough. I hope. Like a half-sibling would be.” Delphine answers with what she hopes is a noncommittal shrug.

“So it’s an embryo?” Cosima nods piecing things together, “Well... we are desperate and it was just sitting around, in what, DYAD’s freezer?”

“Yes.” Delphine agrees quickly nodding her head, “But we can use it. Otherwise it goes to waste in deep freeze.” This was a good a thing to tell Cosima as any, and much less awkward.That should be enough for now, Delphine thinks as she reseals the small grey crate and hides contents from view.

Cosima stops to consider, “Ok. Wow. I guess you got really lucky. As long as it’s not from some crazy transgenics experiment... But... it’s a match right?”

She jumps to assure Cosima, “No, it’s not transgenic. And it should be a match, well partial match, I didn’t have time to test it. Which is why I thought using it to grow lungs would be safer.” She’d been reading up on the subject for weeks now, it helped keep her focused, sane.

“Thank you.” Cosima leans into her, pressing a kiss to her neck, “Without you I would have been an eternal popsicle. And never able to smoke up again.”

Delphine pulls back to look at her seriously, “After all the trouble I’ve gone through trying to save your life, I would really appreciate if you don’t.” She guides Cosima out of the freezer, she doesn’t want to linger there, not now.

Cosima hesitates, “Ok. No more smoking pot. Vapour?” She adds hopefully.

Delphine rolls her eyes and pulls her in for a kiss, “Mmmm.”

Cosima breaks the kiss leaning back on her feet, arms still around Delphine for balance, “So can I help culture the cells?”

“Yes.” Delphine smiles, it looks like she will have some help after all.

“But I want all the information. My biology. My decisions. I decide whether or not we use the embryo, when I have all the information.”   
“Ok.” Delphine nods, though she is unsure of what she will tell her.

“So where is this ship going exactly?” Cosima asks on their way to the kitchen, “I know you said outer colonies when you tried to send me away on Leda 4 - so which ones?”

“Alida, the Echo colonies, Ilia ... I forget which ones come after that. We could ask to see the maps?” Delphine suggests, pausing to open the hatch for Cosima as they make their way back to the passenger area. She assumes they’ll pick a colony together, preferably one out of the way with a half-way decent hospital somewhere.

Val is sitting at the table drinking something that passes for coffee, a large pot of porridge bubbles on the stove. The kids are drawing near the far tables, while Paloma sits nearby rubbing at her temples. Headache? Delphine finds herself wondering if she should offer to treat it or simply ignore it.

“Cosima, this is Val, one of the pilots, you met last night. Paloma, another passenger, those are her sons over there.” Delphine gestures at the two small boys huddled over a pile of paper with a basket of crayons between them. From the looks of things, the boys had already eaten.

“Hi.” Cosima waves, somewhat awkwardly, Paloma looks at her in confusion, “I was in cryo storage... just thawed yesterday.”

“Want some breakfast?” Val stands and spoons out two more bowls passing them to Cosima and Delphine.

They sit to eat before talking. She’d forgotten how hungry she was. She needs to eat, she knows that much. She should be more careful about that now.

“I wasn’t aware there was cryo on this ship.” Paloma seems confused.

“Yeah. Just one. Me.” Cosima clarifies, eating like she’s been starving. Delphine sighs, she should have insisted they eat earlier.

“Treatment?” Paloma directs her question to Delphine but it is Val that answers her.

“No they’re one of those couples. All kinds, right?” She shrugs, taking another sip of whatever she’s drinking.

“Oh. We’re heading to my cousin’s farm on Agamemnon.” Paloma offers, “My sons and I.” She glances over at the boys, who still seem to be playing nicely, for now.

“Persephone.” Cosima answers without hesitation, looking at Val, “You are going that way, right?”

“We can. Absolutely. I think we do have a small supply drop there. That’s another eight weeks away though. Assuming we are not delayed.” Val rambles on, “Not much out there... nice planet though. I remember hearing from another traveller last year.”

“It’s much better than the core,” Paloma agrees, “No child limits, no slums, better air.”

Delphine remains quiet, Cosima joining in effortlessly on this discussion of social status and poverty that she herself knows little about. She rolls the tube in her pocket, filled with stem cells, thinking how to best excuse herself. They must be thawed enough now.

Yulia arrives, helping herself to breakfast and sitting down with them, “I want to show you the med-lab Delphine - it’s small.”  She gets to her feet quickly, “Of course.” The med lab is a small room, it’s covered with cabinets with sliding doors, filled with basic and less basic medications, they certainly have enough equipment. There is one small fridge that she should be able to culture cells in. There is no fancy scanning equipment, but they do seem to have equipment for sterilizing, a small blood scanner - tucked into the corner and covered with dust.  There is one bed and one portable gurney folded up. It’s suitable for doing basic surgery, examinations but not much else. She finds speculums, various beakers, medications - both labelled and unlabeled. It’s a mess. Fixing this would easily take up most of her day.

“I hope it will be suitable.” Yulia watches Delphine as she examines the room.

“Yes.” Delphine nods, it’s not great but it’s good enough.

“I know Paloma wants her IUD removed, I need a physical so does Sam even if he protests. It’s best you book us in for appointments. All of us. You can set your own hours. Barring emergencies.” Yulia lays out the terms easily.

  
 “IUD?” Delphine shudders, those aren’t used in the upper classes - it’s barriers or sterilization and semen banking. It sounds so... barbaric. Though, she should be able to look it up in the medical database she has on hand.

“It’s like another world to you isn’t it?” Yulia shakes her head, “You might be the strangest passenger we’ve had yet. Unaltered, well-off, educated and with interesting cargo.”

“Cosima is a person, not cargo.” Delphine replies automatically without turning around.

“Never said she wasn’t. Anyways I’ll let you settle in and look around.” Yulia leaves her in the med-lab.  
 It’s not even secure, Delphine muses to herself as she looks around, none of these drawers and cabinets lock. Delphine adjusts the temperature on the fridge, finding petrie dishes for cultures - and begins filling each with a small amount of stem cells. She knows that they will multiply and divide to fill the space. She’s returning them to the fridge when she stops, she should make an inventory list of everything contained in this med-lab.

She places the cultures in the fridge, she will have to see about getting a lock, surely they can spare one from elsewhere on the ship. She does not want her cultures tampered with, not when they are so essential to Cosima’s life.

Delphine is recording the medical inventory on what seems like an ancient built-in tablet in the near wall when she hears the latch being turned - it startles her from her work before the door opens to reveal Cosima and Val.

“Thanks for the tour. And there’s my favourite part- my sexy French girlfriend.” Cosima bounces up to her, Val following in her wake.

“What? No... she’s not French. Your girlfriend talks just like my mémère. I know where she’s from.” Val’s shaking her head looking at them both.

“What’s mémère?” Cosima looks puzzled for a moment looking from Delphine to Val bemusedly. Delphine eyes them both with interest.

“What you call your grandmother if you’re French Canadian.” Val shrugs, “Understand French fine myself but speaking it is harder.”

“Is this true?” Cosima turns to look at her, with curiosity.

“You assumed and I let you.” Delphine hadn’t though it very important, her work was easier to let people assume what they wanted when she was at DYAD.

“But... genetic engineering is illegal in Québec. I mean they have some serious anti-eugenics laws and you, you end up working for DYAD?” Cosima’s shaking her head, confused. She’s blinking.

Val takes the opportunity to slip away, not wanting to witness this fight. Delphine doubts that woman has ever felt awkward in her life.

“It wasn’t important.” Delphine shrugs, her place of birth is irrelevant. It was inconvenient to her work, so she’d hidden it. It doesn’t matter now, least it shouldn’t. This is really the least of her worries right now.

“I don’t know you at all, do I?” Cosima’s looking at her like she’s just been slapped.  

“No. You do. I promise you do.” More than anybody else. Delphine reaches for her but Cosima’s backing up, shrugging off her hands.

Cosima’s voice is cold now, “Get out... no your lab... I’ll go.” She walks out of the lab without another word, leaving Delphine to continue her inventory on her own. Is this a preview of what will come later? When larger secrets can no longer be hidden?

A few hours later she leaves the med-lab, locking the fridge it with a customizable combination lock before making her way back to the kitchen. She’d considered locking the entire room, but had decided that the fridge was most important. She opens the hatch to reveal Cosima sitting up on her knees, animatedly demonstrating something to the two young boys. A large plastic tub of water is in front of her.

“Ok Hank, what do you think about this one?” Cosima holds up a small metal object, there’s a collection of them on the towel.

“Sink!” Both boys chorus together. Hank enthusiastically takes the item from Cosima’s hand and drops it in the bucket and they all watch it sink.

“Correct hypothesis. Good guessing guys.” Cosima glances up at Delphine, “Science time.” She explains simply. She doesn’t sound angry anymore. Delphine glances around for the children’s mother, but she supposes Paloma is elsewhere, taking a small break from her small boys.

“Sink or float.” Jack adds, “Most of them sink.”

“I’m good at this game.” Hank adds happily.

“We’ve got lots left to go.” Cosima indicates the small collection of objects still on the towel.

“Do you want to join us?” Jack asks. Holding up a small plastic cup to Delphine from the towel. Cosima nods her consent, so she gets down on the floor with them, what else can she do? At least it will be a distraction.

Half an hour later Paloma returns, looking much more relaxed and takes her boys to go watch a vid in the recreation room.

“So sink or float?” Delphine laughs, splashing Cosima later as they clean up. She towels off some of the objects, scooping them out of the bin.

“They are three and five years old, it’s a good a place as any to start.” Cosima smiles, “Might get them hook on science experiments for life if we’re lucky.”

“I’m sorry.” Delphine reaches her hand, to gently squeeze Cosima’s hip.

“I know. It’s not that big a deal really. A bit of a trip but really just more mystifying than ever how you ended up at DYAD.” Cosima looks back at her.  

  
“I was always good at sciences, the boarding school my family sent me to was science based. They wanted the best opportunities for me.” Delphine explains.

“So you just fell in with what was normal once you got out here?” Cosima’s glancing at her.

“More or less.” Delphine could talk more about her youth, that she knew being unaltered made her less desirable or to a few, more exotic. But she lets it sit, she doesn’t think Cosima wants to picture a teenage Delphine mooning over some boy who long ago ceased to be relevant.  
 “What do you think about those laws now?” Cosima looks over at her.

“I think they protected natural human diversity, prevented eugenics, cloning. What they were designed to do.” Delphine puts a cover on the large tub of water, sealing it - they’ll save it for later rather than dump it out. Wasting water would be extremely idiotic.

“Some sort of forbidden fruit effect?” Cosima helps her slide the water tub out of the way under one of the tables.

“Maybe. Maybe I was just good at it, the research, the work. I was a physician first - remember?” Delphine returns the last of the objects to the table when she feels Cosima wrap her arms around her from behind, pulling her in close. Cosima’s arms have closed around her middle, unknowingly around the sibling of the embryo they intend to destroy to make lungs for Cosima.

“Yeah I do.” Cosima’s mouth has found her shoulder, “The research is amazing, some of the stuff they do does actually help people. Organ transplants - altering organs to better suit recipients, designing new ones. For example.”

“That is what we are going to do.” Delphine whispers. What they have to do, there is no other option, Cosima will require new lungs.

“Yeah. But as I said, I have to be in on everything. We do this together.” The words are hushed, for her ears only.

“Together.” Delphine echoes in agreement, one of her hands going over Cosima’s, holding them to her more tightly. Her eyes are shut, she’s feeling suddenly very close to tears again. Stay with me, she wants to beg.

“You okay?” Cosima seems to sense her distress.

“Yes.” She answers quietly, Cosima turns her in her arms and pulls her into a hug.

“You sure?” Cosima’s looking at her face, even without opening her eyes she can feel it.

“Delphine!” A voice shouts from the hallway, “We need you in med-lab, now!” And with that she takes off down the halls, Cosima on her heels.  
 When she arrives in med-lab one of the other men have guided Sam up on the gurney, his arm is gushing blood. It looks like he’s been shot, in the shoulder.

“Out of my way.” Delphine demands of the other man Mac? Mason? “You out, get Yulia - Cosima stay. Everyone else out.” She allows the door to remain open as she reaches for a pair of scissors to cut through his shirt and thermals the fabric comes off easily. She feels eyes watching her from the door, but is too concentrated to turn to shoo them away again.

“Sorry doc, tried not to get shot. Bullet went right through though. More of a graze.”  
She turns back to the sink, washing her hands as efficiently as she can before returning to her patient.

“I told you I am not a trauma surgeon.” Delphine’s shaking her head, but gearing up best she can regardless.

Sam seems in good spirits considering he’s been shot, “Think you can get me some knock-out juice?”

“What can I do?” Cosima glances from next to the door.   
Delphine grabs a pack of sterile gauze ripping it open, applying pressure to the wound, “The disinfectant, and get me that tool in the second cabinet to your left, we’re going to cauterize the wound.” She has not seen wounds like this since medical school, it appears to be from a real bullet to boot.

Cosima produces the disinfectant and the cauterizer - of course this ship would have one, she’s shaking her head as she takes it from Cosima. It’s reasonable - looks like it belongs in a city hospital on a core colony.

“And the painkillers are?” Cosima’s glancing around.

“Closest shelf to the bed.” Delphine doesn’t look back at her, she’s searching for the vein as Cosima hands her a small bottle and a syringe.

“Not too speedy...” Sam comments, “What kind of doctor are you anyways?”

“I’m paying 200 credits a month to travel with you and I am going to treat your wound.” Delphine brushes him off as she injects him with a small amount of the drug.

“That’s it?” Sam complains eyeing the syringe.

“I want you conscious.” Delphine explains. She returns her attention to the bullet wound, it was more of a graze, but she should still clean it .

“200 credits? That’s robbery. Delphine you did try to barter with him right?” Cosima’s handed her the cauterizer.

“Nope. Lover girl here just paid what I asked her.” Sam smiles dopily, “Course now that you’re awake I guess I deal with you...” He looks over at Cosima, finally relaxing as the drug kicks in.

“Delphine you have to barter. If you don’t barter they don’t respect you and will just keep charging you.” Cosima looks at Sam, “We don’t pay anymore - all the way to Persephone. We’ve paid more than enough. And you keep your mouth shut, and I want you to airlock the cryotube. Let it drift in space as junk - no evidence we were here. No stealing the gel or selling parts of it.”

“Fine.” Sam winces slightly as Delphine begins to cauterize his wound, he cannot feel much, Delphine knows but she’s certain she is not doing an expert job. Though certainly better than one with no medical training could do.

Cosima has no training, but is more than capable of finding things and passing her objects with only minor clarification needed.

“By how much was I overpaying?” She asks when she’s done and Sam is resting comfortably.

Cosima shakes her head, “You don’t want to know.”

Her hands are covered in blood, so are her sleeves, she washes off in the small sink. There is a box of gloves, she remembers now, but cannot remember where she placed them when she was reorganizing hours earlier.

Yulia finally appears, “You did good.” She eyes the wound, “Actually, Sam has another problem that now would be an excellent time to take a look at.”

“Oh no. Yulia...” Sam whines at his wife.

“What is it?” Delphine asks, glancing back at the bed. She’s not sure she wants to know.

  
 “I don’t suppose that you’re a urologist?” Yulia asks.

“No.” Delphine responds, “Definitely not.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of my readers, as we are coming to the end of this story - just thank you. I've enjoyed writing this (even though it's getting crazy long) and I hope that you've enjoyed it at least half as much as I have :)
> 
>  
> 
> You may notice small edits being made to the early chapters of this story - thanks to ourfauxpas from tumblr for helping me with this. I will not be adding any new content- just fixing my errors.

Delphine looks around the med-lab. She’s oddly starting to think of it as hers, Cosima’s helped with with culturing the clone stem cells as well as organizing and inventorying the entire stock of items. Cosima’s off again, likely doing another science lesson with the little guys to give their mother a break. They’ve fallen into a strange sort of routine over the last week. Mornings and evenings she spends in the med-lab, mornings taking patients who’ve let their strange health issues go too long and evenings with Cosima, holed up with their research and cell cultures. 

She’d settled in, as strange as that seemed. After the two days of attempting to hold Sam in med-lab, she’s removed an IUD, checked over the little boys and informed Sam that he should have a specialist look at his enlarged prostate when he got the chance. Her hands are currently gloved as she looks over Yulia. The door is latched shut. Odie still likes to lurk around, it makes her uncomfortable, but he has not spoken to her directly since she thawed Cosima last week. 

Yulia currently sits on the exam table discussing her issues. Delphine sits back, the physical examination finished with, she begins to sterilize her equipment. 

“Hot flashes.” Delphine sums it up quickly enough. She’s grateful that there seems to be nothing wrong, she’s not a gynecologist either. Though, her work in general family medicine from the Huxley Station clinic was useful to her lately. She’d taken blood samples to test for nutritional deficits from anyone who came in to the med-lab, Yulia was no exception though her problem didn’t seem to be a problem at all.

“Yes. Just menopause I think.” Yulia chuckles, “I have four grown children - no big deal. I saw it coming.” 

“Doesn’t appear to be anything wrong, are you having pain or just the hot flashes?” Delphine, Yulia seems in good health, rather typical for a middle-aged woman. She has more scars than most of the patients she’s seen before, nearly as many as Sam. Delphine doesn’t ask where the scars are from. Shootings? Stabbings? She’s not sure she wants to know what kind of contraband they are carrying. Though many of the supplies she’s seen appear to be normal cargo, medical supplies and the like. 

“No.” Yulia shakes her head. “That’s good I think. Though I swear I don’t need thermals anymore. Some mornings I feel like I wake up in a swamp, poor Sam is along for the ride.” She laughs, reaching for her clothes and beginning to dress.

She doesn’t feel particularly sorry for Sam, especially since learning she has been overcharged and having to put up with him for two days in med-lab irritating her.

Delphine removes her gloves, tossing them into the trash and washing her hands yet again. She approaches the terminal and enters the data in the medical information files she’s created for each of the crew members. It wasn’t difficult, she’d left only herself and Cosima off the list. Though most of her files were still blank, or lacking full names. 

“I suppose Val and Tasha are next?” Delphine glances at Yulia who’s been organizing most of these appointments.

“Tasha will come in on her own. Val? Well you’ll see. People will come when they want to.” Yulia shrugs as she finishes pulling her pants back on.

Delphine’s brow furrows, she’s unsure what Yulia means. She watches her leave, leaving the door open behind her. She returns to her usual work, sorting through the unknown medications - though without a molecular scanner she’s unsure how to identify them? Should she simply throw them out? How would she best dispose of them here? She sets the blood scanner doing basic tests on Yulia’s sample, she can sort through them later.

When she’s alone she finds more often then not her hand slipping down over her belly. It feels slightly rounder, and firmer... how much longer does she have? It is still at least seven weeks to Persephone... Delphine had chosen not to try to induce a miscarriage, the risk of hemorrhage and bleeding out more than enough to deter her. If she died, so would Cosima in all likelihood, though Cosima was resourceful and may manage to figure things out on her own. Somehow she’d begun thinking of it as a baby, her baby, which probably wouldn’t lend well to termination. Delphine shakes her head, baby, the thought makes her laugh. It was supposed to be stem cells, just sources for stem cells. Out of three embryos, one was supposed to have been a decent match. And Cosima would have never had to know where the maternal DNA came from - it doesn’t really matter. Though, it may not bother her, it’s hard to say. She’s been weighing that the last week, though their efforts had gone to creating more of the clone stem cell injections and fixing up the mess of a med-lab she’d inherited for the duration of their trip. 

Delphine stands, she locks the unlabeled medication away in a cabinet - at least they’d managed to get locks. Cord blood may still be a possibility, another 30 odd weeks from now, if the child is a match. There was no way to test that now, though perhaps if they went to a hospital or a clinic she could have more invasive prenatal testing done.    
Her head falls into her hand, eyes closing for a minute. She thinks of the blood scanner, she could test - not that it would make a difference at this stage. It would only serve to leave proof of her pregnancy in the lab, which might possibly be the worst way for Cosima to find out. She feels the difference, sees it, how can Cosima not? Does she simply not want to? The idea may not have even occurred to her, though she suspects soon enough the absence of her cycle will catch Cosima’s attention. 

“Hey? You alright?” Cosima’s voice comes in clearly, she must be standing in the hall. Cosima’s managed to integrate much better with the crew and passengers than she had. Until she’d thawed Cosima she’d spent most of her time alone. 

Delphine’s head shoots up, eyes opening quickly, “Yes, I’m fine.”

“You done for the morning?” Delphine smiles as she sees Cosima saunter into the med-lab. 

“Yeah. Another science lesson done.”

“Do you enjoy it? Working with children?” Delphine inquires nonchalantly, trying to seem casual. 

Cosima laughs, “Yes and the best part is I give them back afterwards. It is a lot of fun, mostly. I used to run science camps in the summers during my undergrad, decent paycheck, science, lots of fun.” Cosima’s grinning at her, “Though these two are a bit younger than my campers were, I’ve had to improvise.”

“Oh.” Delphine nods, “I think I’m all done here for now.” Provided no one shows up on their way back to their room. 

“Besides I think it’s time for our nap.” Cosima reaches for her hand, “The cells still doing their mitosis thing?”

This much was true, they’d been napping together every afternoon. Eyebrows may raise when they shut themselves in their room for hours each afternoon but unfortunately they were mostly sleeping. Cosima’s energy was still limited, and lately, Delphine has been tired enough to join her. Though, from what her books tell her in a few weeks her energy will pick up again. She looks forward to being able to get more work done. 

“Still dividing, should be able to freeze some of them in the next couple days.” Delphine smiles. So far, it seemed her plan would work. She could hold the disease in check, as long as Cosima let her anyways. She let Cosima lead her back to their room, she’d learned the ship - though it had taken her beloved a few days to stop getting lost. 

“Good.” Cosima responds, “Nice to know the polyps will not be spreading around.”

“You can thank DYAD for that.” Delphine opens the door, glancing around, “They did design the injections before I started working there.” Though there had been changes, experiments in treatments - she’d been very involved with that once. Sometimes it was hard to believe that that life was over. 

Cosima laughs, “I’d rather just thank you for stealing their stuff and being an immunologist.” She takes of her glasses and sets them on the nightstand out of harm’s way. 

Delphine closes and latches the door as Cosima undresses and slips back into bed.  
“My education will all pay off after all.” 

“Mmm come cuddle me.” Cosima holds the blankets open in front of her for Delphine to slip in. Typically, she has made a show of reading for a while before crawling into bed to sleep next to a zonked-out Cosima. She throws off her clothes to join her, moving one hand to the panel to dim the lights.

She slides in besides her and pulls her in close, “You going to manage to sleep if I do?” There is a reason she usually waits for Cosima to fall asleep before crawling in next to her, due to a rather sizable risk that they will not end up sleeping. Cosima can barely keep her hands off her when they’re not sleeping, she knows she must tell Cosima but she delays, wanting to enjoy this for as long as possible. 

“Yeah. I’m really tired actually.” Cosima admits, a hand lazily stroking Delphine’s hair. 

“Is it getting worse?” It’s a constant worry of hers now, can they afford to wait until Persephone before growing the lungs? Before moving forward with the treatments? 

“Not really,” Cosima yawns, “I feel about the same.”

“You do have to tell me if you start declining.” Delphine strokes Cosima’s skin, her lips for a few silent moments before they arrange themselves for sleep. 

Cosima drifts off first, as per usual. She can tell, her breathing is slower, but still uneven. It frightens her sometimes, if Cosima’s lungs were to fail, there would be nothing she could do. Not here. She requires a half-decent hospital and at least two months to grow a new set of lungs for Cosima. So she listens to her breathing, watches for subtle signs of oxygen depravation and intends to meet it head on if it occurs.

Delphine doesn’t imagine that Cosima would take to wearing an oxygen mask or a cannula without considerable prodding or necessity. 

She dozes off eventually. Her dreams are littered with her anxieties. Sometimes she dreams that she is trapped back at DYAD or that Cosima is dead. Often she dreams of Cosima rejecting her. Of being alone again. Having a child who resembles Cosima without Cosima around. Everything plays out in her subconscious again and again, a hundred different ways.

This latest dream is both ridiculous and vivid. She dreams of being hugely pregnant with Cosima shouting at her. When she fires back at dream-Cosima, how? How did you not notice? ‘I don’t know’ dream-Cosima snapped, ‘I thought you were stress-eating or something.’

She wakes disturbed before laughing slightly, trying not to move too much and wake the real Cosima who is asleep on top of her, curled into her chest. At least she thought Cosima was sleeping. Cosima squirms against her, cuddling in, lips kissing around her collarbone. 

Delphine considers before speaking, “I thought you were sleeping?” Cosima should still be sleeping, they have not been napping that long, anything else can wait. 

“I was but you’re just so damn sexy.” Cosima has clearly woken up, a hand carelessly stroking her breast looking down her body. Post-nap sex had also become a thing, although she was increasingly concerned about Cosima’s oxygen intake and health. Cosima would simply brush her off, and say or do something horribly arousing.

“Did you get enough sleep?” Delphine asks, Cosima hadn’t slept as long as usual. 

“For now.” Cosima lets out a low groan as she continues her leisurely exploration, hands skimming ribs, feeling skin. Delphine lets herself get swept away, hands going to Cosima’s bare skin, tugging her closer. 

Cosima’s hand is lower now, pressed over the slight swell of her abdomen. Her hands stilled on Delphine’s body.  
She knows, Delphine realizes instantly. While she’d been agonizing over telling Cosima, the small changes in her body had caught Cosima’s attention. Cosima had spent nearly two weeks learning her body on Leda 4, of course she’d noticed. 

Cosima’s propped up now, her eyes intently fixed on Delphine’s. For a long moment no one speaks. Delphine doesn’t move, her mouth opens and closes several times but finds herself at a loss. 

“Is it his?” Cosima inquires quietly, her fingers touching gently, feeling out this altering terrain.

Delphine is stunned, “How long have you known?”

“A while, I was waiting for you to tell me but... you haven’t. You smell different, taste different - not bad, don’t worry. Your breasts are fuller and crazy sensitive, you’re more sensitive everywhere actually... it’s kind of sexy,” Cosima pauses, “Sorry, tangent, what I’m trying to say is I’ll still love it, obvs, cause it’s yours. If, you know, having this kid is what you want to do.”

“It’s not Leekie’s.” Delphine replies, pressing her hand to Cosima’s face, “I promise it’s not.” 

Cosima pauses, “Ok... comforting but also not comforting because then who? And when?” 

Why does Cosima assume that first? That she’s cheated on her? Delphine has to correct this, even if it makes things worse, “The embryo in cold storage? The frozen one? It wasn’t the only one ...” 

“You had one implanted? But...why?” Cosima’s shaking her head, “If we need more stem cells why would you do that?”

“They aren’t just stem cells, they’re mine... It was something Leekie wanted me to do but then I found a way I could use it to help you.” Delphine explains, her hand still stroking lazy circles on Cosima’s back. Please understand she pleads silently, please...  
 “Woah. Complex.” Cosima’s eyes close, “So both your kid, my half-sibling and a source of stem cells for my treatment. And my destined lungs too. Kinda weird.” 

“I did what I had to do. I had to have one implanted.” Delphine pulls Cosima closer, “Though, I may have gotten more than I bargained for...”

“A baby? Yeah. That’s a pretty big investment of time and energy.” Cosima agrees.

“There might be two.” Delphine admits quietly. She hopes not, one will be quite enough for her to handle, especially on her own. 

“Holy shit.” Cosima’s laughing, “You serious?”

“Yes. They implanted two. I agreed to implant one but it was too late at that point. I don’t know if they both took. One definitely did - I am very late,” She finishes sheepishly.

“So they harvested your ova, you found my... biological father’s sperm in the DYAD gene bank and just went for it. Woah. Going to take a while to digest that one,” Cosima’s still shaking her head, “I can’t believe you trusted them to extract ova from you.”

“I didn’t. I had to donate to one of their projects. It was part of being kept on at DYAD. They took more from me than they said they did. But I don’t know what they did with them.” Delphine confesses.    
“Why not? I mean, if they did that to me, they can’t obvs, but I would be really beyond pissed. I’d want to know. I’d probably want to sue actually.” Cosima props her head up on her hand, getting a better look at her.    
“I had to get away with you, there wasn’t time.” Delphine shrugs slightly, pulling Cosima in closer.

“Are you going to keep it?” Cosima asks quietly, “Most of these planets have at least one decent hospital, there are clinics...”

“I don’t know.” Delphine hesitates, “Why didn’t you say anything before now? You just kept on like it was normal, kept touching me like you didn’t notice.”

“Well... I’m not, you know, thrilled but... I still want you.” Cosima’s propped up now, so that she can gesture as she speaks.

“You’ll stay?”

“Yeah, of course. Rest of my life - however long or short that ends up being.” Cosima’s tone is joking, but her eyes are completely sincere. 

“Don’t talk like that.” Delphine presses a finger to Cosima’s lips, “I’ll try anything, we’ll do what we have to do.” I won’t let you die, she promises silently, I won’t let that happen. 

“Just promise me you’re not having this kid for spare parts or stem cells from cord blood. Is it even a match? I mean you’re the immunologist, graft versus host disease would be crazy amounts of unpleasant. And counterproductive.” 

“I don’t know if it’s a match - I couldn’t have the embryos tested without drawing suspicion. They’re unaltered, screened for genetic abnormalities only. Leekie was always watching and when they put him in cryo - I left with you that day.” Maybe she’d been too rash, too rushed to depart Huxley Station with Cosima, but looking back she could not think of any other way they could have gotten away. 

“Have it if you want a baby. No other reason.” Cosima’s stroking her face again, “How far along are you?”

“About ten weeks.” Delphine manages a weak smile, it is starting to feel like it might be okay. They might all be okay. 

“We have time.” Cosima kisses her gently, “And... if you have it, I will love both of you. I promise.”

“Is it really sexy to you?” She’s curious now, she needs to know. 

“Yeah. It is really really sexy.” Cosima grins, “I can’t keep my hands off you, can I?”

“You couldn’t before either.” Delphine reminds her, hands teasing up Cosima’s sides. 

“Neither could you.” Cosima smirks, delighted at that, obviously reminiscing. Then adds seriously, “I don’t want to stop touching you, I don’t want to stop living. Not right now, doesn’t matter what comes next.”

It’s enough, for now, they’d take things day by day.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it. We've reached the end of this story. 
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed reading :)

Despite never having set foot outside of the core colonies Delphine learns quickly that things out here are very different. Four weeks ago they’d dropped Paloma and her sons off on Agamemnon - shuttled down by Val to the surface to start their new lives on a farm. The past four weeks had been so quiet, she’d grown used to the noise of the little boys yelling and running up and down the corridor. Without them the ship seemed much quieter, almost dreary. They were the only two passengers left now.

Now, days away from Persephone she took time to appreciate just how different things were. Outside the core colonies, having a centralized government simply didn’t function - each colony was independent, many having conflicting laws or strange customs she’d never heard of.

“Why not Agamemnon? Or another colony? Why not get off sooner?” Delphine asks one lazy afternoon, though Cosima must have some sort of reason. She hopes it isn’t because Cosima likes the name or something.

“Agamemnon prohibits same sex marriage, most colonies out this way do actually,” Cosima responds lazily without truly answering her question, “Good place to hide out, the boonies.”

Delphine gasps it hadn’t seemed fair, but Cosima simple shrugs it off, as if she’d known this before.

“Least the lower classes don’t try to ‘breed out the gay’ via genetic engineering.” Cosima had added, to which she couldn’t say much. It was true, after all.  
 “It doesn’t always work.” Delphine acknowledged, though, she’d always considered sexuality a spectrum, the line on sexuality was that labels were insignificant, and yet they tried to breed ‘alternative’ sexuality out of people. But it was more complicated than eliminating certain alleles.

“It’s weird. It’s all weird. Oh and get used to the word queer, and the other out of fashion labels - we’re probably going to hear them a lot. And not just in nice curious ways either.” Cosima had warned her, a hand going to hold her own.

Gay? Lesbian? She hadn’t really identified with any of them. She supposed bisexual was the most accurate. It sounded a little strange, more importantly she was in love with Cosima, isn’t that enough? Maybe not in this part of the galaxy.

“Am I bisexual?” She asks Cosima pausing slightly.

“If that’s how you want to identify. Sure.” Cosima shrugs.

“How do you identify?” Delphine stands, moving over to the kitchen, glancing back at Cosima to watch her. She loves just watching her, as silly as that is. Even sick.

 

“A label is just, you know, a label.” Cosima perches on her seat, she’s pale these days, but still breathing, “People can call me whatever they want. Mostly gay maybe?”

Her pregnancy had become obvious in the last seven weeks, she doubted there was a single person on board who hadn’t noticed, aside from the children who were no longer on board. Mostly they gossiped behind her back. She hadn’t confirmed her pregnancy to anyone but they all seemed to know. That seems to be what happens when you wait this long to tell people. She can no longer pass for someone who has taken to overeating, now looking distinctly pregnant. Recently she’s been convinced that she’s feeling the baby move, fluttery and strange.

Cosima now slept most nights spooned close behind her with a hand draped over her growing belly. It was sweet, made all the sweeter by the implication that Cosima was becoming attached.

She grabs rations from the cupboards, and hands a ration pack to Cosima, “We both need to eat.” She’d been taking an extra share of rations, Cosima insisted that she have it and so far either no one had noticed or she’d paid enough in advance that they didn’t care.

“There’s one reason for Persephone right there. Better food. It’s mostly farmland, well and forests. Totally agrarian.” Cosima nods, grimacing at her ration pack before beginning to eat. Although nearly tasteless rations did have the vitamins and minerals they need.

“Promise me there is a decent hospital. We need one for your transplant.” Delphine whispers back as Val and Odie both show up to eat. Privacy is a limited commodity on board a small cargo vessel.

“Ah, you think you’ll be having that baby in a fancy hospital?” Val shakes her head, “They don’t do that out here unless there is something terribly wrong. Sometimes not even then. Waste of resources that much intervention, maybe you’ll find a small clinic.”

“Thank you Val.” Delphine cannot think of anything else to say, it’s a good as excuse as any she thinks. Cosima catches her eye and tilts her head, the message is clear, they cannot discuss this now.

“So who’s baby are you having? How did this all...work?” Val is having trouble keeping her own curiosity under wraps. Delphine supposed it hadn’t occurred to Val that this child could be from a gene bank, most people out here were conceived naturally. She probably assumes more than she should.

“It’s mine.” Cosima retorted shutting down the conversation with look that closed the issue. She has her free hand fingers interlinked with Delphine’s, she wasn’t going to let any of them mess with her, financially or otherwise.

“Not likely.” Odie muttered, “You didn’t lock the storage room door when you thawed her. She lacks the equipment.”

Delphine cannot say that she is truly surprised by this revelation, so she says nothing brining the ration pack to her lips and sucking out its horribly bland contents.

Val slaps him on the shoulder, “Leave it Odie. Eat and get back to that engine of yours.” Val selects a ration pack and sits down casually opposite them.

“What is your deal?” Odie’s shaking his head, hand coming up to defend himself. He sits a short distance away. It was in the end only Odie who had refused to come and see her in med-bay. Everyone else had been examined and tested, though Delphine couldn’t say that she minded.

“You know I don’t have a deal.” Val shrugs, handing him a ration pack and sitting down alone.

“Should we go?” Delphine looks to Cosima.

“Nah. Usually when I tell them it’s mine they leave it.” Cosima’s only half-finished her ration pack, Delphine nudges her to continue. Cosima has to eat.

“So they ask you and not me?” This might explain a lot.

Cosima smiles, “I’m less intimidating. And around more - you spend your time in med-lab or reading up.”

“And more talkative.” Val adds, “Though you’ll be on Persephone before you know it. I’ll be taking you down myself. Sam doesn’t want to.”

“Not Tasha?” Delphine turns to ask, Tasha may be a hotshot kid but she’s quieter than Val.

“No. We used to have three shuttles, not two. Now we have two. And since we’ve had two Tasha is no longer allowed to do shuttle runs.” Val explains between enthusiastic consumption of her rations, “Anyways I’m off to sleep. I’ll be shuttling the two of you down to the surface in the morning.”

“We’re that close?” Delphine looks at Cosima in awe.

“I guess so... we better pack up the med-lab, get all the other injections frozen.” Cosima’s had an injection every three weeks, and that seemed to have an improvement on her condition.

“Yes.” Delphine stands, they take their rations to go, there’s work to be done. They pack up the remaining stem cells in tubes that can be frozen and run them down to the freezer, packing away in the crate. Delphine shoos Cosima out as soon as she can, she can seal the crate alone, no need for Cosima to freeze too.

When she emerges from the freezer the first thing she notices is Cosima hiding her hand, “Did you cough up blood again?”

“Yes.” Cosima states simply turning her hand around, they’d managed to hide Cosima’s illness from everyone on board the ship, more or less. She supposed it was better that way, she didn’t want to explain what it was Cosima had or why it wasn’t contagious. The last thing she needed was the crew to panic about contracting tuberculosis or whatever they thought when they saw blood being coughed up.

“Are you alright?” Delphine is about to suggest returning to med-lab and getting some extra oxygen but Cosima’s eyes are begging her not to.   
“Yes, it’s fine, we just need to finish packing, right?” Cosima looks at her, reaching for her hand.

“Alright, I’ll meet you back in the room.” Delphine was getting an oxygen mask for Cosima, like it or not, for the trip down tomorrow if not now. Cosima nods and continues her way back to their room. She can picture it clearly, Cosima throwing their clothes into their bags haphazardly. Though Delphine admitted she could leave some of her clothes here, she already accepted that she has to buy new clothes on the surface, most of her pants no longer fit due to her round and growing belly.

She arrives back to their room, oxygen and mask in hand, “Cosima pack this too.”

“I’m fine, totes fine. I promise. We’re stable. I’m stable.” Cosima’s trying to convince her but they both know that it hurts to breathe, that a transplant is essential in Cosima’s future. She will make that happen, she intends to start growing the lungs within the next week, and as soon as they were mature she was going to schedule the transplant.

Delphine hoped desperately that Cosima was right, “I don’t want you straining your lungs, it’s just oxygen.” She is unsure how she will care for an infant and a sick Cosima at the same time, the thought frightens her terribly. Most of the time she shoves the thought away, Cosima will be well when the child is born, she reassures herself imagining it. Or recovering from her transplant anyways, she may need to hire someone to help her - she files that thought away and redirects her attention to the present.

“I’m fine, so do you want these pants?” Cosima points to a pile on the bed, the ones that currently she cannot wear.   
“What’s the point?” Delphine asks looking down, hand cupping her belly, it was quite round now.

“They will probably fit again at some point, when you’re done being my own personal fertility goddess.” Cosima reminds her with a smile, tossing the pants into the suitcase as well. Arms go around her pulling her into a hug. Cosima’s taken as much pleasure and delight in these changes as she had in her body before, though rarely talking about the pregnancy.

“Does it seem big to you?”

“Well...I don’t think so? I haven’t really been around a lot of pregnant women. But it’s so cute and round.” Cosima giggles hands moving over the new firm roundness between them, “You’re just so cute.” Cosima’s kissing her now, packing momentarily forgotten, though the metallic tang reminds her that she cannot forget her first priority, treating Cosima. It has to remain that way.

“You’re getting attached.” Delphine smiles at Cosima’s hands there, feeling out the changes, running down her hips and back up again smiling at her.

“Yeah... should I not?” Cosima’s looking at her, “I don’t want to make assumptions... I mean, there is still time. But the kid is as big as a onion according to those books of yours.” Cosima has been reading up too, it pleases her.

She cuts Cosima off with another kiss, “I can feel it move.” She whispers, kissing near Cosima’s ear. She takes the lobe of Cosima’s ear into her mouth, gently scraping with her teeth.

“Ohh.” Cosima moans before breaking away, “Packing, packing we have to pack.” 

  
“You’re just going to throw it all in anyways.” Delphine teases, her hands going to Cosima’s hips pulling her flush against her. She still wants her all the time, that hasn’t changed. Cosima’s ability to keep up with her has, however, she’s constantly checking to ensure that Cosima is okay, that she can breathe.

“No don’t stop. I’m fine... just let me breathe and I’ll be fine.” Cosima reassures her, their kisses are shorter now.

“Are you up to it?” Delphine asks, softly kissing. Cosima’s energy wasn’t the greatest, but she still made an effort to do more than sleep in Delphine’s arms.

“Yes. I can manage it.” Cosima husk, “What does it feel like? When it moves?” Her eyes displaying that same incessant curiosity, she wants to know.

“Strange, fluttery... alive.” Delphine answers, hands going to Cosima’s body, she’s gentle with her these days, worried that roughness would hurt, or tire her out more quickly.

Cosima pulls her down on top of her, the packing momentarily forgotten, hips rising up to meet her own as her lips are tugged down for another kiss, and another. Delphine breaks the kiss every few seconds to check that Cosima is breathing steady before being drawn back to her lips, Cosima’s hands have gone to guide her hips, starting a slow gentle friction between them.

“Do you want it like this?” Cosima asks, her voice barely audible, all slow breaths and eyes watching her.

“Any way you want,” She answers, softly rolling her hips over Cosima’s own. They’re still mostly clothed but it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t take much these days.

“Naked would be a good start.” Cosima suggests grinning at her. Being the only passengers left does have its small advantages. They can be as loud as they like now.

“Brat.” Delphine removes her shirt and one of two pairs of pants she owns that still fit her, before stepping out of her thermals. Cosima wrestles with her own clothes on the bed, wiggling out and laying out over the blankets. She rushes back at Cosima, climbing on top of her once more. She’s sopping wet and pressing against Cosima’s bare skin, she watches Cosima’s eyes roll back in response.

“You like it. I can feel how much you like it.” Cosima teases, “You love me.” Cosima rocks upwards again grinding a little more firmly.

“Oui. Je t’aime. Je suis absolument folle de toi.” Delphine’s voice is little more than a moan, it doesn’t take much these days to please her, increased blood volume seems to have interesting effects on her physiology.

Cosima groans, “Not fair... French is not playing fair.” She writhes under her needily, knowing full well she can make Delphine come from this, from almost nothing.

It’s sweet and slow, gently bringing her to climax as she’s coming down she notices Cosima flipping herself around so her head is closing in on Delphine’s sex.  
 “What are you doing? We’ll get cold again...” Delphine resists for a moment. They hadn’t done much of this in the last few weeks, space was cold after all.  

“Not if we do it this way... Lay on your side,” Cosima is insistent, “Ever heard of sixty-nine?”

Delphine pauses before responding, “Yes.” Hearing of it is one thing, doing it yourself is quite another Delphine decides as they adjust position.

Though she does as she’s told, Cosima rests her head on her thigh and pulls herself in closely, Delphine cannot stop the giggle that emerges from her mouth, or the moan that follows when Cosima begins to tenderly kiss her sex, hands feeling strong, flexing against her ass as she pulls herself in closer. She gasps and pulls Cosima closer with the strong muscles of her thighs.

Cosima blatantly presents herself to her, legs spread and moving towards her head. she moves forward, mirroring Cosima’s movements, her mouth enthusiastically finding the musky sweetness of Cosima’s sex and taking her gently into her mouth, feeling those hips move against her, albeit at a very different angle.

It’s slightly awkward, and entirely distracting, but she cannot mind, not when she can simultaneously taste and pleasure Cosima while feeling the rhythm Cosima’s tongue is playing against her. Her eyes close, the view isn’t her favourite, but the way it feels has her groaning into Cosima and rocking her hips into Cosima’s face, thighs clamped firmly around the vicinity of Cosima’s ears. Somehow Cosima’s own thighs remain gentle around her own head, how does she have that kind of control? Delphine is semi-aware of the same fluttering inside her, perhaps in response to all the excitement, but ignores it. It simply becomes part of the steady stream of heightened sensations. She cries out freely, there’s no one to overhear them now.

Delphine wonders if they’ll find release together, the idea intrigues and excites her to distraction as she works Cosima more firmly, more lovingly. In the end she comes hard twice, shaking and groaning before Cosima finally climaxes, having first released Delphine from her mouth to permit her to concentrate solely on Cosima’s pleasure.

After coming down, Cosima flips back around with a devilish smile, pulling Delphine in by the shoulders, “So? Warm enough? Impressed? Weirded out? Are you going to let me do that again?”  
 She’s not sure how to answer, “All of it?” She’s breathing heavy and kissing whatever she can reach, entirely enthralled with Cosima, her Cosima.

“Ok. I can work with that,” Cosima laughs, “I love how responsive you are... Everything is so intense. It’s so hot.” She’s kissing her like they’re revving up to go again, but she knows they are both too tired. The kisses gradually come slower, clinging and leisurely.  
Silence with Cosima is comfortable, they smile at each other, hands stroking faces and hair, touching sweat slick skin, whatever comes next they have this right now. It has to be enough.

“Can we just have this forever?” Delphine asks, satiated and cuddled close. She’ll enjoy this as much as she can now before a larger belly makes cuddling into Cosima like this impossible. Or when Cosima’s decline or recovery prohibits lovemaking, a day she knows will come one way or another.

“You don’t know everything about me yet you know.” Cosima banters affectionately, stroking along her skin, fingers tracing the splatter of moles on her back like constellations.

“I’ll learn.” Delphine states decisively, she wants the rest of her life to learn everything about Cosima, she fully intends to. After Cosima falls asleep, she disentangles herself to repack everything neatly and ready things for the morning. She falls asleep more easily now, though she cannot let herself forget a thing, so much needs to be done.

 

The morning finds them both strapped into the shuttle, Cosima finally wearing the damned oxygen mask as Val locks away their belongings before returning to the cockpit.  
 “Ok. So don’t touch anything, no gravity so stay strapped up. I’m taking you to the northern continent like Cosima told me to. Delphine - I’ll try to make the ride smooth for you and the little one; but you might want oxygen too actually.” Val fetches a spare from a locked compartment in the cockpit, “Cosima - you’ll probably be okay without unless you’re a nervous rider.”

“Guilty as charged.” Cosima smiles playing along, the oxygen mask securely on her face. It fogs up slightly as she breathes, but knowing Cosima’s lungs are taking in a higher percentage of oxygen soothes Delphine’s nerves.

Val places one over Delphine’s own nose and mouth, instantly she feels better, “Yeah nice isn’t it? Don’t worry, it’s just oxygen made for pilots.” Val chatters on as usual as they disengage from the ship.

“Have you done this a lot?” Cosima asks.

“I’ve been flying fifteen years now. You’re lucky it’s me, if it was Tasha - best case scenario you just lose that baby. Worst? You all die.”

Delphine is unsure of whether to laugh or not, Val continues to ramble on about her life and the many ships she’s worked on as she shuttles them down to the surface.  
 They finally land in a medium sized town. Val helps load their belongings out of the shuttle. She looks around, Persephone is beautiful, but there doesn’t seem to be much here. There’s a train station and what appears to be a fairly boring town. People don’t seem to notice or care that a shuttle has set down just outside of town either. It seems to be constructed almost as an open market, people are far more interested in Val and her crates than in her passengers. It’s autumn on this planet and she’s finding it comfortable to still be in her thermals, they should stop and pick up some clothes somewhere. Delphine goes through a list in her head, everything she must do now. Her cold storage is packed and sealed with new liquid nitrogen - there is no danger of it thawing soon.

“Ok, I guess this is goodbye. I have another run down to the south continent - so I’ll wish the three of you the best of luck I guess.” Val shakes Cosima’s hand and then her own.

“Where to now?” She looks to Cosima. The town is decent sized, though she doubts their hospital is up to growing lungs - it may be suitable for having the transplant done. She assumes they’ll get a hotel room and search for a suitable apartment and lab-space. Delphine considers whether or not she’ll use her real name, Persephone should be far enough away that it doesn’t matter what name she chooses.

“We need to rent a vehicle.” Cosima looks over at her seriously, “And I’m sorry, but you’re about to learn why I don’t usually drive.”

Delphine is briefly left to her own devices, so she purchases food, and some clothing - the merchants notice her pregnancy and direct her to the appropriate garments. She remembers Cosima’s words and barters for everything, offering half of what they charge - it never costs her much more then that.

When Cosima returns it is driving, honking the horn and smiling at her through the windshield. The vehicle Cosima has found for them is large, the trunk soon filled with their belongings. Cosima stops to grab a fruit out of a large paper bag eating it, “Oh I’ve missed this. Real food.”

“Me too.” Delphine stops for a snack as well, they have time - a little anyways. The taste of the fruit practically explodes into her mouth after weeks of eating mostly rations.  
 “And it’s solar.” Cosima smiles, “Your money goes further out here - everything is worth less - most people here don’t have this kind of money.”

“Where are we going?”

“I know a place. People here.” Cosima hesitates, “I can get what we need.” Cosima is playing at something, though what it is she’s unsure. She hopes it’s not her dealer, marijuana will not help them right now.  
 Delphine plays along with whatever this game is, “Are you going to tell me where we are going?”

“No. You’ll have to wait and see.” Cosima finishes decisively, “GPS.” She holds up the device.

“So you don’t know where we are going?” Delphine sighs, “Cosima we should stay in town, close to the hospital.”

“We can always come back.” Cosima reassures her, stroking her arm, “Just come on.”

“Alright. Alright.” Delphine agrees, what choice does she have? If it’s a few days in the wilderness Cosima wants that isn’t so awful, but she wants to begin growing those new lungs before the end of the week. They cannot put this off any longer.

They pass farmlands mostly, then wooded forests. Cosima seems to know where they’re going, she doesn’t ask how or why. She falls asleep without meaning to, and wakes to the now familiar feeling of Cosima’s lips pressing to her cheek.

“We’re here.” Cosima steps out of the car to reveal a large circular structure surrounded by a deck. Solar panels litter the roof and what looks like crops surround the area - some sort of farm? It seems well constructed and well kept. There’s a truck parked outside a small stand alone garage. It’s smallish, like a hobby farm she guesses. Though a crop behind the house looks somewhat suspicious and for a moment she thinks it may be Cosima’s dealer after all... that will not help them any,

“What is it?” Delphine finally asks, looking around.  
 “The house? A yurt. Cool isn’t it? I’ve always wanted one.” Cosima’s pointing at it, they seem to be in the forest, “There are a couple of them on the property... I think they still have a guest house...” Cosima’s running off on another tangent before she interrupts her.

“Who does it belong to?” Delphine’s asking but there are people coming from the yurt. A little girl is running down the steps with a short woman and a tall bearded man chasing after her.

When she catches sight of the woman’s face her heart stops beating for just a moment.  
Delphine looks around stunned, in addition to the woman who so resembles her beloved Cosima, there’s a little girl. A little girl who is definitely the daughter of the woman standing next to her. The impossible daughter of a clone. An anomaly. Her mind races but she finds herself speechless.

“Auntie Cosima!” The child greets her happily, her parents standing on either side of her.

“Hey Kira! Been a while, Cal. Sarah.” Cosima greets these people, this family, like they are hers. Sarah rushes forward to hug Cosima, as does Kira. These strangers embrace her beloved. She suddenly feels self-conscious, her pregnancy is fairly obvious and both of the child’s parents seem to be looking her over.

“What? How?” Delphine’s lost now looking from Cosima to Sarah... surely... how? Cosima’s clone releases Cosima who turns back to Delphine.

The woman, Sarah, speaks, “Cos... we thought we’d lost you. Cal sent someone to Eos but you’d just... vanished. I did what you said though, you vanished for more than two weeks so I took Kira and we came to Persephone to live with Cal. Took the whole crew - they’re mostly in the city though.”

“I know... DYAD got me. But I was sick, what choice did I have? Delphine here helped me get away.” Cosima turns to smile at her, taking her hand, “Delphine, this is my sister Sarah. Well clone but...you know. And her... Cal and their daughter Kira.”   
“Hello.” Delphine greets them as best as she can, shock is still taking up a large part of her mind.

“This is Delphine.” Cosima introduces her, “Umm yeah. Might have lied about not knowing I was a clone. I knew for a couple years before we met.”

“To protect them.” Delphine fills in, she does not blame her for that. DYAD would love to get their claws into that little girl. They’d never let that happen. Her mind jumps to the autoimmune disease, the infertility sequence... does Sarah not have it? Had it failed? Could this help her treat Cosima? It should help at least, assuming they can get her the equipment. Gene therapy - the idea occurs to her - there might be a way to look over the original sequences, find out why Sarah’s failed and try to induce the same response in Cosima. It won’t make her fertile, of course, but it may help her immune system to function without the constant stream of injections to hold back the disease.

“You get kidnapped by DYAD, thrown in their lab and you come home with a girlfriend? A pregnant girlfriend? Holy shite Cosima... you haven’t been on a date in years.” Sarah’s started to laugh, which makes Kira giggle slightly.

“Yeah, we met at DYAD, she helped me escape Sarah, she’s on our side.” Cosima spells this out for her clone, meeting her eyes but staying close to Delphine.

“You’re DYAD then.” Sarah crosses her arms leaning against the stair rail up to the yurt, she looks Delphine over, defensively.

“I was.” Delphine answers honestly, there is something about this woman that makes Delphine very nervous, but Cosima’s holding her hand tightly, reminding her she’s not alone.

“Sarah, we’ll feed them first, ask questions later. Just cool it a little with the interrogation.” Cal finally speaks, putting his hand on her shoulder, which seems to calm her slightly.

“And then I can show Auntie Cosima and her girlfriend around the farm.” Kira volunteers. “The squash are huge!”

“Sounds good.” Cosima glances back at Delphine, “It’s going to be okay Delphine, they can help us. Get us what we need.”

“What you don’t know,” Cal spoke again, “Is that you’ve just walked into the resistance. Anti-modification, anti-commodification, rights for clones, information, education... all of it. Well Mrs. S heads it up, but you’ll meet her later.”

“Hang on, we can’t bring her in all at once. How do you know we can trust her?” Sarah shaking her head, her arm holding Kira close as if that will protect her.

“I’m here because of Cosima, no other reason.” Delphine manages finally, “I just want to help Cosima.” They eye her warily, but say nothing.

Cosima looks at her, holding her hand, “Yeah. Umm time for total honesty then?”

“Yes.” Delphine nods at her, looking around, feeling suddenly very disoriented, she wants to eat, sit down and get a decent night’s sleep before tackling this, though she doubts she will get the chance.

Cal nods, “Welcome to the revolution.”

 

FIN


End file.
